Revenge Of A Nigerian Scammer

They will never take a hint and go away. I speak, of course, of the internet scammers and spammers who infest our blogs and email with their endless nonsense. There's been no shortage of it lately coming from those dregs of society who appear to have absolutely nothing else to do with their time but send this crap our way. On the blog, they almost never get published, and these days tend to consist of the spell caster nonsense. That's what I get for posting about spell caster spam. In the email, they end up in junk folders and give me fodder for a post. Such is the case with the following.

From Mrs.Inga-Britt Ahlenius.
Internal Audit, Monitoring, Consulting and Investigations Division
UNITED NATIONS SCAM VICTIMS COMPENSATIONS PAYMENTS.



This is to bring to your notice that  After i was Retired from this office I was appointed again and I was delegated from the United Nations To Central Bank to pay 150 scam victims $5,000,000.00 (FIVE MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLAR) each.

You are listed and approved for this payment as one of the scammed victims to be paid this amount, get back to me as soon as possible for the immediate payments of your $5,000,000.00 compensation funds.

On this faithful recommendation, we want you to know that during the last U.N. meetings held at Abuja, Nigeria, it was alarmed so much by the world in the meetings on the loss of funds by various individuals to the scam's artists operating in syndicates all over the world today.
In order to compensate victims, the U.N Body in conjunction with the Nigerian Government is now paying 150 victims of these operators $5,000,000.00 each in accordance with the U.N. recommendations.

Due to the corrupt and inefficient Banking Systems in Nigeria, the payments are to be supervised by the United Nations' Officials and the Central Bank of Nigeria as the corresponding paying treasury department United Bank of Africa
According to the number of applicants at hand, 114 Beneficiaries have been paid, half of the victims are from the United States, we still have 36 left to be paid the compensations of $5,000,000.00 each.

Your particulars were mentioned by one of the Syndicates who was arrested as one of their victims of the operations, you are hereby warned not to communicate or duplicate this message to him for any reason whatsoever as the U.S. secret service is already on the trail
of the other criminals.
Other victims who have not been contacted can submit their application as well for scrutiny and possible consideration.
You are thereby advised to contact the private officer of the treasury department United Bank of Africa through the following information.
Name........................Alex Ugo
Email:......................              alex.ugoo1878@gmail.com
Tel:..........................                + 234-818-650-6211
Whatsapp
You will receive your compensations payments through which the options You will be detailed with the modalities as you contact the private officer of the treasury department United Bank of Africa
Sincerely yours,
Mrs.Inga-Britt Ahlenius

Okay. So first of all, there is an Inga-Britt Ahlenius. She's been a Swedish civil servant and worked for the UN in a higher level capacity for internal oversight. But this email was not coming from her.

Because someone who's generally that accomplished is not sending emails like this. And because someone like her has a solid grasp on the English language, even though it would be a second language.

No, this is the tell tale spammer, who hijacks such a name, and then proceeds to spin a tale, all while giving themselves away- spelling mistakes, capitalization of words and non-capitalization of words, improper punctuation.

This is someone whose grasp of the English language is poor, though they try to hide it behind overly formalized wording. Making small errors gives them away (or suggests they may have been homeschooled). 

Oh, they spin that tale of how 150 scam victims have been chosen to receive five million a piece (note to the scammers: I haven't been scammed, you jackasses). They say "it was alarmed so much by the world"... I mean, who says that? Scammers, that's who.

Look, jackass, when you keep sending the same variants of scam form letters over and over again, people pretty quickly catch on.

Oh, sure, you admit banking in Nigeria is corrupt and inefficient. Really, I'm shocked. You also say I'm one of the victims of these syndicates. That's a surprise to me, because I know better than to bite on the bait whenever these scammers send this crap. In short, I haven't lost money to scammers. 

Nice try, but maybe one of the hundreds of thousands of people among the other emails you sent this crap to might be dumb enough to buy the bait.

I'd like to suggest that you look into advancing yourself in society and asking this guy for one of his specialized drinks. What's the worst that could possibly go wrong?