Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Saturday, December 3, 2011

So Maybe Cats Can't Stalk Everything That Walks The Earth

Today I return to the realm of our masters and mistresses, that particular ultimate life form on the planet known as the cat. I've blogged about them before, and no doubt will do so again (there's so much fodder on the net to work with!).

I've previously established that they are, of course, the highest form of life on the planet. The wise among us lowly human beings accept this as literal fact. Others deny such a premise (Dad, I'm talking about you). Let them continue to delude themselves with that.

As I've said before, it's been my privilege to be part of the household staff for feline overlords for much of my life. Though I don't have the honour of doing so at the moment, there are plenty of cats in my area. If I meet one out on their morning rounds, I'll always show proper deference to them. It's the least any of us can do for our supreme overlords, after all.

My parents have had a couple of cats in recent years while living in Ontario's cottage country, both of them related, both black and white cats. Pandora and Dakota have been known to climb outside brick walls, stay out until all hours, make use of the nearest human being as some very handy furniture, and stalk white tailed deer. Yes, they stalked deer. I've watched it happen. The deer will be out on the lawn, nibbling on the grass, and the cat starts to approach slowly, crouched low, just like the lions in those nature documentaries when they're after an antelope. The cat gets closer and closer until the deer finally has enough of the game, stomps at the ground or gives a snort. The cat gets up and walks away in a very dignified way, as if to say look how close I got to the deer this time!

There are limits, of course, to what they'll stalk. Some years ago I remember sitting out in the gazebo one afternoon reading a book, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a black and white blur sprint down the driveway and up onto the deck of the house, scurrying up the wall to the second floor balcony. I wondered what had the cat in such a state.

Then I saw a large black bear lumber its way down the driveway, not even noticing me, mind you. The bear crossed past the house, and went off to the woods beyond.  As far as he was concerned, the cat wasn't worth the bother of chasing. It was nothing more then a chance encounter while he was out for an afternoon stroll.

For the cat, however... that thing was just a little too big to stalk.

We're privileged to share the planet with the ultimate form of life ever devised. Cats treat us with disdain and disinterest, knowing full well that they have us wrapped around their paw....

Now, while you've been reading this, the cat has succeeded in undoing that whole ball of yarn and scattering it all over your house, Yes, through the stairway banister, around the table, around each leg of your chairs, through the kitchen, and into your linen closet. Good luck getting it back into a ball!


  1. I knew you'd write about Pandora and Dakota sooner or later!

    You write about cats with such love and is it no cats have snapped you up as their slave currently?

    Love the blog, partner!

  2. What a joy to read. I have almost always served resident cats, but for a (brief?) hiatus the past few years. Our human family is once again proudly employed by the feline class: two Siamese kittens. My children's laughter rings through the house as they play with the cats.

  3. Very cute post. Of course living out here in the middle of nowhere I don't really think an animal that ignores me would make a logical choice for a pet. :)

  4. Next blog is going to be the dog's turn!

  5. LOl! I can just picture a cat creeping up on a deer, as if it could totally take one down! I love how cats think so highly of themselves. And who doesn't love a cute kitty nap pic.:)
    I wish I still had a cat. I nearly cry when I think of some of the cats I've lost over the years.

  6. This was an entertaining start to my Sunday morning, thank you! I'll soon be moving into a house run by feline overlords and very much looking forward to it :)

  7. My daughter's cat did something very unpleasant on my new suit the other day, so unfortunately I can't feel the same way about them. However I was rather impressed at the way it took on the local dog fox last week. Perhaps buoyed with new energy after she'd stolen the sandwiches I'd just made for work.

  8. Very funny! We had Boo Kitty. She thought she was the mother ofmy girls. When I'd scold them she get between us. When they did something she didn't approve of she'd find something that belonged to them and pee on it.

  9. I've posted on my blog about Newton and Dodgey...the two members of our household that know where the best seats in the house are. Dodgey looks like a brown version of that fat cat that that woman is carrying above...cute as a button! Newton is my runner and my player of little pompom balls, hair elastics, barettes, ear plugs, and anything shiny...

    Cats are the Master's of this earth...they know how to make us do anything...! Great blog, William!!!

  10. Oh I love cats! I have two! Great photos and great post!

  11. My favourite fridge magnet says: "you've never been ignored until you've been ignored by a cat".

    So true!

    Take care

  12. Love the stalking cats- wild yet dignified. And deigning to allow a mere human to observe. Fun post, William!

  13. I'm thinking my terror kitties are plotting to take over. Actually, Padme is plotting. Obi-Wan is just following her because he doesn't have a brain of his own.


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