Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

Before we get into things today, some links to see to. Eve wrote a haiku at her blog yesterday. Lorelei has a giveaway going on over at her blog. And Parsnip had Memorial Day thoughts the other day at her blog.

Today we have ourselves the dog taking charge here at the blog (with the cat's point of view next time out). By the end, you might be thinking, poor doggie!

7:40 AM. Waking up suddenly. Did I hear something, or was it just that last moment of a dream?

7:45 AM. Staring outside. Looking for any sign of the malevolent beast that is the annoying squirrel. No sign of the little bastard.

7:50 AM. Good morning, human! Did you wake up suddenly like I did, or was it a more leisurely pace?

A more vital question: have you put any thought into making my breakfast, by chance?

7:55 AM. Wolfing down breakfast. Kibbles are the best!

8:00 AM. Out the door to go on my morning run. See you later, human!

8:17 AM. Barking my head off, running like a lunatic through the back fields.

8: 40 AM. Stopping in my tracks. Saw movement out of the corner of my eye. Hmmm, what's that?

8:41 AM. It's something with spiky needles for fur. I've seen one of these before, haven't I? It's been awhile, though. Is there something about these things I should remember? 

Maybe I'll give it a sniff....

8:42 AM. Ow ouch ouch ow!!!!!!!!!

That hurt!!!

8:43 AM. The critter is just walking away! Hey! All I did was sniff, and you're leaving these needles in my snout???

8:46 AM. Ouch ouch ouch ouch! These things sting! There's never been pain like this! It's cataclysmic! It's catastrophic! 

8:55 AM. Stopping in to confer with Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. He gets one look at me and asks why I didn't give that porcupine a wide berth. I didn't realize what would happen, you know!

9:00 AM. Spike's initial attempts to pull out some of the needles doesn't work. He suggests I go home and ask my human for help with this one.

9:25 AM. Back home. Whining as I walk up to the house. The human's hanging clothes outside to dry on the line. She sees me, pauses, and clicks her tongue in reproach.

Oh, I know that now!

9:35 AM. The human is using a tool to pull out the needles, one by one. I'm trying not to howl in agony each time one comes out. Ow!

9:47 AM. Another needle out. Are we nearly done? Because I might pass out. 

10:14 AM. Finally. The human tells me the needles are all out. Much better, but my poor snout still feels tender...

10:17 AM. My attempt at a nap is thwarted as the human puts a leash on me and takes me to the car. Where are we going?

10:45 AM. The human is stopping the car. Hey, this place looks familiar...

Wait a minute... it's the vet!!!!

Not the vile fiend! Human, is there no end to this horror of a day?

10:48 AM. The human is pulling me into the vet's offices despite my protests. The phrase abandon all hope, ye who enter here comes to mind.

11:05 AM. The vile fiend turns up in the room, and she's already cheerfully greeting my human. Oh, sure, lady, you might talk like that now, but we all know you're a monstrous demon who revels in torture.

11:10 AM. The vile fiend is running an inspection of my snout. I'm so tempted to bite her, but I have no idea if I could get infected by some toxic essence that makes up these vile fiends.

11:12 PM. The vile fiend is finished inspecting me, and gives my human a prescription. Something about a mild painkiller.

11:15 AM. The vile fiend gives me a pat as we leave, saying she hopes to see me again sometime soon. How about never? Is never too soon for you?

12:10 PM. Back home. Settling in. The human makes me a mix of kibble and wet dog food. I wonder if she's trying to hide my medicine in there. Oh well... I'm hungry anyway. Confrontations with vile fiends will have that effect.

11:40 PM. Human heading upstairs for the night. Feeling better. Snout less tender. One thing's for sure, I'm not going to forget to give a porcupine a wide berth in the future. They're even more annoying than skunks!


  1. Haha! I wonder if all dogs and cats can sense when they're heading to the 'vile fiend' :) Still a bit of pain killer is always a good outcome!

  2. We actually feel sorry for Dog... we have to say though,that cats would never get into such a predicament.
    The REAL Maple Syrup Mob xxxxx

  3. Poor cat! Believing a dog knows anything about dryers!

  4. Porcupines sound very painful but fortunately, curiosity killed the CAT!
    Thanks for the mention--and the picture of Fred reminds me of you know who.
    Took my other dog to the vet the other day and after one step in the door she immediately stepped right back outside. LOL You captured that moment too.

  5. I'm dying over the "If I were any happier, I'd explode." Seriously. I can't stop laughing.

  6. Poor pup!

    That "happy" dog looks like someone I know. Seriously. Not some dog. Someone. As in human....

  7. Dogs are just perfect.

    cheers, parsnip

  8. I'v removed many a quill out of our dogs as a child. Needle nose pliers work well. We lived in the mountains of Montana, and no matter how many times they got quilled, our dogs continued to think porcupines were their best friends. Unlike humans, unrequited love did not deter them.

  9. @Grace: the vile fiend cannot be forgiven!

    @Jane and Chris: cats are smarter!

    @Cheryl: cat will get him back!

    @Eve: I can't blame her!

    @Kelly: isn't that dog cute?

    @Norma: oh boy!

    @Parsnip: they are!

    @Carole: my grandparents had a dog that only had to have it done once. Never again.

    @Lynn: yes, he's had a bad day!

  10. Awww, poor guy! Porcupines are never friendly! (Also, parachuting with a dog? That's an amazing picture!)

  11. The dog in the tree looks something like the dog we had that climbed trees. I did feel sorry for the dog, but love the cartoon about the dryer.

  12. I have to agree with the dog in the last picture. In fact, I think that is the way to be sometimes. Totally oblivious.

    Hugs and chocolate!

  13. Oh, lots of fun here... poor dog. I hope he knows that skunks are evil too???


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