A Day In The Life Of A Cat

 And so it is time for the cat to have her say, for she must as always have the last word in these matters.

7:05 AM. Waking up. Big stretch and a yawn. Slept well. Dreamed of the largest field of catnip I've ever seen.

7:08 AM. An examination of the exterior conditions from the back of the couch. Looks like a chilly morning, but it's supposed to warm up some. Flying lunches are pecking around in the grass. Consider yourselves fortunate I'm not out there.

7:12 AM. Come on, staff, what is taking you? I've been up for an entire seven minutes and you're still upstairs instead of down here seeing to my breakfast. 

7:23 AM. The staff finally makes her way downstairs. It's about time, staff. Now then, how about breakfast?

7:24 AM. Explaining my precise needs and wants to the staff, who so often gets it all wrong. Staff, I would remind you that I do not like field rations. Are we clear on that?

7:26 AM. The staff sets my breakfast down on the floor. The bowl of milk and plate of chicken are much appreciated. The bowl of field rations is not.

7:27 AM. Finished with breakfast. I shall leave the staff in peace and quiet to have hers.

7:40 AM. Somewhere off in the distance, I can hear the barking of that foul hound from down the road. 

7:46 AM. The staff is on her way out the door to that work place she always goes to. Staff? Just a reminder, we seem to be running low on milk.

7:48 AM. The staff drives off in the car. Okay, then, what's on the agenda for today?

8:02 AM. Watching the Weather Channel. They're expecting a colder winter than normal. And how is that a problem?

8:37 AM. Have done my rounds of the house. I believe a nap is in order.

11:49 AM. Waking up. Feeling a bit hungry.

11:52 AM. Oh, right. All that's left is that bowl of field rations.

Oh well, when in Rome....

1:30 PM. More barking from that idiot mutt down the road. The mailman must be dropping off mail.

1:45 PM. Deciding to watch some television. Oh. Baseball. Okay, let's try this.

2:23 PM. I'd heard the White Sox were doing really bad this year, but this is appalling.

4:50 PM. Off goes the television. The Sox lost thirty seven to zero. That's a whupping. 

5:12 PM. The staff arrives home. Well, staff, it's about time. Here I was about to send a search party out for you. Did you remember the milk?

5:20 PM. Supervising the staff while she puts groceries away. Good, good. The milk meets with my approval. So does the catnip.

6:32 PM. Dinner with the staff. She's made lasagna for herself, but has set aside a plate of ground beef for me. I don't see why you ruin perfectly good meat with pasta sauce anyway...

8:47 PM. Pondering the great mysteries of life. Wondering what it is about someone who's so dumb that he wants to pick a fight with childless cat ladies.

11:20 PM. The staff is off to bed. Good night, staff. Sleep well.

But as always, keep the door open. I have zoomies scheduled at two thirty in the morning, after all.