A Day In The Life Of A Cat

 And now it is time for the cat to have her say, because she must always have the last word.

7:05 AM. Waking up. A big stretch and a yawn. Slept well. Dreamed of catnip. So much catnip.

7:08 AM. Examining the exterior pre-dawn through the windows. More snow in the night. And more to come, no doubt.

7:14 AM. Waiting on the staff to get down here and start seeing to my breakfast. After all, I have a busy day planned. In between naps.

7:22 AM. The staff finally gets downstairs. I begin to remind her of my breakfast requirements.

7:23 AM. ....and furthermore, staff, let's knock it off with giving me field rations. You and I both know that I don't like them anyway and will make a point of rejecting them. So why do you persist in pouring a bowl of them?

7:25 AM. The staff has put my breakfast down. The bowl of milk and plate of tuna are approved of.

I shall ignore the bowl of field rations. 

7:27 AM. Finished with breakfast. Have ignored the field rations as planned. 

7:35 AM. Off in the distance, I can hear barking. It's that foul hound from down the road.

What an idiot.

7:43 AM. The staff is on her way out the door. Very well, staff. Do be mindful of the weather. And remember to bring milk home from the store, in case we're stranded for a few days.

8:01 AM. Watching the Weather Channel. They're predicting Snowmaggedon again.

Come on, people, less drama. 

8:32 AM. Dozing on a windowsill overlooking the back yard, feeling content.

8:35 AM. Movement has caught my eye.... something on the property.... wait a minute, it's that idiot mutt!

8:36 AM. Telling off that dog and warning him to get off my property or there will be hell to pay.

Get out, foul hound! You heard me!

8:37 AM. The dog has withdrawn back into the woods. The sooner the better.

I hate dogs.

9:07 AM. Okay, so I've been up for two whole hours already.

Time for a well deserved nap.

11:39 AM. Waking up. Feeling a bit peckish.

11:41 AM. After much internal debate in the kitchen, I shall have to make do and have some of the field rations.

11:45 AM. Dismayed by having to resort to eating field rations.

1:32 PM. My nap is disturbed by the distant barking of that foul hound. It's mailman time again, and that schmuck doesn't get that the guy is just doing his job.

4:48 PM. The staff returns home. Well done, staff, just ahead of the blizzard.

Did you remember the milk?

4:52 PM. Supervising the staff as she unpacks groceries. I approve of the milk.

6:36 PM. Dinner with the staff. She's made apple pancakes, and has given me a plateful, cut up into bite sized pieces. Very good, staff.

8:25 PM. Lying on the couch in the living room, pondering the great mysteries of existence. Is the purr the meaning of life?

11:30 PM. The staff is off to bed. Very well, staff, good night. But keep the door open. I reserve all rights to run around at three in the morning, and I will not be denied because of a closed door.