They are the bane of my existence. And yours. They never stop, no matter how many times they've been ridiculed, no matter how many times they are not replied to. They can't find an honest way to make a living. They infest our spam email, and infest our comments with spam. And it never ends. I speak, of course, of that foul subspecies of humanity we call homo sapiens spammeritis annoyingus, the internet scammer and spammer. Such is the case with the following, which came through to my email recently.
Hello Friend,
I am Mr. Eric Kabanda, Lawyer by Profession, however this correspondent is private. I am a financial consultant to an investor from a Mineral-Rich Africa Country with a political background who wants to invest outside his Country.
As stated above, my client had approached me with a mandate to seek for a firm or reputable well-established individual that has the experience in investment management that can help him channel some funds into a profitable investment outside Africa, where he can get good yield for his money.
Due to the sensitive position he holds in his Country and the unstable
investment environment. My client has decided not to retain any of his assets in his country. Kindly let me know your acceptance of this offer and furnish me with a comprehensive draft of your terms and conditions.
Yours Sincerely
Eric Kabanda
I am Mr. Eric Kabanda, Lawyer by Profession, however this correspondent is private. I am a financial consultant to an investor from a Mineral-Rich Africa Country with a political background who wants to invest outside his Country.
As stated above, my client had approached me with a mandate to seek for a firm or reputable well-established individual that has the experience in investment management that can help him channel some funds into a profitable investment outside Africa, where he can get good yield for his money.
Due to the sensitive position he holds in his Country and the unstable
investment environment. My client has decided not to retain any of his assets in his country. Kindly let me know your acceptance of this offer and furnish me with a comprehensive draft of your terms and conditions.
Yours Sincerely
Eric Kabanda
Oh, sure, right. That's believable. About as believable as any other scam email I receive. We see the standard over formal tone, the capitalization of words that don't need it, and the third world setting involving an official who wants to move some money abroad and needs help.
Uh huh.
All that's missing is the usual money amount that's meant to entice the gullible.
You want my terms and conditions, friend? Okay, here they are.
Terms are as follows: eat dirt. Conditions: die.
Does that clear it up for you? Or was that too blunt for you to deal with? Because in some ways, I can be fairly blunt, especially in dealing with people I really don't like.
And I really don't like internet scammers or spammers.
Where's a well aimed lightning bolt when you need one?
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Comments and opinions always welcome. If you're a spammer, your messages aren't going to last long here, even if they do make it past the spam filters. Keep it up with the spam, and I'll send Dick Cheney after you.