Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

Before I get started on the first of two dog and cat blogs, some links to see to. Check out Norma's blog for a look at God's sense of humour. Check out this cauliflower recipe by Krisztina. And check out Maria's post on some baseball history.

7:25 AM. Waking up. Dreamed of chasing a cat up a tree. For some reason, the cat was unhappy.

7:30 AM. Looking out the front window. No sign of that annoying squirrel. Still lots of snow in the yard. And the snow keeps falling. I wonder if winter's ever going to end.

7:40 AM. Good morning, human! How are you today? Have you seen all the snow?

7:50 AM. The human feeds me breakfast. Yum yum yum yum! I love kibbles!

7:51 AM. Feeling full and satisfied. Time to go on my first stroll of the day, human.

8:05 AM. Running through the backfields, barking my head off. I'm a bit hindered by the depth of the snow.

The human has mentioned a few times in the last few days about doubting spring will ever come.

8:30 AM. Wait a minute... what's that? 

It's that annoying squirrel!!!!

8:31 AM. Barking my head off in full pursuit of my hated enemy.

Unfortunately the annoying squirrel makes it up onto a tree branch.

8:35 AM. The annoying squirrel is staring down at me, chattering like a lunatic. He's taunting me.

Damn you, squirrel! Damn you!

9:05 AM. Have been pacing around the tree for a half hour. The hated enemy is still laughing at me.

One of these days, squirrel, you're going to get yours. You hear me? You're going to get yours!

9:25 AM. Stopping by to see Spike The Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels, at his place. I relay my contact report with one of the enemy. We discuss the prospect of unleashing a spring offensive.

9:30 AM. Well, see you later, Spike. I have to get back home. I might be able to mooch something from the human.

9:55 AM. Returning home. The human opens the door for me. Hello, human! Is the fireplace burning? I could really use that to dry off...

9:56 AM. The human catches me before I can get further into the house and applies the Towel of Torment to dry off all the snow in my fur.

Come on, human!

12:35 PM. Waking up from a nap. Hey, did I miss lunch?

12:38 PM. No trace of the human. Her coat and boots are gone. So is her purse. Did she go out for a drive without telling me?

1:10 PM. Well, I suppose she's not going to be back anytime soon, so I'd better do something else with my time. I wonder what's on television...

1:15 PM. Hey, Animal Planet has a dog show from England on. Now this I can enjoy!

1:20 PM. Look at that cocker spaniel. She's all attitude and sass. I like sass. I wonder why her human insists on adding ribbons to her fur.

1:40 PM. You know, I've always wondered with these shows why it is that the humans have to trot so quickly with their dog down the length of the hall. Why can't the dog have a chance to go wandering about and sniffing?

1:55 PM.  Those humans the host calls judges seem way too serious. They need a good doggie lick.

2:20 PM. It occurs to me that you'll never see a best in show sort of thing involving cats. 

2:45 PM. That Pomeranian wins top prize. That's not fair! The cocker spaniel looks much cuter!

3:40 PM. The human returns home. She's got groceries. Oh, goody goody goody. I wonder if she picked up cookies.

4:05 PM. The human has finished putting away all the groceries. She looks at me while I'm sitting patiently in the kitchen watching her. Finally she opens the cookie jar and gives me two oatmeal cookies.

Yum yum yum! I love you, human!

11:15 PM. The human is watching the late news. All sorts of bad things. You know, human, it would be much more interesting if the news broadcasts the result of those dog shows. Wouldn't that make everyone happier?


  1. That damn squirrel :) Adore the 'Pugfather' .. also I really enjoyed the movie 'Best in Show' a real funny eyeopener :)

  2. Wow, Jesus backwards really does sound like sausage. Who knew?

  3. Love the Pugfather! (Okay, I just really love pugs....)

  4. Oh, that Johann Sebastian Bark!

    And I always wonder why the dogs at dog shows can't walk instead of run!

  5. Cats in the obedience portion of a show?
    Jane x

  6. Hey, thanks for the link! One of these days I'll have to send you pics for a day in the life of Emma. Though she spends most of her time sleeping and trying to steal people food.

  7. John Sebastian Bark has my vote.

  8. @Grace: one of these days, the squirrel will get what's coming to him!

    @Kelly: yes, who'd have thought it possible?

    @Norma: pugs are cute!

    @Cheryl: there are too many rules at dog shows!

    @Jane and Chris: that's simply impossible!

    @Krisztina: why am I not surprised?

    @Mari: isn't he cute?

  9. I really want that puppy corgi. So cute! And I've always kind of wondered what the dogs thought of the dog shows, I mean it just looks a bit awkward for both the human and the dog...

  10. Oh gawd, what a series! I found myself giggling more than once. Thanks for the good fun.

  11. Thanks for making laugh today;). I'm with the human, I'm starting to doubt spring will ever come!

  12. Thanks for sharing these. I needed some doggie photos this afternoon. Fun end to a rather busy day!

    The English bulldogs are always my favorite. :)

  13. A dog can chase that squirrel in my neighbor's tree whenever it wants! Despite creative rock arrangements, that miserable squirrel wiped out my tulip bulbs! Hmm, think I have Post Traumatic Squirrel Syndrome! :))))

  14. Jesus backwards sounds like sausage! Funny, funny. And we do need more animal shows on TV.

  15. @Meradeth: very awkward indeed!

    @Nathalie: thank you!

    @Maria: hopefully spring stays away!

    @Diane: they're one of my favourite breeds.

    @Kittie: sounds like a squirrel I've known...

    @Lynn: isn't the corgi cute?

    @Shelly: yes we do!

  16. Have you seen the video going around Facebook about two dogs and a nice cream cone? How about the one where the dog imitates the baby?

  17. Sorry, missed the follow-up button.


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