Maestro, It's Time To Kill The Wabbit

Business to see to first. Have a peek over at Norma's blog, where she's showing off some of Collin's memes. He's done these with regularity for her Facebook page, and she's showcasing some of his humour on her blog. And check out our joint blog, where we've set up a series of funny pics following up on that whole royal birth thing. 

Now then, onto today's mischief...

"Music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy." ~ Ludwig von Beethoven

"Never look at the trombones, it only encourages them." ~ Richard Wagner

"Classical music has been based on works people love and come back to for aural comfort." ~ Leila Josefowicz

"I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know. I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland." ~ Woody Allen

"The classical musical world is so snobbish." ~ Andre Rieu, conductor and tormentor of anyone with good taste

"Andre Rieu should be cast back into the seventh circle of hell from where he came." ~ William Kendall, miscreant and scoundrel

My paternal grandparents were not musically inclined. I think their musical appreciation was, to put it mildly, extremely limited. The story goes that my grandfather wondered what the purpose of a conductor was. "Anyone can go up there and wave a stick around for an hour," he'd say. So it was a bit ironic that my dad ended up playing four different musical instruments (unfortunately, not one of them was the bagpipes). Though like his parents, Dad has something of a limited range of musical appreciation. Aside from hymns, he likes march music, Strauss waltzes, and for some inexplicable reason, accordion music (accordions should be cast back into the seventh circle of hell along with Andre Rieu). And speaking of Rieu, Dad does like his concerts, though from my point of view, the Smiling Idiot makes a mockery of the music, has his audience acting like trained seals, and turns everything into a sideshow. He calls his orchestra the Johann Strauss Orchestra. The ghost of Strauss needs to sue him for slandering his name.

Mom, on the other hand, had a pretty well developed appreciation for music, mostly through exploring the world of classical music on her own. She could also appreciate other genres, of course, but classical music was what she loved. I think I picked up quite a bit of my own fondness of it from her over time. I like the sound of a fully developed orchestra, so the earlier works from the Baroque period don't particularly appeal to me. But the full blooded sound of Beethoven and onwards, now that's music.

Mom mentioned the conductor Seiji Ozawa from time to time. Born and raised in Japan, he's conducted orchestras all over the world. He came from a culture of emotional restraint, and over time he learned the value of emotional expressiveness. So you see a difference in him from footage early in his career to late in his career, a full range of expression in his face during a concert. It's one of those things I've been thinking about as of late... perhaps it's been the sheer amount of classical music I've been listening to while working...

On Canada Day here in Ottawa, the National Arts Centre plays host to a concert each year, open freely to the public. It's a mix of classical, choral, and traditional Canadian music.  This year the concert was held in one of the other halls in the complex, and my seating was on the far right... close enough to the bass players to read their music notes. That is, if I were able to read sheet music.

The National Arts Centre Orchestra performs this annual concert along with massed choirs and a solo musician as of late. Last year it was the fiddler Natalie MacMaster. This year it was Sarah Slean. If you haven't heard of Sarah before, she has a sultry and playful voice, and a rich storyteller's talent in her writing. Her music also lends itself well to orchestral accompaniment, and she and the NACO played together. 

The orchestra has more than one conductor. Pinchas Zuckerman is the primary conductor, one of the best in the world, and a renowned violinist in his own right. Since he started with the NACO, he has taken the musicians across the country and the world regularly, into classrooms, engaging youth, building up the talent base of young musicians. On Canada Day, the conductor of the day was a Canadian, Alain Trudel. I watched as he conducted the orchestra, the concentration on his face. One of the other works being played that evening was the final movement of Dvorak's New World Symphony. Again, my grandfather would have watched him conduct, and said, "Well, anyone can do that." Sorry, Grandfather, but that's work.

I can listen to many different kinds of music and find something to appreciate in most of it (with the exception of hip-hop, rap, and metal). It's still my mother's influence that gets me to love the sound of classical music though. So I can watch something like Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, and say that it's the closest to perfection any human being has ever gotten to.

It's been said that if you can listen to Rossini's William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger, then you can count yourself as an actual classical fan, as opposed to someone who saw way too many westerns as a kid. Since that show was before my time, I don't particularly associate the two together. Incidentally, that music does turn up in Hans Zimmer's score for the movie remake. Go figure.

Though yes, I will admit to it... too many viewings of Looney Tunes cartoons has had its influence. When I hear the familiar bars of Wagner's Ride Of The Valkyries, I inevitably find myself thinking, Kill The Wabbit, Kill The Wabbit, Kill The Wabbit!!

Benefits of a misspent youth, I know.

So what about you? Do you listen to classical music? Or is it fingernails on a blackboard to you (heathen!! Heathen, I say!)?

The Smiling Idiot, Bob the Mumbler, And Musical Mayhem

"If music be the food of love, play on. Give me excess of it." ~ Orsino, Twelfth Night

"The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke, but the Scots haven't got the joke yet." ~ Oliver Herford

"Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings." ~ Robert Benchley

"Listen, lads, I think the song's really smashing, but there's just one thing we've got to change before we record it. Instead of Hey Prude, why not go with something else? I don't think we'll want to be performing that song with Prude in the title all the time, particularly after we break up the band when John meets some weird crazy nutcase. Not that I'm saying that'll happen. Hey, wait, I know. How about Hey Jude?" ~ Ringo Starr

"Mumble, mumble, mumble, yeah, mumble, mumble, (incomprehensible), mumble, mumble, uh huh, mumble, mumble, mumble, mumble, yeah, (incomprehensible) (incomprehensible), mumble, mumble, rolling stone, mumble, mumble, mumble...." ~ The lyrics to pretty much any Bob "Mumbler" Dylan song since 1963

"You're a great audience, Montreal! You know, before we go on with the concert, I'd just like to draw your attention to a cause near and dear to my heart. I want you all to think about the plight of the vampire rabbits that are being persecuted around the world right now by those sadistic wankers in the Van Helsing Society..." ~ Bono, during a recent U2 concert in Montreal

"Do I have to explain to you people what Summer of '69 is really all about?" ~ Bryan Adams

I've noticed quite a few writers, when mentioning it in blogs or comments in various places, have music on when they're writing. It inspires them, it gives them something to set a pace to, or it just puts them in the right frame of mind. For me, the type of music depends on what I have to write, though largely I'll rely on film scores to begin with (I'm a fan). Classical music also works well, and I've found jazz to be as well. Rock might tend to distract, as we might be inclined to sing along to our favourite musical act. And as for country, I'd advise against using it for inspiration, unless your story is about a guy whose wife just left him and took the pickup truck, the dog, the kids, and the last case of 24 in the fridge while she was at it.

I've got a fairly eclectic range of musical tastes. I can find at least something to like in many genres, with the following exceptions: rap, hip-hop, and metal. In the first two cases, they're just not music. In the last, it's too obnoxious and really hostile. Sorry, Metallica, but there's a reason your audience has gone deaf on you. I'd say it to you directly, but you guys have gone deaf too.

I have my mother to thank for the eclectic range. Any music appreciation I have in me is due to her. I certainly didn't get it from my dad, whose idea of music is largely confined to accordion tunes, Sousa march music, and the abomination otherwise known as The Smiling Idiot, Andre Rieu. You've no doubt seen the Smiling Idiot on countless PBS pledge drives, messing around with perfectly fine classical music that he seems to think needs improvement for some reason or another. Apparently the Smiling Idiot has a following; his concerts always feature audience clapping like demented seals through every single tune. Johan Strauss Jr. must be rolling over in his grave every time the Smiling Idiot massacres The Blue Danube Waltz.  

Andre Rieu aims at the snarky Canadian calling him a Smiling Idiot...

Anyway, my mother has a preference for classical and opera, but never did fall into the turn that crap down vein of parenting. As long as we weren't listening to something like, oh, Little Richards' often overlooked Kill Your Parents In A Pool Of Blood And Fire (go look it up, it's on his greatest hits album... I'll wait here for you to get back), she was fine with it. So I gradually developed my own taste in music, and it branched off into all sorts of directions. It starts, of course, with rock, but it went from there to jazz, folk (Celtic folk, not the Joan Baez variety of sitting around campfires for ten hours singing kumbayah nonstop), country (at least the ladies side of things), the blues, and more.

Incidentally, three basic truths: U2 is the greatest touring band in the world, Great Big Sea is the most fun you can have at a concert, and Sarah McLachlan is a goddess of music. Infinity plus one, which means these basic truths can never be disputed. So there. Debate's closed.

Along the line, it might have been liking film scores that got me into classical. Half of my personal collection consists of film scores, and that's what does the trick for me as an accompaniment to writing. With the classical side of things, it depends on the era. Baroque, for example, doesn't do anything for me. I like the sound of a fully developed orchestra, so realistically, we're talking about Beethoven and onwards. Sorry, Herr Bach, but you put me to sleep. Don't even get me started with Gregorian chants.

What brought on this musing on music? Earlier this month I attended a concert at the National Arts Centre here in Ottawa. The Orchestre de la Francophonie is associated with the NAC, and is marking its tenth anniversary this year. The orchestra put on a concert featuring three of the masters, which was well attended. The evening started with Mozarts' Magic Flute Overture, then moved into Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, and finished with the Second Symphony by Brahms. All of them are beautiful pieces of music. Brahms' Second can be best described as majestic. And even if you're unfamiliar with classical music (heathen! I cast you out!), you know the opening notes of Beethovens' Fifth. The first movement of the symphony is all power and strength, brooding, just like we imagine the composer himself. The fourth movement is my personal favourite: listen to it, and it's pure joy in musical notes. By the same token, his Ninth Symphony is the closest any human being has ever come to perfection.

Watching the concert, I found myself paying attention to the musicians, to their body language, to the way they held themselves on stage. Some of you may remember a character blog I wrote awhile ago, featuring a classical violinist named Cecilia Brennan, who just happens to be a terrorist. While she didn't make an appearance in Heaven & Hell, she did get mentioned indirectly in the book, and she'll turn up in a couple of books again down the line. One of the things that I took away from that concert was the decision to write the same three pieces of music into a concert Cecilia will give in that coming book. I suspect that before I start that book, I'll need to spend time with musicians, to get to know their schedules, their discipline, and what the audience looks like from their point of view. I wonder if the musicians will appreciate that the musician I'm writing about will be a devious terrorist. Depends on how they view villains, I suppose.

Music. It can inspire us. It can put us to sleep. It can annoy us (Britney, Miley, Christina, I'm looking at you). It can make us wonder who's torturing a mime (which, incidentally, is not a violation of the Geneva war conventions).

In time, the latest act to burn up the charts or win American Idiot...er, that is American Idol (fans of said show being heathens of the first order) will fade into dust. No one will remember them a hundred years hence. It was the same way in the classical era: lots of composers who never had staying power.

So, for those of us with good taste who are wondering how long a certain pint sized nitwit and his annoying songs are going to stay around, I say these two words: be patient.

I leave you then, with a small avian member of the polar chamber music ensemble and his bright idea of how to make a dull day somewhat more exciting.....