Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, December 4, 2023

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

It is time once again for the point of view of the dog and the cat. As is always the case, I begin with the perspective of the dog, who has such a short attention span.

7:05 AM. Waking up. Not dawn yet. Boy, these days are sure short.

7:07 AM. An examination of the outside from the window doesn't show much of anything. Not that it doesn't mean there's nothing out there. Like squirrels. I hate squirrels.

7:12 AM. Waiting patiently for the human to get downstairs. After all, she'll need to see to my breakfast at some point. Because I lack the opposable thumbs to open cupboard doors.

7:22 AM. The human comes downstairs. I furiously pound my tail against the floor in greetings. Good morning, human! What a great day!

Say, have you given any thought to my breakfast?

7:24 AM. The human is pouring a big bowl of kibbles for me.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy....

7:25 AM. Licking my chops after finishing off breakfast at damned near my fastest ever time.

That was good!

7:29 AM. Inquiring with the human as to if she'll let me out for my run now.

7:31 AM. Out the door and on my way. See you later, human!

7:45 AM. Running through the snow, like a one dog wrecking crew....

8:02 AM. Stopping by to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. Hey, Spike!

8:03 AM. After the usual doggie greetings, Spike and I begin to confer on matters of the highest importance. Quality control for chewing bones. What the squirrels are up to with their hoarding of nuts. What evil plan the mailman might unleash upon us all today.

8:05 AM. Spike advises that his people will have company for Christmas.

I hope they won't be kids, Spike, because kids can be so tiring on a good dog.

And we are good dogs.

Very good dogs.

Despite what the vet might say.

8:10 AM. Parting ways with Spike, who says he'll keep me updated on whenever the mailman breezes past his place.

8:28 AM. Passing through the woods.  I'm near the spot where that cranky cat lives.

8:32 AM. Walking onto the property through the snow.

8:33 AM. Movement at one of the windows. It's that cranky cat, hissing at me and spewing all sorts of rage and allegations about me.

I didn't know cats know that many swear words.

8:36 AM. Discretion being the better part of valour, I think I'd better leave.

I will never understand cats.

8:55 AM. Barking at the door to let the human know I'm back.

8:57 AM. The human intercepts me with the Towel of Torment before I can dash inside.

10:21 AM. Waking up from a nap in time to mooch a cookie from the human.

12:10 PM. Lunch with the human. She's kind enough to give me a ham and cheese sandwich.

6:38 PM. Dinner with the human. Pancakes! No complaints out of me there. I love pancakes.

11:22 PM. The human is off to bed. Good night, human! Sleep well.

I'll keep guard down here through the night.

In between naps.


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