Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Saturday, November 14, 2015

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

Once again it's time for the points of view of the dog and cat, and as always we start off with the day according to the resident hound...

7:26 AM. Waking up. Slept well. Dreamed of chasing my tail. For some strange reason my tail eluded me.

7:28 AM. Taking a look out the living room windows. Oh boy! Snow! Snow! Snow! How wonderful! I’m going to have so much fun today getting out there...

7:31 AM. ....and it looks like the kind of snow that’s going to stick around and not melt on us, so much the better! I can’t wait for the human to get down here so I can go running and playing and jumping in it and having fun and.... oh, wait, breakfast first.

7:37 AM. Good morning, human! Have you looked outside and seen all the fluffy blowing snow? Doesn’t it look wonderful? Say, before we let me out for my morning run, and by we, I mean you, because I don’t have opposable thumbs and can’t open doors. Before we do that, how about some breakfast?

7:40 AM. Wolfing down breakfast. A big bowl of kibbles always hits the spot. Yum yum yum!

7:43 AM. Out the door for my morning run. Dashing through fresh powder. Barking my head off. Woof woof woof!

8:05 AM. Sniffing through the woods. One thing about snow... it tends to make those infernal squirrels rather scarce. 

8:12 AM. Stopping by to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. One of his humans is using the snowplow on the driveway.

8:14 AM. Spike says his human was grumbling about the snow earlier. Well, for some reason not everyone loves winter. I don’t really understand why. Do  you, Spike?

8:23 AM. Taking leave of Spike. We agree to keep each other informed of any sightings of the squirrel enemy by the bark system. Even if it’s at two in the morning.

8:31 AM. Passing by the house where that cranky cat lives. Hey, there she is on a windowsill. Hello, cat! Woof woof!

8:32 AM. The cat snarls and gives me the finger. Fine, be that way.

8:41 AM. Back home. Barking to alert the human to my presence. She opens the door. I rush in and give myself a big shake all over the living room to get rid of the snow all over my fur. 

8:43 AM. Being subjected to the Towel of Torment. Come on, human! I already shook the snow off!

8:51 AM. Circling around three times by the fireplace before settling down on the rug. Time for a nap.

11:33 AM. Waking up. Had good dreams. Cornered a squirrel where he couldn’t escape. And then I woke up.

11:56 AM. The human’s making lunch. I manage to mooch a dinner roll off her. Yum yum yum!

12:21 PM. In the living room. Movement out of the corner of my eye. What’s that? Heading up to the window.... wait a minute. It’s that irritating squirrel out on the windowsill! And he’s looking right at me!

12:22 PM. Barking up a storm. That infernal squirrel is out there laughing at me. Human! Open the door! I have to get out there and get that squirrel!

12:23 PM. Out the door. Tumbling through the snow like a bat out of hell. Whatever that means. Barking my head off. Rounding the corner of the house. There he is, running through the snow. This time I’ve got you!!!!

12:24 PM. The squirrel’s made it up a tree. Curses!!! Now he’s up there chattering away at me and laughing and acting like the world’s his oyster.

12:52 PM. Stalking my way around the tree. That squirrel’s not coming down. Still up there taunting me. Stupid annoying infernal waste of space. Oh, how I hate you!

1:58 PM. Sooner or later, you have to come down, right? Right?

2:45 PM. Well, I’ve had enough of this. Time to go back inside. One of these days, squirrel, you’re going to get sloppy and stupid. And that’s when I’ll be there.

6:31 PM. Dinner with the human. Chowing down on some stewing beef. Yum yum yum!

11:43 PM. Good night, human! Have yourself a good sleep. I’ll stick around down here. In case that squirrel turns up on the windowsill again at three thirty in the morning, I’ve got to be ready to bark up a storm, after all. 


  1. I loved the second to last. Maybe the next kid will be smarter. Hahaha.

  2. Yes, Lassie it is cold ! Forget him.
    Love that one the best.

    cheers, parsnip

  3. Heavens, our Sheltie Collie mix would answer: louv ou Pretty similar to the sound she would make if we said I love you. If you said the word rabbit she was at the door ready to protect us. Love the pictures!

  4. Your humor is in full gear, here. I like both dogs and cats so I can enjoy it when you turn the light on either species. :)

  5. Squirrels are crazy. Have one that tries to jump into my window from time to time. He bounced off it today and into the bush and just looked at me like I was going to open the window. I think not!
    And a cat that can give the one-finger-salute... would like to see that! Hah!
    Enjoyed the post, William

  6. So...we meet again. I know that feeling all too well. It plays in my mind every Monday morning during those dreaded meetings. lol

  7. @Whisk: Lassie must have been sick and tired of Timmy!

    @Parsnip: thank you!

    @Eve: I think of her as demanding and liking things just so. And disliking doggies.

    @Mari: thank you!

    @Lowell: thanks!

    @Lynn: indeed!

    @Lorelei: I was speaking to a squirrel a little earlier. He looked big and fluffy, as if he got himself a whole lot of extra fur for a hard winter.

    @Diane: hah!

  8. Loved the puppy hugging the bear pic. And the pit giving the kitty a lovey.

  9. This was even funnier when you read it aloud at the meeting!

  10. Oh, that Les Chiens Miserables poster was cute!


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