A Day In The Life Of A Cat

 And now it is once again time for the perspective of that most regal of beings to ever walk the earth, the cat, who must always have the last word in everything.

7:06 AM. Waking up. Yawning and allowing myself a big stretch to see the day in. Slept exceedingly well. Dreamed of vast fields of catnip.

7:09 AM. Inspecting the exterior from the back of the couch. Flying lunches out there pecking at the grass, and it looks like we've had frost in the night. Well, winter is coming.

7:12 AM. Waiting on the staff to get down here and see to my breakfast.

7:21 AM. The staff finally gets downstairs. It's about time, staff, I was about to organize a search party to go after you.

Now then, let's see to the important matters. Breakfast.

7:22 AM. Explaining in great detail my specific requirements. No field rations, are we clear? I don't want them. I do expect some meat and a bowl of milk, however, that's a given. But no field rations.

7:23 AM. The staff provides me a plate of chicken and a bowl of milk, which meet with my approval. However, she continues to include a bowl of field rations, which I am compelled to ignore. 

7:25 AM. Finished with my breakfast. Have ignored the field rations. Will let the staff have her breakfast in peace.

7:34 AM. Sitting on the back of the couch. Somewhere in the distance, I can hear the incessant barking of that foul mutt from down the road.

Stupid dog.

7:42 AM. The staff is on her way out the door to go to that work place she insists on being in for the better part of the week. Staff? A reminder, we could always use more milk.

7:44 AM. Watching the staff pull out of the driveway in her car. Well, strictly speaking it's my car, but I let her drive it.

8:01 AM. Watching the Weather Network. They're predicting a colder winter than usual for the area. That suits me fine. I'm an indoor cat anyway.

10:02 AM. Okay, I've been up for a really long time, and I think a long nap is in order.

1:30 PM. Woken up out of a sound sleep by distant barking. Checking the clock. The mailman must be making a stop. Damned dog, he's just doing his job.

1:45 PM. On my rounds of the house. Have noticed the linen closet ajar. Peeking inside.

1:47 PM. My inspection of the interior has unearthed a ball of yarn.

What to do, what to do....

2:34 PM. Have spent nearly three quarters of an hour unravelling the yarn through every bit of the house. Thoroughly pleased with myself for my efforts.

4:51 PM. The staff returns home, bearing grocery bags. She notices trails of yarn from the front door, and asks me what I've been up to.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

5:24 PM. Yarn spooled back up, and groceries put away. I head bump against the staff's legs as a show of my affection.

6:32 PM. Dinner with the staff. She's made bacon pancakes, and has seen fit to provide me with some, chopped up into bite sized pieces. Very good, staff.

7:05 PM. Leaving the staff to see to the dishes. After all, that's not a job for cats. We lack the opposable thumbs to clutch dishes, and hot soapy water is not our friend.

8:32 PM. Lying on the couch, pondering the great mysteries of existence. What is the meaning of the purr?

9:51 PM. The staff is finishing up one of those silly Hallmark movies. Staff, these movies are all exactly the same. Same formula and rotating casts. 

11:30 PM. The staff is off to bed. Good night, staff, sleep well. But keep the door open.

I have zoomies scheduled for two thirty.

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

It is time once again for the perspective of the dog and the cat. As usual, I start with the dog, who gets so easily distracted by literally everything on the planet.

7:05 AM. Waking up. Big stretch and a yawn. Slept well. Dreamed of chasing squirrels.

7:07 AM. Checking the outside from one of the windows. Some frost on the ground outside. Well, it is that time of year, after all, and sooner or later we'll have snow on the ground.

7:11 AM. Waiting on the human to get downstairs and see to my breakfast. After all, I can't get that done myself.

7:19 AM. The human makes her way downstairs. I thump my tail furiously on the floor. Good morning, human! Have we put any thought into my breakfast yet?

7:21 AM. The human is pouring me a big bowl of kibbles.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy...

7:22 AM. Licking my chops after polishing off breakfast in a near record fast time. That was good!

7:25 AM. Making inquiries with the human as to if she'll let me out for a run.

7:26 AM. Out the door and on my way. See you later, human!

7:27 AM. Why is it I always seem to forget how cold frost is on my feet?

7:35 AM. Running through the back fields, barking my head off, as happy as I can be.

7:46 AM. Stopping by to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. Hey, Spike!

7:48 AM. After customary doggie greetings, Spike and I discuss matters of great significance. What the squirrels are up to. If the mailman is plotting some dire scheme. What is the best cookie to mooch.

7:53 AM. Spike advises that he has heard there is snow out west, and likely coming this way. Well, Spike, winter was going to start coming in early this year anyway, wasn't it?

8:03 AM. Parting ways with Spike, who assures me that he'll bark up a storm when the mailman stops by. One of these days, buddy, we're going to get him.

8:21 AM. Splashing through the creek out in the woods while on the way home.

8:35 AM. Approaching the back door, barking to let the human know I've returned. Human! It is I! Loki! Annoyer of Mailmen and Chewer of Slippers!

8:36 AM. The human intercepts me at the doorway with the Towel of Torment. 

Come on, human! There is no such thing as wet dog smell!

10:45 AM. Scarfing a cookie from the human while she has coffee.

12:10 PM. Mooching a ham and cheese sandwich from the human.

1:30 PM. Barking my head off at the mailman as he drops things off at the mailbox.

2:24 PM. Using my patented sad eyes trick to convince the human to give me a scone while she has tea.

6:36 PM. Dinner with the human. She's made herself some macaroni and meat, and has seen fit to give me a plate. This is good, human.

11:40 PM. The human is off to bed. Good night, human, sleep well.

And keep the door open. I may be on patrol in the night.

In between naps.

Turkey Comas In A Canadian Style

It is Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend, at a time of the year when it actually makes sense to have this thing- harvest time. And we don't make an over the top spectacle of it like you Yanks do. 

I have an image blog for the occasion.