The Curse Of The Internet Scammers

 They are a vile and loathsome lot, and serve no purpose in life. They contaminate our email junk folders with get rich schemes and spam we couldn't care less about. They try to spam our comments with off topic nonsense that proves they're not paying any attention to what we're actually saying. I speak, of course, of that cursed sub-species of humanity otherwise known as homo sapiens spammeritis annoyingus, aka the internet scammer. This came through my email recently.

Please i need your help

GREETINGS AND BLESSINGS OF THE DAY TO YOU, I am Miss. Jane konan, Please can i trust you? to assist me to invest my inheritance fund in your country? and to help me to come over to your country for the betterment of my life and continue my education. I will be happy to hear from you.

Please, get back to me via my private email address:( missjanekonan1@att.net ).for more information.

BEST REGARDS,
MISS.JANE KONAN.

Well, this one is shorter than some of the essay length crap I tend to see. But the tell-tales of the spammer are clear to see. She (he, or it) starts out with all capitals in a sentence, which comes across as screaming. There are punctuation and capitalization issues in this brief bit of nonsense, such as putting a period after Miss, and not capitalizing the surname. You'd think they'd know this, but of course, Jane Konan isn't their real name.

They ask if they can trust me. About as much as I'd trust you, which is not at all. Because if this was real (it's not), I'd be rifling through that fake inheritance inside of a minute.

I mean, why not? It's the sort of thing whoever is on the other side of this long line of email addresses is willing to do to the poor sucker who actually believes it. Once they've got them hooked, they'll mention the 'processing fees' or 'administrative fee' of a few thousand dollars that must be sent first to free up that money. They're perfectly willing to screw people over that way.

But at any rate, I don't buy it. I've seen this all too often, and am wise to your ways.

Nice try, numbskull. You really must be desperate if you keep doing this, as opposed to... oh, finding an honest way to make a living. But it won't work on me. Maybe you'll get lucky and one or two people in that list of half a million random email addresses you've sent this off to will be dumb enough to believe it, and dumb enough to send that 'administrative fee'. 

Or maybe you'll just do the world a favour and drop into Middle Earth and run into this guy.