Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, September 15, 2014

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

Some links before we get ourselves underway for the day. Yesterday was a Snippet Sunday, and we had a post at our joint blog. Eve had one of her dogs resorting to desperate measures. Whisk had a poor bastard at her blog. And Mark had a fanfic crossover at his page.

Now then, it's time once again for my regular dog and cat blogs, featuring as usual, my dog's point of view first. Enjoy!

7:45 AM. Waking up. Dreamed of finding Bonehenge. All those giant bones, so much time to chew.... where’s the human?

7:47 AM. Looking outside. Hey, wait a minute.... is that frost on the grass?

7:50 AM. Waiting impatiently for the human. I must inspect this for myself. After breakfast, mind you. A dog must be full of energy and ready to get going before actually going.

8:03 AM. Good morning, human! Have you had a chance to look outside yet? Isn’t it a little too early for us to be having frost? What do you think? By the way, do you suppose we could do something about breakfast? I’m feeling a wee bit peckish. 

8:05 AM. Just finished wolfing down breakfast. A bit slow today. Fifteen seconds off my all time fastest finishing of breakfast ever. I’ll break that record again sooner or later...

8:07 AM. Barking to be let out. The human tells me to behave myself and come back soon. Human, when have I not behaved myself?

Don’t answer that.

8:09 AM. Sniffing with great curiousity at the frost coating the grass. Now who on earth authorized this? It’s still technically summer, isn’t it?

Time for a run.

8:25 AM. Running like a lunatic through the back fields, barking my head off. 

8:32 AM. In the woods. I pass by the house where that cranky cat lives. Hey, well there she is in the back yard. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to bridge that gap between us, or are we doomed to remain in a state of tension forever? Hello, cat! It is me, Loki the dog! How are you on this frosty day?

8:33 AM. She’s approaching! Perhaps this time we can finally come to an understanding and be civil with each other in the interests of world peace? Tell me, what do you think of all this frost? A bit early for it all, don’t you think?

8:34 AM. She hisses her disapproval and disdain for me. Oh, now come on, why can’t we be friends?

8:35 AM. The cat walks away in a huff. I really do not understand what purposes cats have in this life.

9:05 AM. Stopping in to see Spike The Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. Hello there, Spike! Cool day, isn’t it?

9:07 AM. Spike and I compare notes on the frost this morning, and he reminds me there was snow in Alberta just a few days ago. Yes, technically it might be summer, but it doesn’t feel like it.

9:09 AM. Spike and I confer on the movements of the enemy. They’ll be busy gathering acorns and nuts and being their annoying squirrel selves to no end. Nefarious and vile creatures, the whole lot of them. Well, I’d better get back, Spike, my human might need supervision. Or someone to give treats to.

9:20 AM. Back home. Hello there, human! I see the frost is wearing off. I think I’m about due for a nap.

11:55 AM. Waking up from nap. Hearing sounds from kitchen. Lunch time! Just in time to mooch something or another.

12:05 PM. I use my sad eyes trick to get the human to give me some dinner rolls. Yum yum yum!

2:10 PM. In the living room, going through the farmer’s almanac. For some strange reason, the people who write this stuff are saying it’s going to be a very long, very cold, very snowy winter. How can they predict months of weather when those silly forecasters on television can’t get anything past the next six hours right?

4:50 PM. Waking up from nap with all four legs in the air. Hmmm, when I fell asleep, I was in a sun puddle. Now I’m not. Did I sleep that long?

6:05 PM. Watching the human making supper. If I play my cards right, I might get something out of the bargain. Emphasize the ability to show off sad eyes, Loki, they’ll do you right every time.

6:30 PM. The human and I are having supper. She’s given me a bowl of beef strips. Yum yum yum! She, on the other hand, is having a beef stew with lots of other stuff added in. I would get stew, but she seems to think I’d end up making a mess. Come on, human! Honestly, how long are you going to hold the spaghetti incident against me?

7:45 PM. The human’s watching Jeopardy and answering most of the questions. Why don’t they have categories like Chasing Tails, Evil Veterinarians, and Panting Tongues?

9:05 PM. Musing on the meaning of the tail wag. Is it true that the wag was first invented by Benjamin Franklin’s dog?

11:00 PM. National news is on. Serious looking anchor tells us something about a polar vortex coming. The human sighs in dismay. Does this mean we’re going to have frost tomorrow?

11:40 PM. The human is off to bed. Good night, human! Just in case the really strange happens and we wake up to four feet of snow in the morning, have you had the natural gas tanks filled? Because if we’re not getting out until spring, we’re going to need it!


  1. awwwwwwwwww poor little bad puppy.

    I so look forward to this post. You find the best photos and comics.

    If that is true about the Farmers Almanac I am sure you are very happy.

    cheers, parsnip

  2. All was going swimmingly until you mentioned polar vortex.
    Jane x

  3. The Farmer's Almanac said WHAT????

    I like the storyteller kitty!

  4. "The awkward moment where a girl is crying on your shoulder and you don't know what to say" cracked me up!

  5. You do find the best pictures to go with your doggy and cat tales William :)

  6. Hi William, I thought I would come over and look at this blog. So glad I did. I adored this post and thank you for loads of chuckles.

  7. @Parsnip: that would be my dream winter!

    @Jane and Chris: polar vortexes are good things!

    @Norma: and they're far more accurate than the panicking idiot on television.

    @Cheryl: too cute to stay mad at!

    @Kelly: yes, the expression is priceless.

    @Grace: thank you!

    @Denise: thanks for coming on over!

  8. These are great fun.

    Thanks for the shout out.

    PS: I very nearly turned the heat on this morning.

  9. The hard frost we had here last week was definitely not appreciated. Winter can wait a good long while! :)

  10. Loved that first dog and also the last one. I don't blame him for not appreciating frost.

  11. Awe this is too cute. And dog has a name? Loki? How did I miss that? Sounds like it might be cold up there this winter but hug a dog when you can. It's 109 here today and I don't want to hug a dog. LOL Thanks for the mention. You are the best!

  12. @Whisk: I've thought about the heat first thing in the morning, but not yet.

    @Meradeth: I suspect it'll be early.

    @Mari: my dog doesn't know what to make of it!

    @Eve: I decided on Loki awhile back. It seemed to fit him. I have used a title for the cat, but haven't really decided on a name she calls herself. Her staff has a name for her, but she doesn't like it.

  13. I will definitely have to post my ferrets on my blog. You'll have some fun with those I'm sure!! lol


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