Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Of Spoiled Brats And Over Indulgent Parents

Before I begin... those of you who might overindulge your kids might want to skip this blog. I'm going off on a wee bit of a rant. In Clint Eastwood mode. Maybe a bit of Denis Leary too.

Okay. I assume everyone who's staying doesn't mind a bit of a rant. I've got a bit of a story about brats and parents to tell, and it's from the newspapers. These kids are going to grow up to be absolutely rotten people as adults. And they have their rotten parents to thank for it.

Out of Oshawa, Ontario, east of Toronto, comes a story from this past Hallowe'en. The link is right here, but the gist of the story is as follows. The new resident of a home in the city wasn't home this past Hallowe'en, and got an anonymous letter shortly thereafter, supposedly written by the children of the neighbourhood. It chastised him for not giving out candy on Hallowe'en night, like the former resident of the house always did. It added that he could rectify this by giving out lots of chocolate (no chips) next year. The man in question is new to the neighbourhood, and doesn't know his neighbours, but feels they should respect his decision not to give out candy.

Given that rectify was actually a word used in the letter, you can safely bet it wasn't a ten year old kid writing the letter. Anyway, his reaction to it was to write a letter online, and it went viral. Entitled "Dear Children Of Entitlement (and likely their parents), the letter was a grand "screw you" to the over-indulged spoiled brats and their parents. The line that I liked out of the lot? "You have gone ahead and reminded me of why I do not want children, and why I weep for the future."


My personal response: bravo, sir. I salute you, and offer my compliments.

Full disclosure time: I'm not a kid person. I don't like children personally, and don't ever see myself as a father. That's a personal choice. The sound of a kid having a temper tantrum is the sort of thing that has a "dear God, will someone shut that kid up" response in me. Since my teens, I've found young kids to be a general annoyance. I have no patience with children. Never have, and never will. Fortunately my parents have plenty of grandchildren, and I'm under no pressure to make another one.

The kids of that neighbourhood, I expect, are like all too many kids these days. Spoiled rotten by parents who treat them as if they're the center of the bloody universe, indulging every whim, setting no boundaries at all. I don't know about you, but as a trick or treater, if a house was dark, that simply meant not going up to the door on Hallowe'en. There was always more candy elsewhere. It didn't mean whining to mommy and daddy, who promised they'd make it all better with an anonymous letter of entitlement to the person in question wagging their anonymous finger.

These parents are doing their children no favours. They're teaching them that if they don't get what they want, whining and griping will solve the problem. They're teaching them that the world owes them. They're teaching them horrific social skills. They're teaching them that the world does revolve around them, and that they're entitled to everything they wish for... to hell with earning it.

I'm not a parent (at least that I know of)... but I can tell you that approach is not going to result in a well adjusted human being. That's going to result in a narcissistic, self absorbed human being who's incapable of functioning in an adult society. Life isn't about getting everything you want. It's about challenges, obstacles, and disappointments. It's how you deal with those challenges, obstacles, and disappointments that marks who you are as a human being. You can either be the person who copes with these things, learns from them, and overcomes them... or you can be the shallow buffoon whining "that's not fair" everytime you come up short.

Of course, these parents will never see it that way. They'll claim that their little Joey or little Katie is the most special child ever and deserves to get all that they want and can't ever be faced with a disappointment or a setback. Such things are not good for their emotional well being, don't you know? Meanwhile, little Joey and little Katie know exactly how to bend their idiot parents right to their ways, put on the waterworks when they have to... and get away with bloody murder.

I can see it now. A mommy in the school office with the principal, confronted with her precious little daughter's bad behavior after the cafeteria caught on fire.

"My precious little Clarissa would never hurt a fly! She's so special and good and well adjusted and... Clarissa, sweetie? Would you mind putting down the matches for Mommy? I'll buy you a new teddy bear on the way home if you do..."


  1. I like that "at least that I know of" part. You might get a lot of letters and emails now. "Dear Daddy...."

    Parents should realize that no one is obligated to accommodate their kids. I've had that problem with the idiotic parents in my neighborhood.

    I love my own child more than I can ever tell him. I just don't love everybody's kids.

  2. Ha ha! OMG, that's me in that pic saying "get off my lawn"! Ha ha! I'm on the other end of the spectrum and often wonder if I'm too stern. I see other kids jumping on furniture and yelling indoors, and I'm shocked. Seems like I tell my girls to quiet down about a million times a day! And I'm a firm believer in NOT buying them everything their little hearts desire. I've seen too many parents try and raise their kids w/respect and responsibility, but they can't ever figure out why what they're doing isn't working. Then I come to find out they buy their kids anything and everything they want and rarely tell their kids no. Duh! There's the problem, idiots!!!

  3. It's boundaries that kids need, and too many parents seem to think setting boundaries and rules are harmful to self esteem.

  4. Kylie's firt lesson in boundaries was when she was about 2. I set a candy dish where she could reach it. Everytime she grabbed a piece without getting my permission, she got into trouble! Ha ha. It was a lot of work, but it paid off. I almost gave up w/Kaitlin though. That girl is something else. But the second she starts having a over! Whatever she is whining for becomes totally out of the question.

  5. William, aren't you glad you don't have to deal with the stuff we parents do? I lucked out. Collin was such a good kid, nobody believed he was mine!

  6. I can't believe the children of today would do something like that. Lots of homes in our area were dark...some people work late and have little ones that they need to take out as well. Leaving a bowl of candy on the front porch is out of the question. One kid and it would all be gone.

    I've never given "everything" to my child...she gets things once in a while or she buys it herself. As for an allowance, we don't give her money all the time...just for doing little jobs around the house, etc.

    Whatever happened to saying 'please, and thankyou'...? Or saying 'sorry' for running into someone by mistake? The world is becoming a rougher place...I sure hope my child never acts like those ones did. Thankfully, I had a good baby and now I have a healthy, happy, well-adjusted 8 year old...I pity those parents and their children...

  7. William, I hope someday you fall in love so bad that you can't help but find yourself clutching your spoiled mini version of yourself while trick or treating. Someday.

  8. Oh wait, you must be a curmudgeon. Welcome to curmudgeon land. ;-) I have the same feelings about the same children. We don't hand out candy... EVER. I don't believe in freebies.

    Plus I don't have children. I was the oldest of nine so I did my child-rearing as a child.

    Thumbs up to this rant.

  9. Cyn--he's a lovable curmudgeon--but he'll scowl at me for saying that.

    Evie--don't bet on it. You couldn't get odds in Vegas on William wanting to be a daddy. He likes his freedom!

    Beth--I was a spoiled brat. When Collin was born, the neighborhood kids came by to see him. They'd say, "Oh, he's cute. Is he mean?"

    Christina--which of your girls is most like you?

  10. Norma--It's a bit of a split...Kylie is very analytical, sensitive and considerate and is interested in a lot of the same creative things I'm interested in, and Kaitlin...well, she's crazy! Lol. But I didn't get the outgoing adventurous side until I was much older, so all in all Kylie's my mini me.:)

  11. *clap* *clap* *clap* I love well-mannered kids, can't stand being around brats. And there seem to be more of the latter than the former these days. Or maybe I've just had bad luck. Don't know. Like you said, Halloween has rules - no knocking if the light's off. Hub and I don't have kids either, but that has nothing to do with anything. Manners are taught in the home. What's going on out there is not good, on many levels. Bravo for speaking out!

  12. I so agree with this rant... and I could add to these stores with ones from when I lived and raised my kids in the land of entitlement, Southern California.

    Never demanded grandchildren, like so many people I know. If my kids had children that was great and if not that was great too.

    I have a rant getting ready to post which is similar to your but it is were the children are born and us as a commodity/ticket for the parents entitlements they are uses for benefits.

    Great writing today.
    cheers, parsnip

  13. Word. The same parents I deal with today, who call the police enraged because their precious baby would never steal or do drugs, are the same ones who came into the principal's office when they were kids to insist the poor little tykes never did anything wrong. If my parents got a call from the school when I was a kid, they'd warm up the paddle without question.

  14. This is WONDERFUL!!! And has been the topic of conversation in my little world this week. Kids that are disruptive, rude, have no manners, oh I can go on!
    It seems like parents blame everything and everyone else except their own parenting for little Timmy's bad behavior. But I suggest they look at themselves first.

    My husband and I call it "Lack of Responsibility Disorder." Wake up parents! Teaching your child manners is actually your responsibility! The world doesn't revolve around your little Timmy! When he grabs a toy from someone or talks rudely, IT'S NOT CUTE!

    Phew! I feel better now. Thanks for letting me rant along with you!

  15. I saw so much of this when I was teaching - kids just aren't used to being told no, and they don't know how to react when they hear it. Sad but true.

  16. Wow, William, this post should go viral. Well done. I love it. I get tired of parents who overindulge their children. I got in a disagreement once with a father and his obnoxious children. He said, 'I believe children should be allowed to be children.' I said, what will they do when their friends grow up, but they're still children?'
    And doesn't all this have a lot to do with our spoiled world?
    These parents are lucky. He could have done what that lady in England did. Dip onions on sticks in taffy and gave them out.

  17. Right on, William. I too, never wanted children. It's good that others do, to keep the species going, and all.

    Dang pity, some parents haven't caught on that self esteem happens when you do something other than hold your hand out.

    Thanks for this eloquent rant!

  18. What ticks me off is parents who think because they have kids, everyone is obligated to accommodate them. As is people with children have more rights than those who don't have any.

  19. This one really is seeing a lot of traffic!

  20. When I was a kid we called our freinds parents Mr. and Mrs. Jones. We also thanked them for dinner, a ride home, or anything they did for us. Today's kids never say thank you or show respect! I see this everytime I take one of my granddaughter's friends somewhere. I just took my granddaughter and one of her friends to see the movie "Footloose" and when I went to drop her off - nothing! No thanks or any sign of appreciation. It happens all the time.

  21. This is getting some attention. I should probably do some kind of "Top Ten" rant and link to it. It seems to be quite the hot-button issue.

  22. I also like this post very much. I happen to like children very much, but the spoiled ones make me want to slap their parents silly. They have no idea the injustice they are doing. That their children will not be liked anywhere or anytime.

  23. This reminds me of being at the gym and this Dad was allowing his 8 year old daughter to play around on the weight machines. She was on the verge of really messing one up. I told her that if she kept doing what she was doing, she was going to crush her leg. She stopped.

  24. I like a good rant and I can see why this set you off. I don't think it matters whether you are a kid person or not, the person who wrote the anonymous bitchy letter is clearly out of line.

  25. We had a little girl come to the door and refuse to take the offered candy because she didn't like peanut butter. When Dave suggested she switch with one of her friends, she demanded something different. My mouth was hanging open.

  26. William, I told you this is one you should be putting out in a lot of places. This may be your most popular blog yet!

    Send it to that newspaper as a Letter to the Editor. I'll bet they publish it!

  27. I heard about this story on the radio and was appalled. Thought the neighbour's response was awesome! What if the man didn't even celebrate Halloween, that's pretty rude to his beliefs? I lived in the country when I was a child and there were many houses occupied by Mennonites who don't celebrate Halloween. So we just skipped those and moved on. Still got lots of chocolate.

    I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said. But I also think that the new education system is a bit of a culprit of the whole entitlement thing since they no longer fail children. This means they could continually do poorly and still move on to the next grade. Now, they all expect promotions for doing sub-par work. Brilliant.

  28. William - this post was amazing! I share so many of your feelings. Parents these days are not doing their kids justice. There shouldn't be awards for everything. Kids these days, thanks to their parents are so ill equipted for real life it is frightening..and sad. I actually feel sorry for them..

  29. Can you come to my next parents meeting when the parents are sure to eat me alive.
    You can spout off and I can sit back and smile.
    Parents here in Spain especially middle class are more often than not creating MONSTERS. Today is a good example . Mummy writes me..
    You called my son stupid or silly how dare you my son is a good well brought up little soul. and you are basicilly a super bitch teacher.(His behviour was what I was talking about) when he set about ridiculing another girl in class).
    What was that about sparing the rod????? I wish..............

  30. I believe it that some obnoxious kids have moronic parents meaning that the parents are morons if it's their fault that their kids misbehave so therefore if you ask me blameworthy parents don't deserve my sympathy if they get criticized even punished for their kids' poor behavior especially if these parents don't want to come to their senses,furthermore,parents of problem kids aren't pitiful if they're "sore" that not everyone's big on their kids nor does everyone desire being "exceptionally" nice to their kids so not only is it annoying but it's also impolite of parents to expect everyone to be "big" on their kids and it's also annoying and rude of parents to expect or force everyone to be "exceptionally" nice to their kids especially if the kids are a "handful" or just difficult to relate to.


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