Faith Can Move Mountains... But Dynamite Works Better

Monday, June 10, 2024

The Old Tesla Stocks Scam Again

Just when you think you've seen it all. The scammers and the spammers have nothing else to do with their day but send their random comments and emails to hundreds or thousands of destinations, all hoping to draw some attention or, better yet, draw in a sucker dumb enough to believe them. They are a wretched lot, that group known to science as homo sapiens spammeritis irritatingus. They are incapable of finding an honest way to make a living. And so this is what they do. 

The following came through to my email recently.

Hello, This email is from Elon Musk and the Founder, CEO and Chief Engineer of the SpaceX team; Early-stage investor, CEO and product architect of Tesla, Inc.; founder of The Boring Company; and co-founder of Neuralink and OpenAI. With an estimated net worth of around $245 billion. Your email address was randomly selected from the US and Canada email databases and you won 18,087.71 shares of Tesla at $228.0 per share (TSLA) worth 4 $124,270.00. Please take this email seriously by responding to this email or contacting ( to make a claim.

I'm sorry- did you say please take this email seriously? Rest assured, I would not even think of taking it seriously. Because it's got scam written all over it. It's claiming that I'm a winner of a random selection for over eighteen thousand shares of Tesla stock, at 228 dollars a share. They add in the final amount it's supposed to be worth (though they put the $ in the wrong spot. Because just randomly giving away four million dollars in stock is the sort of thing that's done.

And even if I were to believe this nonsense (I don't), why would I want stock in that company? Owned by a guy who's one of the biggest assholes on the planet? No thank you, I'd rather hold onto my integrity. 

Nice try, ace, but there are no stocks, because this isn't legitimate. You're lying through your teeth, like you always do, about everything. 

Sigh. I'd like to take you somewhere with a grand view. Somewhere high.

And push you off it.


  1. Honestly this email is probably less of a scam than what's normally produced by Tesla, and Musk in general. If you give money to this scammer, it won't kill you.

  2. I watched The Beekeeper on the airplane coming home to Hawaii and though I hate violence, it was surprisingly satisfying to see retribution against scammers.


Comments and opinions always welcome. If you're a spammer, your messages aren't going to last long here, even if they do make it past the spam filters. Keep it up with the spam, and I'll send Dick Cheney after you.