Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, December 11, 2023

A Day In The Life Of A Cat

And as always, the cat gets the last say in these matters. She is, after all, a supreme being and must be respected as such. 


7:04 AM. Waking up. Slept exceedingly well. Dreamed of vast fields of catnip and scratching posts.


7:07 AM. On the back of the couch looking outside. Still too dark to make much of anything out there. Oh well. That's a common problem this time of year. 


7:12 AM. Waiting on the staff to get downstairs. She must be seeing to my breakfast post haste, after all. Because serving my needs and whims is her purpose in life.


7:17 AM. Come on, staff, what's taking you so long? Do I have to come up there and meow at you?


7:20 AM. The staff finally gets downstairs. It's about time, staff. I was this close to sending a search party out for you. Now then. Have you put any thought to my breakfast yet?


7:21 AM. ....and once again, staff, for the record, and I need you to understand me on this one. No field rations! Are we understood? Meat and milk suit me just fine for breakfast.


7:23 AM. The staff puts my breakfast down on the floor. The plate of meat and bowl of milk are much appreciated.

The bowl of field rations is not.


7:25 AM. Have finished off breakfast. Completely ignoring the field rations. I shall leave the staff to have her breakfast in peace.


7:34 AM. Somewhere off in the distance comes the barking of that foul hound

I must say, not feeling all that goodwill on earth to all thing where dogs are concerned.


7:40 AM. The staff is on her way out the door to that work place she goes to.

Don't forget the milk on your way home, staff.


8:02 AM. Watching the Weather Channel. They're forecasting another thirty centimetres of snow during the night. 

Whilst I'm snug as a bug in a rug.

What does that saying even mean?


8:32 AM. Sitting on the back of the couch, looking out through the yard. Movement on the property draws my eye. 

It's that idiot dog! On my property!


8:33 AM. Hissing and cursing at the idiot dog, who true to his reputation is staring at me with an expression that suggests he doesn't have a single brain cell between his ears.

Get lost!!


8:36 AM. The dog finally walks off back to the woods.

And don't you come back here again!

Foul mutt.


8:45 AM. I've been up over an hour and three quarters. I'd say it's a good time for a well earned nap.


11:59 AM. Waking up. Big stretch and a yawn. 


12:02 PM. An examination of the kitchen has found that the only food out in the open is that bowl of field rations.

Oh well. When in Rome...


2:27 PM. Feeling a compulsion to have a bit of a workout with the scratching post.


2:28 PM. Giving the post a good scratch.

Just realizing there's residual catnip on the fabric, being set loose by my clawing.

Catnip frenzy in three, two, one...


4:46 PM. Waking up. Catnip frenzy led to zoomies through the entire house seven times over. Slept like the dead.

Wonder if I knocked anything over this time?


5:15 PM The staff comes home. Well, staff, it took you long enough. Do you have any milk with you?


6:38 PM. Dinner with the staff. She's made meat loaf, and has cut up a couple of slices for me into nice bite sized pieces. Very good, staff, very good indeed.


11:40 PM. The staff is off to bed after an evening spent decorating the Christmas tree.

I shall be spending the evening down here.

Plotting various routes to the summit.

16 comments:

  1. So many wonderful ones I loved them all ! Sons adopted old cat loves her paper bag !

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  2. Love them! Saved one to put on a coffee mug.

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  3. These are so amusing...tickled my kitty fancy!

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  4. Wonderful cat wisdom. As always. Thanks, William!

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  5. Fantastic. I have 4 cats and I know what these messages mean. I am woken up at around 5 am every morning by Brownie (one of my 4) for food. She won't give me peace until she gets her due so early in the morning.

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  6. What fun... I had a great time even though I don't have a cat...
    many greetings to you.
    Have a relaxing weekend.
    Thanks Viola

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