Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, March 25, 2024

A Day In The Life Of A Cat

And so it is time for the cat to have her say. As she is a supreme being of the world, she always demands to have the last word in these things.

7:06 AM. Waking up at home. Slept well. Dreamed of watching a swift river and seeing a skateboarder fall into it. How amusing.

7:09 AM. An examination of the exterior via the back of the couch. Some flying lunches out there. They say this is spring, but the days have still been cool. Well, to be fair, this is Canada.

7:12 AM. Waiting on the staff to get downstairs and see to my breakfast. This is one of those things that I can't do myself, after all. And anyway, serving me is her purpose in life.

7:18 AM. Come on, staff, I know you're awake. How long does it take you to get ready for the day anyway?

7:23 AM. The staff finally comes downstairs. It's about time, staff. Are you aware that I've been up for a whole seventeen minutes, and haven't had breakfast yet?

7:25 AM. Impatiently watching the staff as she prepares my breakfast.I sigh with dismay as I hear the all too familiar sound of field rations being poured into a bowl.

7:26 AM. The staff sets my breakfast down on the floor. I very much approve of the bowl of milk and plate of chicken. I disapprove of the bowl of field rations. Oh well, these things happen.

7:28 AM. I have finished breakfast. Ignoring the field rations entirely. Leaving the staff to have her breakfast in peace. 

7:32 AM. Watching things outside from the back of the couch. Somewhere off in the distance, that foul hound is barking his head off.

7:45 AM. The staff is heading off to that work place she goes to the better part of the week.

Staff? Remember to buy some milk and catnip.

7:47 AM. Watching as the staff drives out of the driveway in the car. Okay then, what's on the schedule for today? Aside from naps.

8:02 AM. Watching the Weather Channel. Forecast says it's still going to be cool for a few days, through the Easter weekend. The forecaster actually holds a straight face while saying the Easter Bunny might be dealing with snow.

Come on. There's no such thing as an Easter Bunny.

8:28 AM. Okay, then, I've been awake sufficiently long now. Time for a well deserved nap.

10:45 AM. Waking up. Another good sleep. You can never have too many naps, if you ask me, and you are asking me.

10:47 AM. An examination of the kitchen reminds me that the only food out in the open is that bowl of field rations.

So hungry....

Oh, well. I'll have to make do with that.

12:03 PM. The noon news has led off with a story about a skateboarder drowning in the Niagara River while doing a stunt. 

Hey, wait a minute.... isn't that what I dreamed of?

Am I psychic? 

Quick! Envision that idiot dog getting skunked and it might happen!

1:31 PM. Woken up out of a perfectly good nap by the sound of that foul mutt from down the road barking his bloody head off. Mailman must be doing the rounds.

1:34 PM. Watching out a window as the mailman drops some stuff off at our mailbox. Well, my mailbox, since I own the staff and the property, but really, the mail all goes to her anyway.

I wonder why that dog can't just accept that you're only doing your job.

Of course. He's an idiot.

4:58 PM. Woke up from another nap. Sound of the car door closing. Sitting up and taking a stretch. The staff must be home.

5:00 PM. The staff comes in with grocery bags. Good afternoon, staff. Long day?

5:10 PM. Su-purr-vising the staff while she puts groceries away. More milk. Yes, very good, staff, very good indeed.

5:30 PM. The staff is busy making dinner. Ground beef is involved. This I approve of.

6:27 PM. Dinner with the staff. She's made herself potatoes and carrots to go with her meat loaf. She's cut up some slices of meat loaf for me, which I am now occupied in eating.

Very good, staff, very good indeed.

11:41 PM. The staff is off to bed. Good night, staff. Sleep well. 

Keep the door open. I'm scheduling zoomies for four in the morning.


  1. I have a feeling you like dogs better. LOL! So does my husband.

  2. Hooray! The cat is back! Though I love the dog too.

  3. Great collection of cats saying what they really are thinking! As well as your narrative of your own feline? Most enjoyable.

  4. As you said: Cats rule, dogs drool.

  5. Love the CATS ! chose not to understand commands.


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