Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, November 20, 2023

The Chinese Banker Internet Scam Ploy

 They are the deranged and the oblivious. No matter how many times that we ignore them or ridicule them, they keep coming back for more in the desperate attempt that maybe this time, we'll pay some attention to them. But then again, they are pretty stupid. I speak, of course, of the vile buffoons otherwise known as homo sapiens spammeritis annoyingus. Otherwise known as internet scammers and spammers. The following crap recently turned up in my email.

Hello Dear,I am Mr. Chung Zhao, I work with a bank here in China as head of the audit department. During our bank general end of year account auditing, I discovered an overdue funds sum of USD19,500,000.00 (Millions)US Dollars belonging to my late bank customer who died over 10 years ago leaving no body to inherit his funds. I am contacting you so that we may have an agreement/proper arrangement. note 50% of the sum will be for you while the other 50% will be my share as well.I will be waiting for your quick response in order to update you with full detail and be informed that this deal will be executed legally.Yours Sincerely,Mr. Chung Zhao.

Where to begin? Well, with the start. "Hello Dear". A term of endearment that's a hallmark of the scammer trade. And rather unwelcome, mind you. This is a complete stranger, and second, I don't like being called dear.

Then we see the other hallmarks. Spacing issues in words and sentences. Capitalized words that shouldn't be capitalized. The inability to write money sums without screwing up.

This Chinese banker claims they've found an account of 19.5 million dollars that's essentially been ignored for the last ten years. 

To which I say nonsense. No banker would ignore an idle account of that number for that long.

They propose an illegal scheme of splitting it up fifty fifty. Again, nonsense. Because an actual banker of shaky ethics (99.5 percent of bankers, in other words) would be figuring out ways to keep that money for themselves. 

They want you to believe they'll share the loot with a complete stranger on the other side of the planet. But there is no loot, because there is no 19.5 million dollars. It's a scam, and the only money changing hands is that of the dumbass mark paying the inevitable admin fees before realizing that they got suckered.

Nice try, whoever you are. But I think we've established at this point that I'm wise to your ways and see you for the reprehensible sleazebags that you are. As is often mentioned, maybe you'll have better luck with someone else on that long list of half a million random email addresses you sent this too.

 Honestly, man, if you can't go make an honest living in this world, well, there's only one thing for you.

Go play on one of these things while it's doing that. Blindfolded.


  1. I was going to say no bank would ignore that amount of idle money for ten years, but you beat me to it.

  2. He didn't even bother with an excuse for why you were being contacted, like it being your long lost relative. He needs to up his game.


Comments and opinions always welcome. If you're a spammer, your messages aren't going to last long here, even if they do make it past the spam filters. Keep it up with the spam, and I'll send Dick Cheney after you.