A Day In The Life Of A Cat

 And now it is time for Her Supreme Highness, the cat, to have the last word in such matters.

7:02 AM. Waking up. Yawn and a stretch. Still looks kind of dark out there.

7:05 AM. An examination of the exterior from the back of the chair. Some flying lunches at the bird feeder. Twitching my tail and muttering to myself, fixated on them. Of course they're oblivious to me.

7:14 AM. Waiting on the staff to get downstairs and see to my breakfast. After all, I don't have all day to wait, and she'll be going off to that work place sooner or later...

7:18 AM. Come on, staff, what's taking you? Do I have to come up there and meow?

7:23 AM. The staff finally makes her way down stairs. It's about time, staff.

7:24 AM. Explaining to the staff about my requirements for breakfast. While I certainly appreciate milk and meat for my breakfast, I must remind you that the field rations are not welcome. So it's time for you to stop buying it. Are we understood on that?

7:26 AM. The staff has put my breakfast down on the floor. The plate of tuna and bowl of milk are a welcome sight. The bowl of field rations is not.

7:28 AM. Finished with breakfast. I have ignored the field rations. Will leave the staff to have her breakfast in peace.

7:36 AM. Sitting on the back of the couch. Somewhere in the distance I can hear the barking of that foul mutt from down the road. Stupid dog.

7:46 AM. The staff is heading out for the day. Staff, I would remind you we are running low on milk.

7:49 AM. The staff has departed the property in the car. 

Now then, what's on the schedule for today?

8:02 AM. Watching the Weather Channel. Grown adults are talking about what sort of weather Santa is going to be dealing with in a few nights.

Come on. There are no kids watching this. And Santa doesn't exist.

8:35 AM. Have spent some time watching the flying lunches. Since I can't go outside and chase them, I might as well take a nap.

11:49 AM. Waking up from my nap. Slept well. Feeling a bit hungry.

11:51 AM. Disappointed to find that there's only field rations in the kitchen.

Oh well, might as well make do.

1:30 PM. Woken up out of a perfectly good nap by the barking of that foul mutt from down the road. A check of the clock determines that he's barking at the mailman, no doubt.

2:47 PM. Checking the calendar. Note to self: hopefully the staff doesn't invite any of her idiot relations over for the holidays. I really don't like going into hiding for three days.

4:53 PM. The staff arrives home, bearing groceries.

You remembered the milk, right?

5:00 PM. Supervising the staff while she puts groceries away. Ah, yes. There's the milk. Good.

6:35 PM. Dinner with the staff. She's made apple and bacon pancakes, and has cut up a couple into nice bite sized pieces just for me. Very good, staff. Very good indeed.

8:21 PM. The staff is busy putting up the Christmas tree. I am supervising, and planning my first climbing routes to the top.

9:34 PM. Staff? Can we please turn off the Christmas music? I don't want to listen to Mariah Carey sing that awful song.

11:30 PM. The staff is off to bed. Good night, staff, and sleep well.

I may knock an ornament or two off the tree in the night for no reason.