Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, January 10, 2022

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

It is once again time for the perspective of the dog and the cat. As always I am beginning with that of the hound, who has such a short attention span and likes chasing squirrels.

7:04 AM. Waking up at home. Slept exceedingly well. Dreamed of chasing the mailman off the edge of Tombstone Canyon.

7:07 AM. Looking out the front windows. Still not dawn yet. Must spend some time figuring out the variance in dawn and dusk times throughout the year. Maybe watch some of that deGrasse Tyson guy. He seems to know his stuff.

But first, breakfast.

7:10 AM. .....after all, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And my favourite meal of the day. With lunch, dinner, and snacks in a four way tie for favourite. But right now breakfast is my priority. If only I had opposable thumbs and could open cabinets. 

7:18 AM. The human comes downstairs. I start thumping my tail against the floor in greetings. Good morning, human! Fine day, isn't it? Say, have you thought about my breakfast? Because that's foremost in my mind at the moment.

7:20 AM. The human is pouring me a big bowl of kibbles. 

Oh boy oh boy oh boy...

7:21 AM. Licking my chops after finishing off breakfast. That was good!

7:25 AM. Inquiring with the human as to if she'll let me out for a walkabout.

7:27 AM. Out the door and on my way. Bye, human!

Uh oh.... it's cold this morning.

7:31 AM. Running about in the back fields. You know, I think I'm going to have to cut my run short this morning. None of the usual wandering about for an hour or so. 

A day spent near the fireplace today would be a day well spent.

7:35 AM. But before I head inside, a good roll in the snow is called for.

7:39 AM. Starting back for the house. I wonder if the human's willing to pour me a bowl of hot chocolate to drink.

7:44 AM. Barking at the back door for the human to let me back in.

7:45 AM. The human opens the door and I attempt entry. She intercepts me with the Towel of Torment.

Human, honestly... there is no such thing as wet dog smell. I am perfectly capable of drying off by the fire.

7:47 AM. Toweled off and inside. Lying by the fireplace warming my belly. Life is good.

7:50 AM. Say, human? Any chance you can get me some hot chocolate?

10:25 Awake from a nap. The human is having coffee. I am mooching an oatmeal cookie from her.

11:03 AM. The weather people on television are talking about a polar vortex. That can't possibly be good.

12:21 PM. The human is having lunch. She's been kind enough to give me a ham and cheese sandwich. 


1:29 PM. Sitting at the front window looking out. Barking at the mailman as he drops stuff off at the mailbox and drives away. 

Get lost, you fiend! And never come back!

3:39 PM. The human is having afternoon tea. I have persuaded her with my patented sad eyes look to give me a cookie.

4:44 PM. Dusk has settled. Night is coming. It looks cold out there. A good idea to spend some time on the couch. Fortunately my human has no problem with that.

6:21 PM. Dinner with the human. She's made meat loaf, and I'm devouring a plate of it. She decided she wants sprouts with hers. I don't understand why, I really don't....

7:33 PM. The human is watching Jeopardy. Why don't they have categories about dogs?

7:42 PM. Let's see, I know this one. Who is Socrates.

8:29 PM. Lying by the fireplace, pondering the great mysteries of existence. Are mailmen inherently evil, or do they become that way?

10:01 PM. The human's watching some news. Polar vortexes and omicrons. What's an omicron?

11:27 PM. The human is off to bed. Good night, human. I'll keep a close eye on the house overnight. In between sleep. Sleep is important, after all.


Comments and opinions always welcome. If you're a spammer, your messages aren't going to last long here, even if they do make it past the spam filters. Keep it up with the spam, and I'll send Dick Cheney after you.