Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Tuesday, October 17, 2023

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

It is time once again for the perspective of the dog and the cat. As always, the dog gets the first word in with these, because his attention span is so short.

7:06 AM. Waking up at home. Big yawn. Slept very well indeed. Dreamed of chasing squirrels. 

7:08 AM. A look outside. The sun's not quite up, but close enough. I can see birds pecking around out there. Looks like we had frost in the night.

Looking forward to getting out there for a well deserved run. But first things first. We must have breakfast seen to. And for that, we'll need the assistance of the human.

7:16 AM. The human comes downstairs. I begin furiously thumping my tail in greetings. Good morning, human! Fine day, isn't it? The sort of day where a good run is called for. But priorities being what they are, have you thought of my breakfast yet? Just saying....

7:18 AM. Watching the human as she gets my breakfast together, pouring a big bowl of kibbles....

Oh boy oh boy oh boy.....

7:19 AM. Have finished off my breakfast, seven seconds shy of my all time fastest consumption of breakfast. 

That was good!

7:22 AM. Making inquiries with the human as to if she'll let me out for my run. 

7:23 AM. Out the back door and on my way. See you later, human!!!

7:36 AM. Running through the back fields, barking my head off, as happy as I can be.

7:58 AM. Stopping in to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. Hey, Spike!

7:59 AM. After the customary doggie greetings, Spike and I get to talking about the pressing matters of the day. The schemes of the squirrels. The hidden society of the mailmen. Kibble-gate.

8:03 AM. Spike reminds me that Hallowe'en is happening later this month. I know, Spike. the human's already been decorating. No jack o'lanterns yet, but that'll be coming. What is the point to mangling a pumpkin anyway?

8:09 AM. Spike and I part ways. He says he'll alert me when the mailman stops at his place later on.

One of these days, Spike, he'll slip up, and when he does, we'll get him.

8:21 AM. Strolling through the woods, on my way home. Come across the creek. To play in the water or not play in the water, that is the question....

Oh, it's not even a question. Let's splash around.

8:28 AM. A good shake of the fur after splashing around in the creek. Well, the human can't say I'm not clean.

8:40 AM. Barking at the back door. Human! It is I! Loki, Annoyer of Mailmen and Chewer of Slippers! Let me in!

8:42 AM. The human intercepts me before I can sprint inside and subjects me to the Towel of Torment.

Come on, human! Will you stop spreading the wet dog smell myth?

8:44 AM. The human has finished towelling me off. I proceed into the living room, where she's thoughtfully put on a fire in the fireplace. Time to lie down for awhile. I've had quite a run.

10:28 AM. Woken up out of a good nap by the sound of the cookie jar. Going into the kitchen to mooch a cookie off the human, who's having some coffee.

Oatmeal cookies always taste good after a nap.

12:17 PM. Lunch with the human. I've used my sad eyes trick to convince her to give me a ham and cheese sandwich.

2:03 PM. The guy on the Weather Channel is predicting twenty centimetres of snow for parts of the province tonight.

At least it's not that guy who used to be on this channel who kept telling people they'd have to eat their dead every time there was a flurry. I wonder what mental hospital he ended up in.

4:10 PM. The human is having afternoon tea. I have taken the opportunity to mooch another oatmeal cookie.

6:30 PM. Dinner with the human. She's been kind enough to give me a plate of meatloaf. 

This is good!

8:23 PM. Pondering the great mysteries of life. Is there a purpose in chasing one's tail?

11:19 PM. The human is off to bed. Good night, and sleep well. But keep the door open. If there's lightning in the night, I'm totally hiding under your bed.


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