A Day In The Life Of A Cat

And since the cat must always have the last word, here we have her point of view...

7:21 AM. Slowly waking up at home. Big stretch. Yawn to start off the day. Slept well. 

7:23 AM. Staring out the window at the vastness of my domain. Hmmm, the vastness of my domain looks decidedly smaller today. Snowing so much I can’t even see the back of the yard. Now, this could be a good thing. If the roads are bad, that might well mean that my staff won’t be able to get out to her work today. Which means she can spoil me rotten all day.

7:26 AM. The staff comes downstairs. Well, hello, staff, have you had a look outside? Just between you and I, I don’t think that car of yours is getting anywhere today.

7:29 AM. The staff is on the phone to someone. Chattering about road conditions and closed highways. Oh, that sounds good. With one caveat: it’s not good if we’re low on food in the house.

7:31 AM. I have just been informed by the staff that she’s staying home today. Oh, good! This means you can spoil me rotten all day long and give me treats and belly rubs, but only so many belly rubs at any one time, because one time too many and I go into attack mode.

7:35 AM. The staff has provided me with breakfast. I approve of the milk and tuna. I am baffled as to why she insists on providing me with field rations. 

7:38 AM. Have finished the milk and tuna. Have left the field rations alone. Perhaps the staff will take the hint.

7:43 AM. Watching the staff making her breakfast. I smell bacon.

7:47 AM. I have stared the staff into submission, and she has placed a strip of bacon down on a plate for me. Very nicely done, staff.

7:55 AM. Sitting on the back of the sofa. Staring out at the falling snow. Somewhere out there I can hear the barking of that annoying dog. Well, as long as he stays away from my property...

8:03 AM. The staff has the Weather Channel on. The forecaster looks terrified. Look, you silly person, it’s only a normal winter. Snow happens. Stop acting like you’re quaking in your boots. It’s so undignified of you.

8:11 AM. Okay, staff, now that you’ve turned off the Weather Channel, it’s time for you to spend the rest of the day spoiling me rotten.

8:15 AM. Dismayed as to why the staff has gone into her study and is now working at her computer. Wait a minute... work from home? Who said you could work from home? I know I certainly didn’t!

8:29 AM. Okay. So she’s taking this whole working from home seriously. This displeases me. Oh well, I’ll just head off and take a nap. Oh, sure, it’s only been an hour since I woke up, but as I always say, there’s no such thing as too many naps. A nap sounds like just the right solution to a serious bout of dismay with the staff.

10:56 AM. Waking up from my nap. Feeling refreshed. Revitalized. And a bit peckish.

11:01 AM. With much reluctance, I help myself to some of those field rations.

11:07 AM. Checking on with the staff. Oh, come on, you’re still working? Where’s a power outage when I need one?

12:12 PM. The staff is having her lunch. I have had some cheese slices as a treat, but am now occupying myself with head bonks to her legs to reinforce my insistence that she blow off this whole work thing for the rest of the day and start spoiling me. What good is a snow day if you’re not taking advantage of it?

12:38 PM. And lo and behold, the staff returns to doing that work thing. You know, staff, this is not how I envisioned you having a snow day.

3:44 PM. Waking up from my latest nap. Looking outside. Well, well, well, the snow really is piling up. Maybe the staff will have another snow day tomorrow, and this time she can do it right. Namely by not working.

4:06 PM. The staff comes into the living room and gives me a belly rub. Well, it’s about time. Finished with all that work stuff, are we?

4:19 PM. The staff is busy petting me. Oh, yeah, right there, behind the ear...

5:37 PM. Supervising the staff while she makes dinner. Everything smells good.

6:13 PM. Dinner with the staff. Tonight she’s having shepherd’s pie. I am forgoing all the extra ingredients in favour of the ground beef she’s placed in my bowl. Very nice, staff, and could it be that much of a bother to put this in my bowl every day?

8:26 PM. Watching the Weather Channel with the staff. The evening forecaster looks out of his mind as he predicts by this time tomorrow, people may have to resort to cannibalism to survive the blizzard. Staff? Are all forecasters this unhinged?

11:28 PM. The staff is off to bed. Well, good night, staff. Don’t close the door, because odds are I’ll be in a full blown sprint through the house mode around four AM. And by the way? If the roads are closed again tomorrow, you are totally going to spoil me rotten all day long. None of this work thing getting in our way again, are we clear?

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

It is time again for the point of view of the dog and the cat, starting, as always, with the dog's perspective on things...

7:23 AM. Waking up at home. Dreamed of chasing the mailman up a tree.

7:25 AM. Looking outside. Snow falling. Looks like a lot of it. This is a good thing. If it keeps the mailman away for the day, that’s not really a bad thing. On the one hand, I’ll be deprived of the chance to bark up a storm at him. On the other, it means I won’t have to see him.

7:27 AM. It occurs to me, looking at all that snow, that it might not be possible for me to go off on my usual morning run.

7:32 AM. The human comes downstairs. Well, hello, human! Did you see all that snow out there? Say, have you put any thought into breakfast? Because just between us, I’m a wee bit peckish. I haven’t had a bite to eat since that slice of pizza last night. Oh, wait, you didn’t see me snatch that.

7:36 AM. Wolfing down a big bowl of kibbles. Yum yum yum!

7:41 AM. Say, human? How about we open the door? I’d like to go out and explore a bit. Not my usual jaunt. The snow’s falling heavy enough that I can’t see the fence line out there, so I’d better err on the side of caution.

7:44 AM. Sniffing around in the yard. I suspect that annoying squirrel is staying in quarters today. 

7:52 AM. Rolling around in the snow. Thoroughly happy. I probably look a mess right now, but that’s a good thing.

7:55 AM. Barking a call out into the snow. This is probably as much communication as I’ll have with my associate down the road all day. Spike The Magnificent, Tormentor Of Squirrels, replies back. Yes, it’s as snowy there as it is here.

8:00 AM. The human calls me back inside. Oh, come on! Just five more minutes!

8:01 AM. Okay, two minutes! Two! I’ll be inside in two minutes!

8:02 AM. Oh, come on, human! You and I both know that time is a relative thing, right? Your definition of right now might not mesh with my version of right now.

8:03 AM. Coming in. Probably the right thing to do, because if I annoy her, it might mean I don’t get to mooch food at lunch.

8:04 AM. Being subjected to the Towel Of Torment. Come on, human, as I have told you many times, I am perfectly happy drying off natural by the fireplace. And there is nothing at all wrong with the smell of a wet dog.

8:12 AM. Settling in for a snooze by the fireplace. Oh, sure, I haven’t even been awake for an hour, but there’s nothing wrong with stockpiling naps.

11:37 AM. Waking up. Checking the clock. Oh, good, the chances of the human having had already eaten lunch are minimal.

11:40 AM. Looking outside. Wow! That’s a whole lot more snow!

12:03 PM. I have successfully convinced the human to give me a dinner roll. Yum yum yum!

1:09 PM. A quick glance at the clock. Then a look outside at the road. If that awful mailman is showing up today, it should be sometime in the next hour... but from the state of that road, that’s not likely. Who knows? Maybe if he did get out this morning, his car’s now buried underneath an avalanche. That’s better than he deserves, if you ask me, and of course you are asking me.

2:26 PM. Well, if that malevolent mailman was ever going to be here today, he’d have already been here, so there’ll be no sign of him. So much the better. Time for another nap.

4:31 PM. Waking up. Slept well. Dreamed of attending the funeral of that mailman.

6:02 PM. Six o’clock local news on. Coverage of the big bad snow storm. Lots of school cancelations and building closures. Lots more snow to come. I wonder why people think that’s a bad thing. It’s only a bad thing if we’ve run out of dog treats and are snowed in.

6:38 PM. Dinner with the human. Bacon pancakes definitely hit the spot!

6:54 PM. Supervising the human while she does the dishes. I’d help, you know, but there’s that whole thing about my not having opposable thumbs and thus dropping dishes. Besides, we both know you’d use a Towel Of Torment on me anyway, am I right?

8:05 PM. The human has the Weather Channel on. The meteorologist looks like he’s in a panic as he prattles on about snowfall amounts and road closings. You know, I think he needs a belly rub. That would make him feel better.

11:39 PM. The human is off to bed. Well, good night, human! Hopefully the power holds out. That can be a problem in blizzard situations like the one we’re in. Just as big a problem? If the power goes out and we’re all out of dog treats. Have you thought about that lately?