Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

It is time once again for the point of view of the dog and the cat. As always, I begin with the hound...

7:26 AM. Waking up at home. Slept exceedingly well. Dreamed of chasing my tail... and finally catching it.

7:28 AM. A quick look outside. Hmmm, more snow. I was under the impression that spring was supposed to be in the air sometime this month, but apparently not.

7:31 AM. The human comes downstairs. I enthusiastically wag my tail in greetings. Hello, human!

7:34 AM. I have been provided with a bowl of kibbles for breakfast by the human. Thanks, human!

7:35 AM. Have finished wolfing down my breakfast. It was yummy!

7:46 AM. Enjoying the smells of frying bacon for the human’s breakfast. Doing my mooching sad eyes thing.

7:47 AM. The human has put a slice of bacon down onto a plate for me. Yum yum yum!

7:51 AM. Out the door for a morning run. See you later, human!

7:59 AM. Running through snowy fields, barking my head off! Woof woof woof!

8:04 AM. Well, this is at least one sign of spring... the creek in the woods is free of ice. Dare I splash around for a bit?

8:06 AM. Boy, that water’s cold enough to really wake you up. And put hair on your chest, if I’ve got the human expression right. That expression doesn’t make much sense, if you ask me, and of course you are asking me, but between you and me, there’s a lot about humans that don’t make sense. That said, I like them anyway.

8:09 AM. Okay, it didn’t occur to me before, but my splashing around in the water has gotten my fur a wee bit wet. Now, that’s not too much of a problem, I mean, after all, it’s not that cold out today, but the problem starts when I get home and the human applies the Towel of Torment to me. What is it about the nature of the dog that we so often give in to impulse without thinking things through? Oh, I know... impulse is fun.

8:13 AM. Stopping to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. Hello, Spike!

8:14 AM. After greetings in the customary doggie manner, Spike and I compare notes on sightings of the enemy. The squirrels have been quite active raiding bird feeders. They must be getting anxious for the spring to come. And if they’re anxious, they might make mistakes. And if they make mistakes, they can get caught in the open. And if they get caught in the open... that’s when we can get them. And then, and only then... vengeance will be ours!

8:19 AM. Spike and I agree to keep each other updated on further sightings of the enemy through barking. See you later, Spike!

8:25 AM. Passing by the property of that cranky cat. I pause to have a look at things. Hmmm, there she is inside on a window sill. Should I go say hello? Would that be the wise thing to do? Or would it be the impulsive thing to do? Well, as long as she’s on the inside and I’m on the outside, it would at least be the fun thing to do. And always count on a dog to do the fun thing. 

8:27 AM. The cat has taken note of my presence on the property and is now up on her feet, hissing madly and cursing me through the window. Hello, cat! It’s me! Loki, Annoyer of Mailmen and Chewer of Slippers!

8:29 AM. Wagging my tail before the window while the cat hisses at me. Oh, come on! Why can’t we be friends? Fine, I’ll go. I mean, honestly, you bark at a cat while she’s sleeping on the porch just one time, and they never forgive you. Mind you, I’ve pulled that trick on her a total of seven times, but who’s counting?

8:43 AM. Back home. Barking to alert the human to my return. 

8:44 AM. The human has let me in, but is subjecting me to the Towel of Torment. You know, human, the smell of a wet dog is not as bad as you make it out to be. 

12:09 PM. Waking up from my nap just in time for lunch.

12:13 PM. I have successfully mooched a ham sandwich from the human. Yum yum yum!

6:06 PM. Watching the human while she’s making dinner. It smells good, that’s for sure.

6:32 PM. Dinner with the human. She’s cut up some nice chunks of lamb for me. Tastes good. I don’t know why, but she’s having Brussel sprouts with her lamb. Humans can be pretty weird at times, if you ask me.

8:32 PM. Barking out into the darkness for no reason whatsoever. It's a dog thing.

11:45 PM. The human is off to bed after watching the last of the local news. Weather forecasters are calling for more snow for the next few days. Well, think of it this way, human. Spring will get here eventually. Maybe in a few more weeks. Maybe in July. Maybe August. Just in time for winter to start coming back in September. Wouldn’t it be fun if we saw our first snowstorm of the latter part of the year on the Labour Day weekend?


  1. Yeah, the pillow just exploded. It happens. I've seen this with Macey. That wasn't a pillow, it was a package and I opened it to discover all this fun FLUFF!!

    1. Right now you’re probably reading this message because you’re desperate to finally learn how to not only train your dog quickly and effectively, but you also don’t want to have to spend a huge chunk of cash on professional dog trainers or read yet another dog training book that doesn’t get you results.

      Don’t worry, you’re NOT alone in your frustration!

      Find out here: How To Teach A Dog?

      Best rgs


  2. That dog definitely is exquisite!

  3. @Diane: dogs will be dogs.

    @Kelly: definitely.

    @Parsnip: yes!

    @Mari: I have fun putting these together.

    @Lady Fi: thank you!

  4. Extra hugs to the dogs of the world. My mom lost her last night and it's been really hard. I'm more than a little certain she loved him more than some of her children... ;)

  5. Wake me up on Wednesday, too...but not next Wednesday....

  6. Thanks for reminding us all about the weirdness of humans! Lol Your dog must watch CNN.

  7. Why is it dogs are always deceived by cats named Mittens? Don't know if I laughed at that picture or the Sherlock Holmes beagle more!


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