Cheating Cheaters And Coldplay

 

Fallout Continues From Affair Exposed During Coldplay Concert; Man Refuses To Accept Responsibility

Boston (AP) Weeks after a Coldplay concert launched a thousand memes, the aftermath continues to resonate. Former Astronomer CEO Andy Byron and his HR side piece Kristin Cabot were caught cuddling on a jumbotron at a concert by the band in Boston, despite both being in other relationships. Both have lost their jobs, their relationships, and their dignity. 

It started with the pair reacting badly to realizing that they were on a jumbotron having an intimate interlude, and reacting by trying to hide. This was followed by Chris Martin, the band's lead singer, joking that they must be having an affair.

Their spouses have declared war, hired lawyers, and in short order have taken steps to end the marriages. Byron was swiftly removed from his position, with Cabot following shortly after, both humiliated by the storm of memes that followed. And there were many, inspired by their ludicrous reactions to being caught on screen. Many have said that if they hadn't reacted the way they did, no one would be wiser to it.

Byron has been criticized for public statements that appear to show him being out of touch and refusing to take responsibility for his own failings. He has lashed out at the band for putting him in that situation, and has mused about suing them for distress. Lawyers have said a collective "good luck" to that.

As noted, memes have been launched, with the world finding the entire matter amusing. Re-enactments on jumbotron screens with unlikely pairings and exaggerated overplay of their behaviour have been the rule of the day. Coldplay themselves welcome the attention being sent their way. Now even Hollywood is getting in on the action. A project was announced this week through the Hallmark Channel. Alison Bennett, part of the creative team for the network, released this statement on the company website. "We are entering production for a new film inspired by the moment. Our heroine is a wronged wife who takes her ex-husband to the cleaners and wipes him out financially after he and his mistress are caught in their affair during a concert. She decides to go back to her home town, where she meets the local sheriff, who's a gruff charmer, and she spends the rest of the film falling in love with him, saving her dad's bakery, and learning the value of a more quiet life."

Isn't that the plot of every Hallmark movie? And with pretty much the same rotating list of actors?

And the bigger studios are getting in on the action too. Michael Bay, the director of such explosion prone films like Armageddon and Pearl Harbor, is rushing into production a thriller inspired by the story. "It's kind of based on the whole story, but really takes things in its own direction," Bay said in a Zoom meeting with reporters. "My villain is a disgraced former CEO of a tech company who got caught cheating on his wife with someone in his company, and who loses everything. His job, his home, his money, his reputation, everything. And he decides to take it out on the band who he blames for it, and goes after Aerosmith at a concert, with bombs. And only one smart aleck bomb disposal expert with the New York Police Department can save the day. Sounds great, huh?"

There's even another version being brought forward by the studios. Paramount has greenlit a romantic comedy, switching out names of the key players and having a bit more dramatic license than the real events. Richard Gere has already signed up as the disgraced CEO, with Julianne Moore as his lover and HR specialist. Julia Roberts will be cast as the wronged wife, who enlists the aid of a laid back lawyer to even the score and take her ex to the cleaners. He'll be played by George Clooney, winking at the camera and wooing his client while representing her. The film already has a working title: Coldplayed. 

The choice of director for the film is an unusual one, as he's mostly been known for character dramas, and more recently for insightful documentaries. Werner Herzog, director of Grizzly Man and Cave Of Forgotten Dreams, agreed to the film without reservation. "I've never done a comedy, and to be honest, when I first heard this story, I fell about laughing. So why not poke the bear and go ahead and do it?"

Time will tell about all three projects. In the meantime, humiliation remains the order of the day for the unlucky couple, who aren't saying much of anything. They're too busy doing damage control- and in the case of Byron, doing it badly.