Return Of The International Monetary Fund Scam

 They are a plague and a pestilence upon society. They send hordes of emails to random people, and spam our blogs with their nuisance comments. They prey upon the gullible with their scripts, whether it be the Cancer Widow, the former military officer, former government official, or banker from overseas. They promise great riches that don't actually exist. All in the hopes of finding that one Forrest Gump dumb enough to believe them. I speak, of course, of the vile lot we call homo sapiens scammeritis annoyingus, otherwise known as the internet scammer. Such as this, which ended up in my email.

International Monetary Fund (IMF)

Office of the Special Representative to the UN.

Headquarters 

Letter Of Compensation / Settlement.

Attn: Beneficiary,

Please bear with us for making this initial contact through email, it is due to the urgency of this notification, since we are unable to reach your telephone line and to officially bring to your notice about your payment file in which you are listed as a beneficiary to the International Monetary Fund (IMF) and United Nations Compensation Program of US$10,500,000.00, this Compensation Program is organized Seasonal for victims of  internet scams, disasters(earthquakes, hurricane, storm, fire), and elderly one(s) and fund payment delay in which your fund payment has been delayed by some unpatriotic officers.

In view of the above you are advised to reconfirm the information below to facilitate the immediate release of your fund.

1) Your Full Name:

2) Phone Number:

3) Home Address:

4) Profession:

5) Age:

6) Marital Status:

Thank you.

Best Regards,

Ms. Kristalina Georgieva,

Managing Director International Monetary Fund (IMF).

Oh, sure, that's believable. I'm due 10.5 million dollars from the IMF and United Nations. This is news to me. They've apparently tried to contact me. That's what I get for not answering unknown numbers on my call display. Well, while I might deserve such funds for putting up with an endless pile of scams and spam, we all know better than to believe this nonsense. They even use the interesting phrase "your fund payment has been delayed by some unpatriotic officers." Oh, sure, right, that sounds trustworthy.

They then ask me to reconfirm everything that- if this was legitimate, which it is not- they would already know. But I know better. And the icing on the cake is that it's sent by someone with a Russian name. Or a fake Russian name. And while I have no doubt that this scam probably leads back to some creep in a warehouse in Moscow, they have a mountain of aliases that they use. And their real name isn't Kristalina. Nice try, ace. But let's just say I've known too many Russians, including an insufferable local oaf of Russian citizenship who's busy getting banned from multiple places here because he's an insufferable oaf. I'd say he's the one behind this, but that jackass has a brain that's been destroyed by Moscow Alcohol Syndrome.

Again, nice try, but it doesn't work on me. In an ideal world, you'd meet the same fate as Ned Stark, who even though he was a fictional character is a much better person than you are.