Return Of The Cancer Widow Scammer

It seems that I have been quite hit by the internet scammers this month. As was the case in my last post and two other posts earlier in the month, no matter how many times I might belittle and insult them, they keep coming back with more attempted scams in emails, sent off to my email accounts with the hope and expectation that someone on their list might be gullible enough to buy into the scam. Such was the case with this one, which came in around the same time as the one in my previous post. The name was familiar, but some of the details of the totally fake story had changed.

My Beloved Friend In The Lord.

Greetings in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. I am Mrs Elizabeth A. Johnson from Bahrain, a widow to late Dr. A. Johnson . l am 51 years old and a coveted born again Christian, suffering from long time cancer of the breast, from all indication my condition is really deteriorating and it is quite obvious that I might not live more than two (2) months, according to my doctor because the cancer has gotten to a very worst/ dangerous stage.

My late husband and my only child died last five years ago, his death was politically motivated. My late husband was a very rich and wealthy business man who was running his Gold/Diamond Business here in South Africa. After his death, I inherited all his business and wealth. My doctors has advised me that I may not live for more than two (2) months, so I now decided to divide the part of this wealth, to contribute to the development of the church in Africa, America, Asia, and Europe. I collected your email address during my desperate search on the internet and I prayed over it, the spirit of our lord Jesus Christ directed me to you.

I decided to donate the sum of $5,600,000.00 USD (Five Million Six hundred thousand United States dollars) to the less privileged because I cannot take this money to the grave. Please I want you to note that this fund is lodged in a bank here in South Africa.

Once I hear from you, I will forward to you all the information's you will use to get this fund released from the bank and to be transferred to your bank account. I honestly pray that this money when transferred to you will be used for the said purpose because l has come to find out that wealth acquisition without Christ is vanity. May the grace of our lord Jesus the love of God and the fellowship of God be with you and your family.

Reply me on my private email address

Thanks and God bless you.

Your beloved sister in Christ.

Mrs. Elizabeth Anna Johnson.

Well, where to begin? Mrs. Johnson, or whatever the hell her, his, or its real name is, fits some of the hallmarks of the traditional internet scammer. The widow with the sob story, the devout and faithful person with a whole lot of money to just give away. Writing numbers in both letter and numerical form. Mistakes in writing and a style of writing that suggests English is not their first language. Capitalizing words that don't require it. We see all the hallmarks of it in this message. And then there's the matter of the one email address in the received line not matching the one that she put into the body of her fake scam email (which I deleted). 

I mentioned that the name was familiar. And so checking older posts I confirmed those suspicions. Last February I featured this post, in which Mrs. Johnson had the same claim- dying of breast cancer (no, wait, cancer of the breast in her terms) and claiming to have just two months left to live and wanting to give away her 5.6 million dollars to charity for the 'good work of the lord' if I'll just administer it. 

So she carries on the scam here. Mind you, some of the details have changed. Her husband, the late doctor A. Johnson has gone from being a diplomat to being a businessman (a very rich and wealthy businessman, as if saying the same thing in two different ways somehow makes it more real). Instead of dying in a car crash like her previous claim states, she only says his death was politically motivated. Oh, and this time she mentions their only child dying too. You'd think the old bat would be able to keep her story straight and have remembered the death of their child, but apparently not. 

"Wealth acquisition without Christ is vanity", she says. Well, do please tell that to the insufferable bastards who call themselves televangelists, who make themselves obscenely rich fleecing real widows and desperate people and hiding behind their own self righteous piety. Tell that to the prosperity gospel religious right. But you won't, because for all your claimed virtue and devout faith, we all know it's nothing more than a line you're feeding for the truly gullible. Which I am not.

We both know, Mrs. Johnson, or whoever you are, that there is no cancer. Because you claimed the same thing a year ago- 'two months left to live, poor me, do the lord's work'. And yet here you are. So there is no cancer. 

But I'm going to say something that might be cruel, might be harsh.

But it's warranted.

See, for those of us who have lost family members to that disease, it's not amusing to see a goddamned scam artist like you using cancer to pull a con.

So in an ideal world, Mrs. Johnson, you really would end up with cancer.

A very aggressive form of it. The sort that no painkiller can alleviate as the end comes, the sort that makes you scream and howl in pain and curse everyone you ever knew.

But we're not living in an ideal world.

So I'll just suggest you go find yourself a cliff. And jump off it.