Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, November 18, 2024

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

 It is time once again for the perspective of the dog and the cat. As always in these matters, the dog gets the first word in, since he's so easily distracted by literally everything.


7:07 AM. Waking up at home. Taking a big stretch. Slept well. Dreamed of chasing squirrels.


7:10 AM. A look outside. Snow falling. Well, the forecasters were saying we'd get more snow than usual this year. That's a good thing. I like playing in the snow. And jumping. And rolling around in it.

But first things first, breakfast.


7:17 Patiently waiting on the human to get downstairs and start seeing to my breakfast. After all, I can't open cupboards myself.


7:20 AM. The human comes downstairs. I thump my tail on the floor in greetings. Good morning, human! It's a fine day, isn't it? Say, have you given any thought to getting my breakfast ready?


7:22 AM. The human is pouring me a big bowl of kibbles.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy......


7:23 AM. Licking my chops after polishing off breakfast. That was good!


7:26 AM. Making inquiries with the human about letting me out for a run. I've got plenty of energy to burn off before my next nap, after all.


7:28 AM. Out the door and on my way. See you later, human!!!


7:35 AM. Running through the back fields, barking my head off, as happy as I can be. 


7:52 AM. Stopping in to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. Hey, Spike!


7:53 AM. After the customary doggie greetings, Spike and I get down to discuss the important issues of the day. Equations of velocity and wind speed in intercepting squirrels. The true agenda of the mailmen. The consistency of kibble.


7:58 AM. Spike tells me that his humans have already started decorating for the Christmas holidays. It's like, what? A month away? Isn't that way too early?


8:01 AM. Well, Spike, I'm really hoping that my human doesn't invite any of those annoying relatives of hers. Those kids think I'm a horse and make a point of following me everywhere....


8:05 AM. Parting ways with Spike to head for home. See you later, Spike!


8:12 AM. Pausing in my steps in the woods. Up ahead.... it's a squirrel.

Pursuit mode engaged in five, four, three...


8:13 AM. Barking my head off, chasing the squirrel. The chase takes us across the stream and ends with him darting up a tree. Bastard!


8:21 AM. After several minutes circling around the bottom of the tree, waiting on the squirrel to descend, I have now given up. Sooner or later, squirrel, you're going to get what's coming to you.

You hear me? You're going to get yours!!!


8:34 AM. Barking to let the human know I've returned. Human! Loki, Annoyer of Squirrels and Chewer of Slippers has returned.


8:35 AM. Subjected to the Towel of Torment before I can sneak my way inside. Human, why can't I dry natural by the fireplace? I've told you many times, there is no such thing as wet dog smell.


10:45 AM. Mooching a cookie off the human while she has coffee.


1:31 PM. Barking at the mailman from the living room window as he drops off the mail and drives away.

Get lost, you fiend!!!


6:35 PM. Dinner with the human. She's made pizza and has cut up a couple of slices into nice bite sized pieces just for me. Very good!


11:23 PM. The human is off to bed. Good night, human. Sleep well. 

I'll likely be doing zoomies at three in the morning.

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