Return Of The Internet Scammer

Before I posted the last post on internet scammers, I got another one in my junk email that simply had to be addressed. This of course is one of the half a million random email addresses that a useless, tedious, pointless schmuck like an internet scammer sends things to, hoping that someone out there is dumb enough to bite at the bait.

And of course there always is.

For the vast majority of those receiving it who know better, well, that's what the trash bin of our email accounts is for. 

Here we have it.

Dear Friend, Good day , 

I hope this mail meets you well. I duly apologize if I am interfering with your privacy if this request is not acceptable to you.  

My name is Evans Broker I am a Banker, I am  contacting you because you share the same last name with our client who died of Covid-19 with his wife and his two sons in March (2020).The Bank has been on the outlook to contact his next of kin without success hence I contacted you since you shear same surname with our client. 

I want to present you as the next of Kin / beneficiary for immediate payment of this fund.. As of today my client's cash investment with the Bank Stands at US$140 Million (One Hundred and Forty Million United States Dollars ) 

Get back to us, if you are interested for more information through my private email address below  

(evansbroker1991@gmail.com)  lindamakalima@workmail.co.za 

Opportunity comes but once 

Best Regards. 

Evans Broker .and Mrs Linda  Makalima 

Of course there's the usual formal tone of the whole thing that reads like a person who doesn't actually speak English. They capitalize words that don't need it, screw up punctuation, and write this whole thing as if it went through translation software. I mean, Evans Broker? Oh, sure, that sounds like the name of an actual human being. He screws up the spelling of a fairly common word- share, writing it as shear.

He claims to be apologizing if he's interfering with my privacy (he is), and claims that I'm being contacted because I share the same surname as a client who died of Covid, with his wife and family back in 2020. He also says that his client was worth 140 million American dollars, which he has to write out twice in case I wasn't paying attention.

First off, my actual surname is relatively rare. And none of my relatives bought the farm from Covid. So I know that's nonsense. Second, I know this is nonsense in general, since no banker would propose an illegal scheme to pass me off as the next of kin to their client (they'd be too busy trying to figure out how to siphon off every cent of that unclaimed estate). 

But there is not unclaimed money, because there's no dead person involved here. All we have here is the typical homo sapiens spammeritis annoyingus. A vile, despicable excuse for a human being.

No, what this is all about is sending the same email out to half a million random email addresses on the hopes that a handful of them will be dumb enough to bite. And then find themselves paying a processing fee of several thousand dollars before they wise up and realize they got scammed.

But by then it's too late. Because by then, whoever "Evans Broker" really is (not to mention his accomplice Linda Makalima, who doesn't even make an appearance until the end of the scam email) will be long gone.

Nice try, dumbass.

Why don't you do something useful with your time?

I suggest lying in the middle of the street.

So you can get run over by a steam roller.