Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

Some links before getting started today. Parsnip had some weekend photos. Krisztina had a Met Gala meme. Cheryl had dentist woes. Maria looked at an old TV series. And Ivy had a fun fact.

It is time once again for my regular cat and dog posts. As always, I start off with the resident troublemaker, the hound called Loki. True to his namesake, he's up to no good.


7:45 AM. Waking up out of a deep sleep. Dreamed of chasing rabbits.


7:51 AM. The human is downstairs! Hello, human! Have any bunnies you need chasing? And we’re not talking dust bunnies here either. Though on a related note, there are some dust bunnies under the couch. 


7:55 AM. Wolfing down a delicious breakfast of kibbles. Yum yum yum!


8:01 AM. Say, human, how about letting me out? I’ve got a lot of energy to burn off right about now. 


8:08 AM. Running through the meadows. Barking for no reason. Lots of wildflowers to sniff at. Nice and warm. Unfortunately it hasn’t rained in four days, so we’re not likely to find a mud puddle to wallow in. The human wasn’t very happy with me last time I did that. I got subjected to the garden hose and the Towel of Torment.


8:23 AM. I stop short in the woods. Up ahead is a very familiar shape in black and white colours. A skunk. Okay, Loki, stay calm, give him lots of room, let him go by without any harassment, and you can still get through today without the need for a bath.


8:24 AM. Top of the morning to you, sir.... oh, madam, sorry, you all look alike when you’re approaching me. Not that I meant any offence! Believe me, I’m not an anti-skunkite. I’m just making it worse every single time I say anything else, aren’t I? Look, please don’t spray me, all right?


8:25 AM. The skunk goes on her way without incident. Boy, was that close.


8:45 AM. Stopping by to see Spike The Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels at his residence. As is custom, we sniff each other’s hindquarters in greetings. I have no idea why we do that, mind you.


8:47 AM. Spike and I confer on sightings of the enemy. We’ve both seen them up in trees, chattering on incessantly, hiding nuts everywhere. Squirrels are an absolute menace to the entire world, after all, and they must be always kept in check. That, fundamentally, is the great task remaining before all dogs.


8:51 AM. I brief Spike on my encounter with the skunk in the woods. He says it was a wise thing to give such creatures a wide berth. They do, after all, have a formidable weapon, which most dogs only require one bad experience to learn never to risk exposure to again.


9:03 AM. Spike and I part ways, agreeing to raise the alarm should we see any signs of the squirrels unleashing their Squirrelageddon plans.


9:15 AM. On my way home. I wonder what that cranky cat is up to today. Probably basking in a sun puddle. Well, now that I think about it... why not see for myself?


9:24 AM. Stopping by the cat’s property. Hey, there she is out on the deck. Fast asleep. I think I’ll go say hello.


9:25 AM. Stopping before the cat. She looks quite peaceful all asleep like that. It almost seems a shame to wake her up.


9:26 AM. I woof really loudly once. The cat springs up, looking thoroughly startled to be barked out of sleep. Deciding that discretion is the better part of valour, I turn tail and run. That cat can be fast when she’s angry...


9:38 AM. Back home. Hello, human! You’ll be happy to know I do not require a bath after a how do you do moment with a skunk this morning. I think I’ll have a nap. I’d better do it inside, though, in case that cat wants some revenge.


1:10 PM. Waking up out of nap. Oh, rats, I slept through lunch.


2:53 PM. Rolling around on the lawn for no reason. Life is good. Nothing could possibly go wrong now.


2:55 PM. My rolling around comes to an end when I suddenly see a black and white shape approaching me on the lawn. It’s that skunk. Hey, if this is about this morning, sometimes what I say gets ahead of what I’m thinking, so...


2:56 PM. The skunk turns, raises her tail, and gives me a blast of skunk spray. Then she walks away. Yuck!!!! What was that for?


3:01 PM. The human gets one whiff of me and frowns. Come on, human, I wasn’t even doing anything and that skunk sprayed me! Please don’t say I’m getting a bath out of this.


3:35 PM. Being subjected to a de-skunking bath with some special de-skunking shampoo and tomato juice added into the mix. For the fourth time in a half hour. This is humiliating...


3:58 PM. The human pronounces me as clean as I can be after seven bath cycles. I smell like soap and shampoo and tomato. Human, is this going to stain my fur red?


6:37 PM. Having dinner with the human.  She’s having spaghetti and meatballs. I must content myself with just the meatballs. She’s fairly certain that all the skunk smell is gone. Okay, human, I learned my lesson the first time I got skunked. Leave skunks alone. Having had this done to me twice, I’ll high tail it back home anytime I even see those stinky buggers.


11:51 PM. The human is off to bed. I think I’ll sleep down here tonight. It’s been a long day.

You know, I find myself wondering if waking up the cat like that this morning came back to bite me....



17 comments:

  1. Oh dear me that deskunking sounds horrible. I've heard peanut butter helps too.

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  2. Oh My Goodness !
    Every photo is a gem. Love the Grand Canyon one, beyond cute !
    All the Scotties today, Thank You !

    cheers, parsnip

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  3. That was GREAT, loved it. Took me awhile to find the fake one with the stuffed animals.

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  4. I like the cow herding the doggie!

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  5. @Lynn: that meme really is versatile!

    @Eve: well, after what the dog did to the cat, he had karma coming back to him.

    @Jane and Chris: in more than one way!

    @Parsnip: you're welcome!

    @Norma: that one was too cute.

    @Whisk: that one does blend in well.

    @Cheryl: thanks!

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  6. HAHAHAHAHAH!!

    Ice bucket challenge drowned rat looks just like my Biscuit after she's had a bath. :)

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  7. Smiled all the way through it.

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  8. The pug in the ugg had me laughing out loud! Fun post, though dogs and skunks are the worst!

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  9. I forgot to comment that I have to look at all the photos first and then read the story. I can't do both at the same time. Two funnies at the same time mess with my poor brain.
    Personally I think the cat deserved the wake up woof.
    The dog tries to be friends but the cat is way to arrogant.
    I don't think the dog deserved the backlash. The cat did !
    Bad cat, gud dug !

    cheers, parsnip

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  10. The ice bucket challenge, that's just great.

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  11. @Diane: poor Biscuit!

    @Mari: thanks!

    @Meradeth: given his mischief earlier in the day, the dog had it coming!

    @Parsnip: awww, I'm on the cat's side!

    @Kelly: thanks!

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  12. Well that OK 1 to 1
    but since your the story writer.... it is about 100 to 1.
    I like the goofy dog a lot ! He is a hoot.

    cheers, parsnip

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  13. That was quite an eventful day for the dog.
    Loved the pictures!

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  14. At least dogs have sense not to listen to Miley Cyrus.

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