Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Saturday, January 9, 2016

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

Once again it's time for the point of view of our dog and cat, and as always, I begin with the perspective of the dog.

7:35 AM. Waking up at home. Lying by the fireplace. Slept exceedingly well. Dreamed of cookies. 

7:41 AM. The human comes downstairs. Hello, human! Isn’t it a fine day? The kind of day that makes you want to go out and make snowmen and bark at the mailman, am I right? Say, how about some cookies with my breakfast?

7:44 AM. No cookies, but a big bowlful of kibbles instead. Well, I’m sure I can get a cookie or two when the human has her morning tea. Time to wolf down breakfast in as rapid a manner as possible.

7:48 AM. Out the door for my morning run. Bye, human! 

7:53 AM. Running through the back fields, as fast as I can through the snow, barking my head off. Life is good!

8:12 AM. Stopping by to pay my respects to Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. Hello, Spike!

8:16 AM. Spike and I compare notes on movements of the enemy. The squirrels are far less present and accounted for than in the fall. They’re spending more time in their hidey holes up in trees, no doubt stocked up with lots of nuts. Much more elusive out in the open this time of year. Spike and I agree that our most recent sightings have been when we’ve been inside and they’ve crossed the property outside.

Spike, do you suppose the squirrels somehow know when we’re inside? How’s that possible? Is it one big conspiracy with the vets and the mailmen?

8:19 AM. Spike and I discuss last night’s weather reports. Apparently more snow to come tonight. The problem with that is if it comes tonight, that means far less likelihood of an avalanche burying the mailman’s car while he’s out on his rounds.

8:21 AM. Taking my leave of Spike. We promise to keep each other fully updated by loud barking should any close sightings of the enemy take place.

8:32 AM. Back home. Barking as I come up to the house. Human! It is I, Loki, Annoyance Of Cats And Chewer Of Slippers!

8:33 AM. The human lets me in, but subjects me to the Towel Of Torment first. Come now, human, it’s just a little wet snowy fur... it’ll dry up on its own. Honestly, I don’t know what you have against the smell of a wet dog.

8:37 AM. Settling down near the fireplace. Time for a nap. Note to self: set internal alarm clock so I don’t miss the human’s morning tea.

11:43 AM. Waking up. Oh, wait... must have overslept. Did I miss the morning tea and its associated chance to mooch cookies?

11:45 AM. A check of the kitchen does indeed confirm that I missed morning tea. That said, however, I am early for lunch. 

12:04 PM. Watching the human making some sandwiches. Being patient. Patience always pays off. Well, that and the patented sad eyes mooching look. I’ve become quite an expert in its usage, after all, and it has its rewards.

12:12 PM. Chowing down on a ham and cheese dinner roll. Yum yum yum!

1:03 PM. Setting up my vigil at the front window to keep an eye out on the road. The mailman’s car should be here soon, and I’ve got a serious barking to get out of my system when he does.

1:23 PM. Through the window I can hear the distant sound of furious barking. That sounds like Spike. And from the cadence of the barking, I can surmise that the mailman’s car must be passing by his place. Okay, Loki, get yourself ready, that monster should be here very soon....

1:26 PM. Barking up a storm as the vile mailman stops at the mailbox and drops off some letters. Hey! Get away from my property, you reprehensible fiend! You hear me?

1:27 PM. The human comes to see what the problem is. Human! It was that horrible mailman! I know you grumble when you come back from the mailbox with letters, so that means the mailman is evil! Evil, I tell you!

4:38 PM. Waking up from my nap. Slept well. Feeling hungry. Way too early for supper. I’ll just have to muddle through.

6:03 PM. Supervising the human while she’s making dinner. Looks like she’s got pancakes on the stove. So much the better... I love pancakes!

6:24 PM. Life is good. Bacon and apple pancakes taste so yummy

8:23 PM. Staring at the ceiling. Wondering if the meaning of life means that everything can be divided down by a factor of chewed slippers.

9:21 PM. Looking outside. I can see blowing snow in the beam of light from the outside lights. Is this the Mother Of All Blizzards?

11:34 PM. The human’s taking one last look outside before heading off to bed. Lots of snow falling. Human? Any chance this means the mailman won’t be able to get back here tomorrow?

Well, good night, human. Sleep well. I’ll stay down here and keep an eye out for any invading squirrels in the night. In which case I shall bark loud enough to wake the dead.


  1. I love Loki and your Day in the life posts.
    You always make me giggle. The " we are blaming you now" is so funny and wonderful. Love the fluffy dog.

    Adore the last photo Thanks you so much.
    cheers, parsnip and thehamish

  2. Wonderful, William. I may even smile all day after seeing these!

  3. Hilarious little doggies make my day!

  4. My goodness, I'd never heard of a whippet or seen one. Them are some fugly dogs!! lol

  5. I love Loki, too. He's quite a character!

  6. @Parsnip: I like writing Loki. He's got a fun inner voice!

    @EG: thank you!

    @Cheryl: thanks!

    @Diane: I rather like them!

    @Norma: he certainly is one.

  7. You are right. Beagles love everyone and everything.

  8. ha! My Mable was a great warrior against Alternate Universe Dog...

  9. Very cute critters, William, And I would trust my dog to know when not to trust a human. Definitely true.

  10. @Eve: definitely!

    @Kelly: isn't that cute?

    @Mari: they do!

    @Lynn: does the Alternate Universe Dog have a beard?

    @Lorelei: dogs are good on that one!

  11. I loved the scrapbooking and the hiding behind the tree ones. But the hugging one about the chewed up shoe had me laughing out loud. We've been lucky that Arthur really only eats his food, select types of our food, and the occasional puzzle piece.


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