A Day In The Life Of A Cat

Some links to see to before we get started. Norma has a theory about The Blacklist. AngryParsnip has the Square Dogs on the loose. Country Gal wonders if this is an early sign of spring. And since today we've got ourselves a cat blog to contend with, two kitty links. Audrey has new feline roommates. And Fleur has flowers in the house.

7:35 AM. Waking up. Big stretch. The staff is in the kitchen. Is this one of her work days?

7:40 AM. Looking in on the staff. She's busy putting together her breakfast. I meow to her. It is both a greeting and a demand for my own breakfast. And it had better be something tasty.

7:42 AM. The staff lives down to my expectations and gives me field rations. Oh, for the love of Isis...

7:50 AM. The staff gives me a scratch behind the ears on her way out the door. I expect something tastier for dinner, staff.

8:10 AM. After some reluctance, I go to the kitchen and have some field rations.

One of these days, I'll just have to find a way to get the staff to stop buying kibbles. This stuff isn't fit for a dog.

8:40 AM. Sitting at one of the windows, staring out into the snow. Somewhere out there I can hear the barking of that annoying mutt from down the road. I can't stand that dog...

9:30 AM. I pass by the scratching post. I pause, momentarily catching the slight trace of catnip on it.

Even that is enough to send me into a full all out catnip attack.

9:32 AM. Clawing and slashing at the scratching post, driven nutty by traces of catnip. 

9:50 AM. The catnip insanity seems to now be passing. Boy, do I feel tired...

12:25 PM. Waking up from a long nap by the fireplace. I feel quite well rested.

12:30 PM. Staring out the window. Snow falling. I wonder if the staff will be able to get home tonight if this keeps up.

1:05 PM. Feeling bored. I think I'll watch some television.

1:20 PM. Dogs on parade? What's the world coming to when we have televised dog shows?

1:35 PM. Why are you people applauding? That's a dog! Just look at him! He's an idiot!

1:45 PM. Closeup on a St. Bernard. I can see a mouthful of drool. And a dull witted look in his eyes. Of course, all dogs are dull witted.

You know, you could drown in that much drool.

2:05 PM. Those dogs just look silly prancing around like that. You wouldn't catch a cat ever doing that. But no, dogs will do anything for approval.

2:30 PM. They could have just named this thing Idiots On Parade. It certainly isn't a Best In Show, not with dogs involved...

2:45 PM. For some reason, a Pomeranian is chosen as a winner. 

A winner? It's a dog, people! Dogs aren't winners!

2:55 PM. Those human hosts are much too cheerful, surrounded by all those dogs.

They need to get swatted by a feline set of claws, just to remind them of their place.

5:25 PM. The staff returns home. Well, hello, staff. I wasted a couple of hours being perplexed by human fondness for dogs. I want you to post a letter to Animal Planet expressing my outrage that they would air a dog show.

5:50 PM. The staff is making dinner. It smells like blueberry and bacon pancakes. That would make up for field rations for breakfast.

6:20 PM. The staff and I settle down to dinner. She has been considerate enough to put a plate of pancakes for me, nicely cut up into bite sized portions. And a good bowl of milk.

Staff, if I could only get you to make better breakfasts, that would please me greatly...

7:40 PM. Sitting with the staff on the couch. She's reading a magazine. I decide to step onto her lap and the magazine. The staff doesn't seem too impressed with me, until I start to purr. Then I've got her right where I want her.

9:10 PM. The staff checks the weather forecast. More snow coming tomorrow. I guess you'll just have to stay home tomorrow and cater to my every whim.

11:20 PM. The staff seems to be getting ready to go off to bed. Well, that's what you get for not taking three hour naps in the day. You're more tired this time of day.

12:10 AM. Stepping into the bedroom. The staff is asleep under the covers. I get up on the mattress and settle in on her lower legs for the night. I wonder if she'll wake up in the morning with legs that have gone to sleep....