A Day In The Life Of A Cat

And so it is time for the cat to have her say, what with her always having to have the last word.

7:04 AM. Waking up at home A yawn and a stretch to get things started. Slept well. Dreamed of endless fields of catnip.

7:08 AM. Sitting on the back of the couch, examining the exterior. Flying lunches pecking away at the ground. If I was outside instead of inside, you'd be in trouble. However, this is the weekend, and my staff is home. And I'll be outside soon enough.

7:12 AM. Waiting on the staff to get downstairs. Come on, staff, weekend or not, you are still on a schedule, and I'm expecting my breakfast soon.

7:16 AM. Sitting at the bottom of the steps meowing the song of my people as a hint for her to get going.

7:22 AM. The staff finally comes downstairs. Took you long enough, staff, I've been waiting for what felt like hours.

7:24 AM. The staff is busy making my breakfast. I am busy explaining my precise wants and needs. Now then, staff, would it kill you to not pour a bowl of field rations? We've had this discussion. You know I don't like them.

7:26 AM. The staff puts my breakfast down. The bowl of milk and plate of tuna meet with my approval. The bowl of field rations does not. I shall ignore the third with all of my kitty essence.

7:28 AM. Finished with my breakfast. I shall leave the staff to make hers in peace and quiet.

7:35 AM. Sitting on the back of the couch, staring outside. Somewhere in the distance I can hear the incessant barking of that foul hound.

7:52 AM. Making inquiries with the staff about letting me outside for awhile.

7:54 AM. The staff lets me out. Now then, staff, even though it's the weekend, you're only to depart the property with my permission. Catering to my whims is your priorities on the weekend. So I'd better not come back to the door and see the car gone, are we clear?

8:09 AM. Stalking a squirrel.... turns into a chase as the little bastard has seen me and is going up a tree.

8:10 AM. Making an assessment of the situation. The squirrel is up on a branch that's simply too thin for me. If that damned dog were here, he'd be barking up a storm right now. 

But I'm not that damned dog. I'm a cat.

8:14 AM. Well, that's enough of this. I think it's time to go back in.

8:15 AM. Starting to move. Hmmm, feels like someone's watching me....

8:16 AM. In a furious mood after that idiot mutt barked at me from behind me and startled me. Chasing him back towards the woods. He's laughing and I'm howling at him.

8:18 AM. Issuing all sorts of curses and insults into the woods. I know that damned dog is still out there in ear shot. 

One of these days, dog, one of these days....

8:21 AM. Let in by the staff. In a foul mood. 

Staff? I hate dogs.

10:48 AM. Waking up from a nap. Time to go pester the staff.

10:50 AM. The staff was working at her laptop. Emphasis on was. I am now head-bonking her chin and walking around on her desk as an indication of why she should pay attention to me instead.

6:12 PM. Dinner with the staff. She's made herself some meat loaf with potatoes. She's kindly cut up some slices of meat loaf for me. Very good, staff, very good indeed.

8:29 PM. Pondering the great mysteries of existence. Which cat came up with the concept of string theory?

11:47 PM. The staff is off to bed. Good night, staff. Sleep well.

Keep the door open. I have every intention of walking all over you in two hours.