Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, July 14, 2014

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

Some links before I get things started today. Norma has a free fiction preview going on for a limited time for An Army Of Angels.  As well, she has a post today on old television westerns. Yesterday being a Sunday, we had a Snippet Sunday post at our joint blog. Krisztina is getting ready for a move. The Happy Whisk has a sight that may horrify you. Cheryl had visitors. And Lorelei writes about not writing what you know. Now then, it's time to set our sights once more on the point of view of a dog and a cat. The hound, as always, starts off first.

7:45 AM. Waking up. Feet up in the air on the living room floor. Wow, I think I overslept. 

7:46 AM. Finding the human already in the kitchen brewing tea. Good morning, human. Have you thought about breakfast?

7:50 AM. The human rewards my persistence with a good bowl of kibbles. Yum yum yum!

7:51 AM. I can't quite beat my all time record of finishing breakfast fast, but that was good!

7:54 AM. Out the door for my morning run. Bye, human!

8:05 AM. Oh boy oh boy oh boy! Running through the back fields, barking my head off. A dog's life is the life for me!

8:40 AM. Passing by the house where that cranky cat lives. Oh, there she is on the back porch. Hello, cat!

8:41 AM. I wasn't aware cats could give someone the finger. Oh well, maybe some other time....

9:05 AM. Back home. The human's outside putting out some lawn chairs. Hey, are we getting company?

9:07 AM. The human tells me she's hosting the family reunion today. Well, that explains all the paper plates and such that you've been buying... Wait a minute, does that include the young ones who like to think I'm a pony?

1:45 PM. Busy watching the human. She's baking lots of things, getting food ready. I wonder if I can scarf a couple of cookies without being noticed...

1:46 PM. Operation Sneak A Cookie is interrupted by someone opening up the door. Oh, it's that cousin and her family. I wag my tail hello. Their kids don't treat me like a pony.

2:15 PM. More relatives arriving, chatting away. Kids have already ridden me twice. Oh, for just a little more patience... 

Hey, Uncle Jack is here. He's good people. Always gives me cookies.

2:25 PM. True to form, Uncle Jack has just palmed me a couple of those tasty butterscotch cookies my human makes. Yum yum yum...

3:40 PM. Watching cousins playing baseball in the backfield. Now if I remember the rules right, the designated dog gets to keep the ball if he catches it.

3:55 PM. Have caught the ball! My ball! You go find yourselves another ball, this one's mine.

4:02 PM. Have lost interest in ball upon sighting of that annoying squirrel. Barking my head off and racing for the tree line.

4:25 PM. Have been circling under the tree, watching that annoying squirrel heckling me from the branches up there. 

One of these days, you will get what's coming to you...

5:00 PM. Mooching a couple of cocoanut cookies off of Uncle Jack. He's good people.

5:35 PM. Subjected to the torment of having two kids ride me like a horse. The things I do for my human...

6:05 PM. Looks like dinner will be pretty soon. Maybe I should stake out who I'll be sitting by. That toddler nephew has potential. Kids that age drop food all the time...

6:25 PM. Dinner getting underway. Everyone going over to the picnic tables where the hot food is. I'll maintain my position here by the kid. I'd rather just call him the kid and not call him by his name. Honestly, who names a kid Hugo?

6:30 PM. True to form, the kid is having dinner and spilling some. I've already gobbled up a nice dinner roll, some beef, and cauliflower. Yum yum yum....

I wonder if I can keep this up over dessert...

7:05 PM. Feeling stuffed. Had a lot of morsels from the kid, including half a slice of blueberry pie. I wonder if that'll come back to haunt me? Plus lots of other tidbits from other various relations.

7:45 PM. Uncle Jack sneaks me an oatmeal cookie. Yum yum yum...

10:55 PM. The last of the relatives left a couple of hours ago. The human is quite content, sitting in the living room. I still feel stuffed. I'll say this much... getting spoiled with extra human food is a good reward for having little kids using me as their personal cavalry.


  1. Such a great story today. And every photo delivered a much needed laugh.
    Thank You !

    cheers, parsnip

  2. Yep, that's the sex scandal frown. I've seen it in the news on so many different faces. We need to come up with an emoticon for the sex scandal frown.


  3. Don't know if I like Mollie and Moe, the lineup, or the sex scandal better! Your dog/cat posts always give me my laugh for the day!

  4. These are all great and being a dog-lover and cat-owner, I'm thinking we ought to get another dog. My wife, however, disagrees. I haven't discussed the possibility with the cats as yet, but I've got a pretty good idea what they might say.

    Do love the "scandal" pic!

  5. I love the bulldogs!

    And the ongoing war with the squirrel....

  6. @Parsnip: thank you!

    @Diane: we really do.

    @Cheryl: always a pleasure to do so.

    @Lowell: the cats would say no way!

    @Norma: that squirrel one day will get what's coming to him...

  7. I'd forgive that German shepherd any day.

  8. "Stop trying to make Fetch happen." Totally cracked me up.

  9. Oh my gosh. Love the dog complaining about the quality of the homework. We all need standards.

  10. Sounds like the dog had quite a nice day. Now I seriously want a butterscotch cookie.

  11. This is quite a collection! Our new Wilma is a squirrel lover. Or is that hater?

  12. Fun post, William! Reminds me of the picnic we had when our Golden was still around. She ate so many hot dogs at one family picnic, she turned her nose up at more and slept for hours--through all the noise!

  13. @Mari: well, it's those eyes.

    @Kelly: thank you!

    @Karla: we certainly do.

    @Meradeth: the doggie had a good day, even if he was treated like a pony.

    @Petrea: I think all dogs hate squirrels.

    @Lorelei: I can't remember our dogs getting that spoiled, though a cookie was often part of their diet...

  14. Oh dear, that dog might need some doggy Pepto-bismal. I love the staccato-sniffing style of this. Great stuff Mr. William.

  15. Finally, a dog has taken those pretend to throw ninnies to task!


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