A Day In The Life Of A Cat

And as always with these, the cat must have the last word in all things.

7:00 AM. Waking up. Taking a big stretch. Slept well. Dreamed of wandering through acres of catnip.

7:04 AM. An inspection of the exterior from the back of the couch notes the presence of flying lunches pecking around on the grass. If I was out there right now, you wouldn't feel so comfortable.

7:12 AM. Waiting patiently on the staff to get downstairs and see to making my breakfast. After all, catering to my needs and whims is part of her entire role in the world.

7:20 AM. The staff finally comes downstairs. It's about time, staff, I was this close to sending out a search party.

7:21 AM. Making my orders clear in regards to breakfast with the staff. Now then, staff, how many times must I remind you that I am not in favour of field rations? This is a big thing that you seem to be missing out on. 

7:23 AM. The staff puts down a bowl of milk and a plate of chicken for me. And a bowl of field rations.

The things I put up with....

7:25 AM. Finished with breakfast. The milk and chicken were to my satisfaction. I have ignored the field rations entirely. I shall leave my staff to have her breakfast in peace.

7:28 AM. Sitting on the back of the couch, staring outside. Somewhere off in the distance, I can hear the deranged barking of that foul mutt from down the road.

7:35 AM. The staff is on her way out the door to go to that work place she persists in going to. Farewell, staff. Don't forget the milk on your way home.

7:37 AM. The staff has left the property in the car. I have myself to amuse for the time being.

8:01 AM. Watching the Weather Channel. They're advising that a thunder storm will blow through here in the night. Good. I like thunder.

8:10 AM. Seeing as how I've already been up for a whole hour, it is time, I think, to take a well earned nap.

10:45 AM. Sharpening my nails on the scratching post.

11:56 AM. Feeling a bit peckish. Let's see what there is to eat. Off to the kitchen.

11:57 AM. Oh, right. Just field rations left out in the open. Damn.

12:00 PM. Despite my reservations, I had some of the field rations to tide me over.

1:31 PM. Looking out the front windows. The mailman is dropping off stuff at the box and driving away.

I wonder how much that idiot dog down the road barked at him.

5:22 PM. The staff comes home. Well, staff, did you remember the milk?

6:28 PM. Dinner with the staff. She has cut up some steak for me. For whatever reason, she insists on having hers with vegetables. To each their own.

8:21 PM. A loud clap of thunder outside. Let the games begin.

9:45 PM Watching the storm outside from the back of the couch. This is oddly soothing.

11:27 PM. The staff is off to bed. Good night, staff. Sleep well. But keep the bedroom door open. I need to be walking on top of you in three hours.