Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Sunday, June 25, 2023

A Day In The Life Of A Cat

And now it is time for the cat to have her say, for as a supreme being, she must always have the last word in everything.

6:57 AM. Waking up and taking a big stretch. Slept well. Dreamed of fields of catnip.

7:03 AM. Examining the exterior from the back of the couch. Some flying lunches pecking around on the grass. Sun's been up for a long while already. It's too early in the day to wake up if you ask me, and you are asking me.

7:09 AM. Wondering how long it'll take for the staff to get down here and start seeing to my breakfast. 

7:15 AM. Come on, staff, I know you're awake, get down here and feed me!

7:24 AM. The staff finally comes downstairs. It's about time, staff, I was about to come up there and yell. Did you know I've been awake nearly a half hour and haven't eaten yet?

7:26 AM. Issuing instructions to the staff on specifics for my breakfast. 

7:27 AM. ...and by the way, staff, just to be absolutely clear, there is to be no bowl of field rations involved in my breakfast. Do we understand each other?

7:29 AM. The staff puts my breakfast down on the floor. A bowl of milk and a plate of chicken meet with my approval. The bowl of field rations does not.

7:32 AM. Have finished my breakfast. I have entirely ignored the bowl of field rations in the hope that my staff might someday understand my disdain. 

I shall leave her to have her breakfast in peace.

7:35 AM. Somewhere off in the distance I can hear the barking of that foul hound from down the road.

He'd better not come onto my property, or there'll be hell to pay...

7:42 AM. The staff is on her way out the door to go to that work place. Staff? A reminder that we're running low on milk.

7:45 AM. The staff is on her way, leaving the driveway. Now then, as I'll be alone for a few hours, planning out the day and how to occupy myself must be seen to.

Naps will be a priority.

8:12 AM. Barking off in the distance disturbs my reverie. I get up on the windowsill and look, but there's no sign of that foul hound on my property. Something appears to have him agitated.


8:20 AM. The barking continues, and sounds like it's relatively stationary. Just as long as he doesn't think of coming here.

8:30 AM. It appears that the dog has stopped barking. I wonder what got him so mad.

My compliments to the cause of it.

8:42 AM. Okay, all things being as they are, I think that a nap is called for at this point in the morning.

11:32 AM. Waking up. Big yawn and a stretch. Feeling a bit hungry.

11:33 AM. Oh, that's right. The only food still in the open is that bowl of field rations.

Oh well. When in need....

1:30 PM. Distant barking from that foul hound from down the road, barking at the mailman.

Has it occurred to you that he's only doing his job?

2:23 PM. Starting to have a case of the zoomies. Will have to sprint through the entire house.

4:45 PM. Waking up from another nap that was well earned after I dashed through every room of the house at maximum speed.

5:29 PM. The staff arrives at home. It's about time, staff. Tell me, did you bring milk?

5:32 PM. Supervising the staff while she unpacks the groceries. Good, very good. Two cartons of milk.

6:24 PM. Dinner with the staff. Bacon apple pancakes are very much approved of by me, if you ask me, and you are asking me.

8:48 PM. Pondering some of life's great mysteries. What is the meaning of the ball of string?

11:20 PM. The staff is off to bed. Good night, staff, sleep well.

Keep the door open, because I'll most likely be walking all over you at three in the morning.


  1. That "last cat of the day" had me goggle eyed.

  2. At last! The continuing saga of the cat and the staff. But please, no more of those field rations, staff. Perhaps some juicy hamburger instead. Thank you. Oh and tell William thank you, too, when you see him.

  3. Yeah! Cats have their own rules.

  4. I have missed this... the" last cat of the day" was perfect.

  5. Purrlock Holmes! Purrfect!

    And I too have cats who wake me up to feed them and then go off to nap. Sigh.


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