Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, June 13, 2022

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

Once again it's time for the dog and the cat to have their say. And so I begin with the perspective of the hound, who, after all, gets so easily distracted by everything.

6:32 AM. Waking up at home. Already light out. Daylight lasts so long this time of year. Lots of time to go for a run and get into trouble. Not that I get in trouble. Because I'm a good dog. A very good dog.

6:43 AM. Wondering when the human's going to get downstairs. I am expecting breakfast after all.

6:51 AM. The human comes downstairs. I start furiously thumping my tail against the floor as greetings. Good morning, human! Fine day out there, isn't it? Say, have you given any thought to my breakfast?

6:54 AM. The human is pouring me a big bowl of kibbles.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy....

6:55 AM. Have finished off breakfast. That was good!

7:03 AM. Making inquiries with the human as to opening up the door for me to go have a run.

7:05 AM. The human opens the back door and off I go. See you later, human!

7:21 AM. Running through the back fields, barking my head off, as pleased as I can be. Life is good.

7:36 AM. Stopping by to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. Hey, Spike!

7:37 AM. After the customary doggie greetings, Spike and I begin to confer on matters of the greatest importance. Quality control at the places that make kibble. The maximum velocity of a terrified mailman on foot while being chased by one of us. Just what the squirrels are up to.

7:40 AM. Spike tells me that his humans are having company over on the weekend. Which includes children.

Spike, brother... if you need to hide, you're welcome over at my place.

7:43 AM. Parting ways with Spike. He assures me he'll give me warning as to when the mailman turns up at his place.

Unless he's taking a nap.

Well, we all know naps are a critical part of any good dog's day.

7:51 AM. Making my way through the woods along a pathway. As content as I can be.

7:52 AM. Coming around a bend. A big slow lumbering moving rock is ahead of me. No, wait, that's a turtle. They always move this slow. Say, buddy, some of us are in a hurry today....

7:53 AM. The turtle turns to face me- much faster than I expected- and I see that it's a snapping turtle, and it's hissing at me. All told, I think the wisest way out of this situation is to back up and find another way home. 

8:10 AM. Returning home. Barking to let the human know that it's me.

8:12 AM. The human has let me back in. Thanks human. Say, in about an hour or so you might see a snapping turtle come onto the property. Just so you know.

8:58 AM. You know, I think it's a very good time to take a nap right about now.

10:45 AM. Woken out of my nap by the sound of the cookie bin opening.

10:46 AM. Have mooched an oatmeal cookie from the human, who's having one of her own with morning coffee. 

12:31 PM. Lunch with the human. She's given me a ham and cheese sandwich. That's good!

1:28 PM. Barking at the mailman as he drives off from dropping off mail. Don't you ever come back here again!

6:39 PM. Dinner with the human. She's having sloppy joes. She's been kind enough to put some of the meat in my bowl.

Needless to say I'm a happy dog.

7:36 PM. The human and I are watching television. The answer is who is Napoleon.

9:01 PM. Pondering the great mysteries of existence. Why do mailmen exist?

11:38 PM. The human is off to bed. Well, good night, human. Sleep well. I'll keep guard over the house. 

In between naps.


  1. Hilarious, and now that we live with a hound-mix, I understand it's all about distractions. Not only she gets distracted, but she is sneaky and tries to distract us. I also think the neighborhood cat needs to watch out.

  2. I love the Timmy jokes and the German Shepherds especially the puppies.


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