Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Friday, September 9, 2011

All Hail The Feline Overlords

They are our undisputed masters and mistresses. They have, since time immemorial, insinuated themselves into our lives, treating us as mere servants (which we are), demanding worship and fealty. They have shredded our furniture, taken over our households, and generally gone out of their way to remind us at every opportunity that they are the ultimate life form on the planet. And they know they can get away with it because we lowly humans will put up with anything to hear the sound of a purr. 

Yes, I'm speaking of the cat.

Let me point out straight off that I'm a cat person. I like their sensibility. I like their general attitude of disdain. They're an animal with lots of personality (most of the traits being directed in the me myself and I emphasis, of course). I've had cats most of my life at one point or another. As long as you show them the proper deference (calling them Your Majesty, Your Highness, or Your Supreme Majestrix will do), they'll put up with you, lower life form that you are. Consider it a favour.

They can astonish us with their agility, their ability to always land on their feet, how they can stride with dignity and poise across even the smallest of footholds...

Of course, accidents do happen....

And cats being cats... well, they tend to be territorial. If you've ever heard the unholy howl in the night that sounds like World War Three has broken out, well that's the cat from down the street who turned up in the back yard of your neighbour, whose resident feline overlord doesn't like seeing unwanted visitors turning up in the middle of the night. Or the day. Epic battles shall naturally ensue.

And then there's the relationship cats have with their fellow four legged critter, the dog. From time to time it's civil, of course. More often then not, though, there's a permanent state of tension. The dog, of course, either thinks it's a human being, or that human beings are gods. The cat, on the other hand, is absolutely certain that it's a god. Hostilities might crop up from time to time. It's to be expected.

We let them into our lives. They quickly establish themselves as the dominant lifeform in the house. I suspect the sheer cuteness of kitties is the starting point to that process. And soon enough, we find ourselves catering to the slightest whim of these furry deities and their innate curiousity.

We don't even whine when they've gone and shredded that nice item of clothing that we just bought for ourselves? Why not? Because... we know our place.

Besides, one purr and we'll forgive anything.


  1. I get the distinct impression that you like cats.

    They are cute. And any creature that could bend my father to its will is at the very least a demigiod....

  2. I like cats too. They are not nearly as needy as dogs.

  3. Lol! I can never get enough cat pics. I love cats. My allergies have unfortunately gotten worse over the years, so the next time I get a cat, it'll have to have shorter hair. My dad loved cats, so we always had them at his house and I always had some off and on when I grew up. I just LOVE them, for all of the hilareous reasons you mentioned above, especially their attitudes and purring.:)

  4. Meow...meow...meow. These must be the weasels responsible for yesterday's power outage that affected over 4 million people. That second to last photo reminded me....

  5. You know, they say that if you want the best seat in the house, you should move the cat....I love my cats, even when they've hocked up some unidentifiable object onto my floor...I love them with all my heart. They truly are God's creature...

    And, then there's the purring.

  6. BTW, love the picture of the cats all sitting up in the tree like "The Birds"...! That is priceless!

  7. Your blog makes me sneeze.

    But the one that will give me nightmares tonight is the thought of dozens of cats sitting on tree limbs, over our heads, just .... waiting.

  8. This is perfect. My cat Luna has done all those things. Excuse me, but I need to go do my noon set of prostrations before her.

  9. Fun post. I like Cats, but because I keep forgetting to bow, I find they rarely like me!

  10. Great photos. The fuzzy little kittens are the best. And I also like "The Cats". Surely that won't be a horror film?

  11. Ha ha so funny... and so true. My cat once knocked over and broke a brand new bottle of $90 cologne and I forgave him pretty quickly. What else can you do? At least he got some on himself, wreaked for about a week and discovered while trying to clean it off that he does not like the taste of cologne.

  12. Well then do I have the dog for you... Scotties they are the cats of the dog world. Ask any Scottie owner and they will agree.
    They do what they want, come when they want, they have very selective hearing, but most of all will love you forever. They are a hoot !

    Cats love me because they know I am very allergic.
    I love cats and have had two fabulous ones that walked in and adopted us. Can't abide kittens at all though.

    Fun post today

    cheers, parsnip

  13. Lord almighty, what is it with cats and the internets. Go to youtube, look up cats. A cat playing the piano gets 20 million hits. It's ridonkulous.

  14. Every cat I've ever owned can pick out the allergic person in a crowded room, and will make a beeline for his pantlegs.

  15. I love cats. I have had cats all my life. I have 2 cats.. one is fat and cuddly.. the other keeps to himself a lot.
    I created a monster with the fat one ever since I gave him his first ice cube for his water bowl. Now every time I walk in the kitchen, he follows.
    "No, Zippo. I just gave you an ice cube."
    "Oh, alright."

    The little black one plays fetch. I could have the worst day. But a purr and a cuddle from on of my furry friends makes it all okay.

    Thanks for sharing a great post.


  16. I loved this blog! It should be reproduced everywhere! And this is why I have dogs. Darn cats think they own us. The real difference? Cats are geniuses and can trick humans and dogs in one swoop. Dogs sleep all day, cats (pretending to sleep) plan all day.

  17. lol! I chuckled aloud reading this.
    I'm such a cat person too. Having a dog has carved this fact in stone. I've always had cats, always appreciated them and "known my place." But then I went and married a guy who's allergic to them. We had to get rid of our white cat Nimbus. *sad face* Now we have a big slobbery rambunctious dog who thinks he's a person... and yes, I love him too, but it's just not the same. The good news is that I can take the dog camping. My cats never dug camping trips.

  18. I think those plotting cats are my cats.


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