Last Charge Of The Drunken Hobbit

Some links to see to before we get started today. Yesterday was a Snippet Sunday, so we had a post on our blog. Krisztina had her pic of the week from a visit to Gettysburg. And Shelly writes about an experience with a snake.

Now then, it's a movie review for me to take on today...

"Are we destined to destroy each other, or can we change each other and unite? Is the future truly set?"  ~ Charles Xavier

"There is a new enemy out there: mutants. You need a new weapon for this war." ~ Bolivar Trask

Director Bryan Singer returns again to the cinematic world of the X-Men in the new film X-Men: Days Of Future Past. It is drawn from the storyline by Chris Claremont, arguably the definitive writer of that corner of the Marvel Universe. In both comics and film, the story is about time travel and trying to undo an apocalyptic future in which everything has gone wrong. It brings back multiple X-Men from previous films, some of whom are in different time periods being played by different actors. It picks up plot threads from previous films, while taking us in a new direction and bringing us a new and unlikely villain. 

Things open up a few years in the future, with robots called Sentinels hunting mutants and making life difficult for regular humans. Society's become one of those dark, dystopian realms that are so popular in fiction these days. Some of the surviving mutants are working with Kitty Pryde (Ellen Page, a previous castmember of one of the films). Kitty and her team meet up with Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) and Magneto (Ian McKellan). The two old adversaries have had to come together.  And considering Xavier was blasted into oblivion in the events of X-Men The Last Stand, he's looking pretty good. 

They have themselves a plan to undo this turn of events, and it involves sending the essence of one of their own into the past to try to reset the timeline. Everything seems to have gone wrong with the assassination of industrialist Bolivar Trask (Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian), an act committed by Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence, reprising the role she started playing in X-Men First Class). Trask designed the Sentinels in the first place, and it's thought that his death was the trigger for everything that followed. The individual whose consciousness will be sent back into his younger self? Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), sometimes known as the Drunken Hobbit (what can I say, the only version of the character I can tolerate is Jackman's take on him... the comics version is really, really, really annoying). Xavier and Magneto urge him to seek out their younger selves, played again by James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender, to thwart the dark future that has come upon them all.

Singer directed the first couple of these films, starting back in 2000 with X-Men. He also had a hand in the production of the back in the past X-Men First Class. In this case he's returned to the director's helm and taken on one of the big stories in X-Men comic history. Claremont's story holds up well, altered somewhat by the screenwriters- Logan, for example, was never the character sent back in time. The story bounces back and forth between the dark future and the 1970s (rendered with the appalling fashion tastes on full display), and yet we never seem lost in the process. The story also gives us quite a few familiar faces from previous films, while introducing new mutants, and yet the sea of faces doesn't feel overwhelming. Singer paces the movie well, keeping things from slowing down while also respecting the themes of the core story, the dark and nightmare future, the unintended consequences of a character's actions, and how far a person can go before they're broken. Singer's crew does their work well. Once again the Mystique body paint look is remarkable- one can only imagine Jennifer Lawrence's patience each day with having that done. But beyond that, it applies to every details. The Sentinels look as ominous as you'd expect them to look from the comics. The dark future looks and feels malevolent. Special effects for the various mutant abilities come across very well, particularly in the case of Magneto- more than once do we see moments involving the character that are jaw dropping. And the 1970s are rendered in detail that feels true to the period, from technology that looks ancient in comparison to the presence of a certain "I Am Not A Crook" president mucking up the works. 

The cast is back in fine form, from more than one timeline. Aside from some of those mentioned, we meet some of the X-Men we've seen before, such as Storm (Halle Berry), Iceman (Shawn Ashmore), and Colossus (Daniel Cudmore). They're back in familiar territory, playing the parts once again as if it's been a brief time since we saw them last. There are new faces as well- Blink, Sunspot, Bishop, and Warpath are all new faces here, but quite welcome. We even have a new actor playing a part we've seen before. Josh Helman plays an even younger William Stryker, the man who uses mutants and yet hates them; we've seen the character played before in different time periods by Brian Cox and Danny Huston. Helman brings across the character's military code and beneath the surface malevolence in his performance. Ellen Page, who's previously played the role in X-Men The Last Stand, gets to play Kitty as a decisive leader, a far step beyond her initial presence in the film franchise as a student. Peter Dinklage, who's busy in that series featuring dark ages fantasy, rough sex, extreme violence, and backstabbing betrayals otherwise known as Game of Thrones might seem as an unlikely choice as Bolivar Trask, but he's actually an inspired choice. He plays the part with a certain degree of arrogance, balanced out by the personality of a man who strives for respect. And what's the best part of his performance is that he plays it as a man who believes he's doing good in the world, even though that good is in fact an awful thing. As a villain, he's a compelling one.

Jennifer Lawrence returns again as Mystique, the ferocious shapeshifter mutant who has been in the first three films played by Rebecca Romijn. She plays the part as someone dedicated to her mission in life, more jaded than we saw her play the part in X-Men First Class. She believes in what she's doing, even though she can't see the consequences of that. Lawrence embodies the character well once again, giving her depth. And obviously we can't take our eyes off her- both actresses have had the chance to play this eye catching role. Nicholas Hoult returns to the role of Beast, a character he also played in X-Men First Class. This is the younger version of the character, still as bright and prone to chatter as ever. Hoult plays the character in a way that feels true to who he is in the comics as well. Hugh Jackman returns as Wolverine, his seventh time (including a cameo in X-Men First Class) playing the character. He conveys the gruffness of the character as you'd expect; Jackman knows this character well by now. He's ferocious and courageous, a fighter who finds himself somewhat out of his element back in the past. 

That leaves us with two characters, played by four men. Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan started playing Xavier and Magneto back in X-Men in 2000, and took on the essence of two former friends turned adversaries. Here we have them in a dark future, where they see that the choices they made might not have been for the better good. They both give their roles the dignity and gravitas you'd expect from such actors. McAvoy and Fassbender established that friendship in X-Men First Class, only to see it torn asunder by film's end. When we find them in the past, things have changed for both men. Fassbender plays Magneto as a man cornered and trapped when we first find him again in the past, but it's only made him more entrenched, more invested in his antagonism towards mainstream humanity. Fassbender conveys the inner pain of Magneto well, as he has done before. McAvoy puts a different spin on Xavier than what we saw in his first performance. His Xavier has lost the bulk of his first set of students in one way or another, and it's left him bitter and cynical, without hope. He's a wounded man. And there's a moment of contact between the two Xaviers across time that comes across as one of the best scenes in the movie.

X-Men Days Of Future Past does the original source story proud. It's a breathtaking action thriller that spans the decades and yet doesn't get us lost in all of the action, the characters, and the bouncing around in time aspect of the story. It deals with themes like arrogance, estranged friendships, and the consequences of ill considered actions. Oh, sure, we have to put up with horrible looking fashions (have I mentioned the Seventies were a blight on fashion?), but that's a small thing. It's a thrill ride that still grounds itself in good characterization.

Even with a Drunken Hobbit.

A Narcissist And Her One True Love

Before I get started with today's mischief, some links for you to consider. Norma wrote about the unreality of television shows the other day at her blog. Yesterday was a Friday, so AngryParsnip had a Square Dog Friday. Shelly had some news at her blog. Krisztina has spring and summer decoration ideas at her blog. And Eve writes about Pomp And Circumstance.

Now then, we have ourselves one of those dear God, did I actually write that kind of blogs today. If I happen to meet a bad end, you know who had me throttled, drawn and quartered, and subjected to all kinds of painful tortures.

Actress Introduces Love Of Her Life, Raises Concerns About Ethics

Los Angeles (AP) Actress Katherine Heigl, former cast member of Grey’s Anatomy, lead of the upcoming series State Of Affairs, star of numerous forgettable films, and all around narcissist, held a press conference here to make a startling announcement that set off a flurry of outrage and questions over the ethics of science. Reporters had been roped into showing up for the press conference despite their better judgment. Others, such as this reporter, had been forced to go after inadvertently insulting the mother-in-law of their editor by simply asking if the old bat had taught cruelty lessons to the Gestapo.

A spokesperson met the reporters at an auditorium set aside for the occasion, introducing Ms. Heigl, who has a reputation for being full of herself and difficult to work with. Before she stepped out on stage, the entire auditorium erupted in applause- recorded applause, as it turned out. Heigl came out, flashing that megawatt smile mixed with the usual expression of disdain in her eyes. “Hello and welcome! But of course you came. You had to. Everyone out there is fascinated by me, after all.” She smiled and stood at the podium. “I have a tremendous announcement. One that’s going to have me on all the magazine covers for the rest of time. Or should I say, us?” 

She gazed out onto the crowd of reporters, oblivious to the fact that all of them would have preferred to be elsewhere. “I did some soul searching, ladies and gentlemen of the press. I realized I was unhappy. And the reason I was unhappy was that I wasn’t with the one person I loved. The one person I couldn’t live without. And then the solution came to me. First, of course, I had to get a quickie divorce from what’s his name, because let’s face it, he just wasn’t doing it for me.” The casualness in which she expressed such remarks confused the press, and confirmed general opinions about the entertainment industry in general and Katherine Heigl in particular.

“Second, I had to find myself a scientist to help me make my dream come true. And not just any scientist, but one whose ethical considerations could be tossed out the window at a moment’s notice,” Heigl boasted. “And I found him. Doctor Otto von Frankenstein- no relation, by the way- was teaching physics in Vienna, well respected, we’re talking genius level ideas here. We got to talking about his ideas of parallel universes and alternate realities. It’s all a little technical, and I’d be lying if I said I understood it, but the point is, there was the concept that there are an infinite amount of alternate realities out there. Which means there are an infinite number of Katherine Heigls out there. Isn’t that just a spectacular possibility? How could I not pursue that idea?”

A collective gasp seemed to rise up out of the crowd of reporters. Heigl beamed as she continued. “Without further ado, allow me to introduce my future wife, the love of my life, just as ravishingly beautiful as me in every way- believe me, I’ve checked out every square inch of her- here she is, Katherine Heigl!”

Another Katherine Heigl appeared on the stage, beaming the same megawatt smile and the same disdain for other people. In every single way, they were lookalikes. The two Katherine Heigls shared a passionate kiss, hands all over each other, putting on a show. Reporters seemed stunned.

Finally a Reuters correspondent spoke up. “Are you suggesting you went into an alternate reality?”

The two Katherine Heigls pulled out of their kiss and composed themselves. “I’m not suggesting anything,” this reality’s Katherine Heigl declared. “I did go into alternate realities searching for my other half, my perfect soulmate. Doctor von Frankenstein’s technology is able to breach dimensional walls... I’m sure nothing will ever go wrong with such concepts, right? Mind you, the first Katherine Heigl I came across wasn’t quite what I was looking for. She wasn’t an actress that everyone was amazed by. I found that strange. I mean, she was spending her life doing charitable work. Caring for lepers, tending to orphaned cute animals. In short, wasting her time.”

“Who’d want to spend their life doing good for others, anyway?” The Other Katherine Heigl asked, flaunting her relationship with this reality’s Katherine Heigl by openly stroking her hands all over her.

“Exactly! See? Katherine and I agree with each other.”

“We certainly do, don’t we? She’s my cutie pie sweetie.”

“And she’s my hot babe sex machine,” this reality’s Heigl boasted. “Believe me, the sex is incredible. She knows all the right moves that get me hot and bothered, because she is me and I am her. And I know all the right moves to get her turned on, not to mention that special place where she’s most ticklish, because I’m her and she’s me. Of course, by now I think that’s perfectly clear, right?”

This reporter started wondering how easy it would be to simply walk out of the auditorium and find a position with another media outlet. This was getting too weird. Instead this reporter spoke up. “You don’t find anything about this unethical? Just plain wrong?”

“Wrong?” this reality’s Katherine Heigl asked in a dismissive way. “Look, if you’re the sort who has problems with same sex marriage, it’s the twenty first century, and it’s time for you to face reality.”

“Yes,” the Other Katherine Heigl agreed, nuzzling this reality’s Katherine Heigl’s neck.

“Ms. Heigl... Other Ms. Heigl, I have no problem with that. That’s not what I mean,” this reporter stated. “I’m talking about the ethical consequences of actually travelling to alternate dimensions and taking chances with the fabric of reality simply because you’re so self-absorbed that you can only be happy with another you. That, ladies, is what one might find objectionable.” Other reporters were nodding in agreement.

Both Katherine Heigls rolled their eyes and waved that off. “Oh, please,” the Other Katherine Heigl said in the same dismissive tone as her fiancée.

This reality’s Katherine Heigl nodded. “Doctor von Frankenstein promised that if it all went wrong with the dimensional crossover process, reality would merely cave in on itself, causing a cataclysmic collapse that would annihilate the entire known universe. My happiness outweighed any such concerns about that, so I deemed it an acceptable risk. And look... here we are. We’re all still here, and I’ve found the one great love of my life. I’ve found my true happiness. Besides, aren’t the two of us the most breathtaking, beautiful women you’ve ever seen?”

The two Katherine Heigls gazed into each other’s eyes, sharing another kiss. Reporters glanced at each other, wondering how long it might be before Tom Cruise tried the same thing. “So, we’re getting married,” the Other Katherine Heigl declared.

“Is that even legal?” another reporter asked.

“Not in every state, not yet, despite what Fox News and the Tea Party would like to see happen,” this reality’s Katherine Heigl answered. “However, our attorney tells us that even though we’re both Katherine Heigl, we do have the right to marry each other. So we’re planning our wedding for the fall. Boston’s lovely that time of year with the autumn colours.”

“We’re debating whether or not to have cameras follow us around and film the whole thing,” the Other Katherine Heigl added.

“They’d no doubt like to film the wedding night too,” Heigl told her fiancée.

“Which will be hot and steamy,” the Other Katherine Heigl said with a wink.

Both Katherine Heigls laughed and kissed again. Then this reality’s Katherine Heigl said, “And so there you have it. Our big announcement. We’re expecting to dominate headlines, so don’t you dare let us down! Don’t you let our audience down either!” The two Katherine Heigls walked off stage, fondling each other along the way.

The reporters were left to absorb it all. Some called their editors. Others called AA sponsors to admit that they were having a weak moment and felt tempted to drink. This reporter pinched himself in the vain attempt to persuade himself that it was all a dream and this wasn’t actually happening. Unfortunately that was not to be.

The Reuters correspondent said it best. “Well, what do you expect out of a scientist named Frankenstein, anyway?”

The Fundamental Explosions Apply

Self-Absorbed Director Plans To Stomp All Over Movie History

Los Angeles (AP) Director Michael Bay, the demented pyrotechnic fan behind films like Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, and the Transformers franchise, announced a new film initiative this weekend to waiting reporters. Bay, who is presently filming a rebooted Gone With The Wind, is known for high octane action thrillers that overwhelm the senses with repetitive explosions, little regard for logic, and no emphasis on characterization. He also has a reputation for being pretty full of himself.

Reporters were gathered at Digital Domain, one of the production companies run by Bay. A spokesperson for the company assured those gathered in the auditorium that Bay would be arriving shortly. “He wants to look his best for the camera,” Digital Domain official Serena White told the assembled reporters. “He has very exacting standards, I’m sure you understand.”

This reporter, doomed to cover the press conference after inadvertently laughing during the funeral of his editor’s cousin, rolled his eyes. No doubt Bay simply couldn’t tear himself away from the mirror. It has been said that the one great love of Michael Bay’s life is his reflection in any mirror.

Finally Bay emerged onto the stage, grinning like a man who’s been hit on the head too many times by a football. It has long been the opinion of many a reporter that there’s not much activity going on inside his head. As usual, he had a two days stubble growth on his face.“Good morning!” he called in greeting after one final glance in a small mirror, replacing it in his jacket.

“It’s five thirty in the afternoon,” a Reuters correspondent told him.

“It is? Wow, time flies when you’re gazing in the mirror,” Bay said, flashing another grin. “Well, it’s morning somewhere in the world. Welcome to Digital Domain, and welcome to the big announcement. I’m sure you’ll all be pleased and ecstatic when I tell you what I’ve come to say.”

“Have you decided to retire and never make another film project again?” this reporter asked.

“Oh, that’s funny!” Bay said with a laugh, apparently not grasping the seriousness of the question. “Come now, the world needs Michael Bay films. They need to bask in the magnificence and glory that is me. They need to root for the heroes in my story. They need to laugh with the smart dialogue. They need to see the scantily clad young heroine polishing a car while the soundtrack plays a guitar riff. They need to see explosion after explosion after explosion. I can’t retire. My services to humanity are far too important. I am, after all, the greatest film director of all time. Am I right or am I right?” He looked out over the crowd of reporters, none of whom responded. They were too busy rolling their eyes and sighing in dismay, no doubt wondering what terrible thing they had done to merit being subjected to a Michael Bay press conference.

“Look, it’s all very simple,” Bay went on. “I am in the midst of directing my all star Gone With The Wind remake. It got me thinking. Why not reboot another classic of the silver screen? So my next project, ladies and gentlemen, the next big film that will secure me plenty of Oscars... is Casablanca.”

The crowd of reporters fell absolutely silent. Bay looked around at everyone, the same stupid grin on his face, oblivious to the appalled thoughts of the journalists at hand. “You want to remake the Bogart and Bergman film?” the Reuters correspondent asked.

“Yes, absolutely!” Bay insisted. “Not only remake it, but make it a thousand times better!” He laughed. “You see, there’s too much talking in that film, not enough explosions. I mean, really, it’s the Second World War, right? So we’re going to change all that by injecting some life into the story. And by life I mean pyrotechnic fireworks and explosions and death. Take, for instance, that whole ending in the original film. Rick shoots Major Strasser, and Strasser just falls down and dies. I mean, come on. Wouldn’t it be better if Strasser was smoking, stumbled away, fell into a whole pit full of explosives, TNT, dynamite, and that sort of thing, and the lit cigarette set everything off? The way I’m planning the scene, it’ll be a big enough explosion that Winston Churchill could see the smoke in London. That’s going to be typical of my version of Casablanca. Why not feature the whole city getting blown sky high? It makes for really good explosion scenes, and you have to have good explosions in a movie. And while we’re at it, I’m really not comfortable having that French anthem being played in the big scene as you see it in the movie. That’s just not going to play well in America. The audiences will hear that and wonder why a godless socialist song like La Marseillaise has to be sung. So I’m just going to have everyone sing The Star Spangled Banner.”

This reporter looked at his colleagues, all of whom had the same expression of horror on their faces. Bay continued. “Without further ado, let me introduce you to our cast. First, playing Rick Blaine, you know him as a frequent collaborator of mine on screen...” There was a collective gasp among the reporters. Surely Bay could not have chosen him to step into the shoes of Rick Blaine. “....I give you Shia LaBeouf!”

The collective gasp echoed. Some of this reporter’s colleagues were throwing up in the aisles. LaBeouf stepped out in stage, looking dazed and confused. It is, after all, a common expression for him. “Hi there!” he called out. “It’ll be a real pleasure playing this character, and showing up that Bogart moron for the bad actor that he is.” He stood with Bay, both of them grinning like idiots. This reporter contemplated alerting the Bogart estate that their illustrious forefather was being dragged through the mud.

“And where Shia goes, Megan must follow!” Bay declared. Megan Fox stepped out on the stage, smiling and showing off her cleavage. “Playing Ilsa Lund, I give you Megan Fox!”

“It’s an honour!” Fox told everyone.

“You have got to be joking!” another reporter blurted out.

“Of course I’m not,” Bay declared. “Why do people keep thinking that about everything I do? Now, the next cast member is pivotal. He’s been nominated for Oscars, and I’m confident this time he’ll win, and he’ll help us win the Oscars in a huge sweep too. Playing Victor Laszlo in my new film, I give you... Leonardo DiCaprio!”

DiCaprio stepped out on stage, waving to the reporters. There was another gasp. Why would DiCaprio work with someone as foolish as Michael Bay? “It’s a pleasure,” he told the reporters. “Michael tells me this is the role that is going to win me that long overdue Oscar. Now, I’ll admit, I’ve never actually seen the original Casablanca, but seeing that Victor gets the girl and the happy ending, that makes Victor the main character, right?”

This reporter asked, “Why are you doing this, Leo?”

“Because I really, really, really want that Oscar.”

“Yes, we know that, but you’re not going to get it with him as a director,” the Reuters correspondent remarked. “And seriously... what kind of person has never watched Casablanca?”

“I’ll remind you that you said that when I’m accepting Best Actor,” DiCaprio promised.

This reporter sighed, all too aware that Victor Laszlo is not the main character in the film. Bay continued as his three actors stood together. “And we’ve got other parts cast as well for the big film. Playing Captain Louis Renault will be one of my favourite all around actors, ladies and gentlemen, give a big hand to Nicolas Cage!”

Cage stepped out on stage, waving. “Great to see you! Oh, this is the role I was born to play, daddy-o. With the paycheck I’ll be getting from this, I can go back to burning my way through money by buying things I don’t actually need.”

This reporter wondered how much worse this could get. “And playing the part of Sam the piano player... you know him best while he’s crossdressing as his signature Madea role, Mr. Tyler Perry!” Bay boasted.

Another collective gasp of horror. Perry stepped out on stage. “Nice to be here, Hollywood! I’m going to put my own take on this guy. I really don’t think Dooley Wilson gave a good performance. Sam was stale in that first version, so I’m here to shake things up in a big way!”

This reporter looked at his colleagues. Right about now would be a good time for an earthquake to turn up and swallow everyone on stage into the depths of the earth. “And we have three more actors to reveal for you today. Major Strasser, Signor Ferrari, and Signor Ugarte were played by Conrad Veidt, Sydney Greenstreet, and Peter Lorre in the original film. I can do these characters better by casting the right people in the roles. So I give you, as Strasser, The Rock! As Ferrari, Jon Voight! And as Ugarte, Steve Buscemi! Give them all a big hand!” The three actors stepped out on stage. The Rock arched his eyebrows.

“I just want to say I’m sorry,” Buscemi said. “I signed a contract back in the day that I have to do nine films with him, and he insisted this had to be one of them. I’m really sorry for this desecration of movie history.”

Bay laughed. “Oh, Steve, that’s so funny! You just crack me up!”

“Actually, I was being serious,” Buscemi told him.

Bay seemed oblivious. “Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the main cast of Casablanca! We’re gonna be kicking it in high gear once I’m done with the Gone With The Wind reboot. And I’m gonna win so many Oscars for it by the time we’re all said and done. Because I deserve plenty of Oscars. Is that perfectly clear? Plenty of Oscars.”

This reporter spoke up. “Mr. Bay, I would point out that The Rock is not, well, ethnically German. It’s highly doubtful that someone of his background could play a part of an officer in a society run by white supremacists.”

“Oh, that’s just silly!” Bay insisted. “Those are just trivial notions, and my audiences don’t care about that sort of thing. They care about rock music underscore, and explosions, and hot babes, and more explosions...”

“Mr. Bay!” the Reuters correspondent said forcefully. “Has Warner Brothers signed off on this?They do take responsibility for the well being of the original film very seriously.”

Bay shrugged. “Oh, we’ll work that out with them later on. I’m sure it’ll all be fine. All any studio cares about is making plenty of money.”

This reporter, disgusted by the entire press conference, spoke again. “Mr. Bay, what would you say to someone who feels that you are stomping on a true cinematic classic by trying to remake it? What would you say to someone who feels that you are a complete and total hack whose films are nothing more than cinematic emptiness?”

“I’d say they’re all jealous of true genius.” Bay smiled. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got an appointment with a tanning bed. It takes a lot of care to look as smashing as I do, you know. Look for Casablanca to be burning up the silver screen in a huge way come 2017. Lots of explosions, lots of hot babes, lots of sizzling sex. Play it again and again and again, Sam!”

Bay strode off stage, followed by his cast. The reporters were left behind to talk amongst themselves. Our common feeling was that at this very moment, Bogart and Bergman were rolling over in their graves.

Revenge Of A Giant Cranky Lizard Part Two

Business to see to first. Yesterday was a Snippet Sunday, so check out the post by Norma at her blog and the joint blog for something from our manuscript. And Shelly has some advice for writers at her blog. Last time I reviewed an earlier movie in the Godzilla franchise. Today I'm taking on the new one just out in theatres.

"The arrogance of men is thinking nature is in their control and not the other way around." ~ Ichiro Serizawa

Rising up from the apocalyptic murk of nuclear testing, the new Godzilla opens with a bang and leads into a prologue years in the past involving a nuclear plant manager, Joe Brody (Bryan Cranston) and his wife Sandra (Juliette Binoche) having a bad day in Japan when a disaster strikes at the plant they work in. In the present day, their son Ford (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) is in the Army, married to Elle (Elizabeth Olsen), and living in San Francisco. Fate draws Ford to his father in Japan, still searching for answers about what really happened all those years ago.

They make some discoveries, leading to two scientists, Ichiri Serizawa (Ken Watanabe, Batman Begins) and Vivienne Graham (Sally Hawkins) who are overseeing something at the site of the plant. It's something big, and it being a monster (not the title character, mind you) soon conveniently breaks free, hungry for some nuclear radiation. And so the stage is set for a confrontation between monsters, one of which is a gigantic cranky lizard who hasn't had his morning cup of coffee.

The director of this new version is one Gareth Edwards, who previously debuted with a well regarded film called Monsters. Edwards gives the film a stylish feel, with a story delving into the arrogance of men, the power of nature, and the theme of family ties. There are times, mind you, when the spectacle of the monster overwhelms the human element, but that's to be expected in a monster film. The story presents the gigantic beast not as an out of control juggernaut that must be stopped, but more of as an antihero. It is neither friend or enemy to humanity so much as a reminder of what can happen when humanity disregards the limits of nature. Wisely, Edwards chooses not to give us a really good look at Godzilla until well into the film. It's a good decision to pace things like that, actually.

The special effects crew do better with this than the crews for the Emmerich version in 1998. Their design of the monsters that Godzilla duels with looks interesting on screen- the creatures are winged insects, but on a massive scale. They look creepy (those with phobias about insects might want to avoid this film), and the effects involved in bringing them to life actually work well. The same goes for Godzilla, who looks more like the classic version of the character without having to be a guy in a rubber suit as was so often seen in the Japanese films. When we finally see the big guy, and he starts to roar, we can feel the sound of the roar. The visual effects, in short, are stunning. I also liked the camera work- early scenes set in the past feel like period footage, in fact, but Edwards gives us enough of a distance that we can keep track of things as we go along. That's a good thing in an action film.

The human element of the story does get overwhelmed by the monsters, mind you, but that's to be expected. Humans in these kind of stories are merely there to bear witness or run for their lives. Cranston's a well respected character actor just coming off several years in Breaking Bad. I haven't seen that series myself, but I've seen him in a lot of other things down through the years, and I like what he's capable of. Here he plays a man obsessed, shattered by grief and consumed by the certainty that things are being hidden away. Juliette Binoche playing his wife (however briefly) is a good choice as well. Much of her work has been in France, but American audiences will know her best from Chocolat. They're both good actors, and I'd quite prefer to see them in something more conventional.

The same applies for another actor. David Strathairn (Lincoln, Good Night And Good Luck) has an excellent track record as an actor. Here he plays an admiral overseeing the hunt for the creatures, responding to a dire situation as you'd expect a military officer to react- with blunt force. He plays the part with gravitas and conviction, even though he has to blurt out some peculiar expository dialogue. That's also the case with Watanabe and Hawkins, both of whom are playing characters who are reluctant to give out information. They're believable as scientists, and burdened with expository dialogue.

Elizabeth Olsen happens to be the younger sister of a pair of nitwit twins who have grown up literally in the spotlight. Strangely, this is not a bad thing- this is the first thing I've seen her in, but she comes across as grounded, as opposed to flighty and self absorbed in the fashion of her sisters who got their start in that dreck called Full House. She's sympathetic and supportive of her husband. Strangely enough, the actor playing her husband will be playing her brother when the two co-star in the next Avengers film. Aaron Taylor-Johnson comes across as believable in the role of a military officer. He grounds his performance as a man who's had the effect of an absent father in his life, and his reactions emerge from that. His character is also asked, for the sake of the story, to be courageous (or reckless, depending on your point of view), and he accomplishes that.

The new Godzilla succeeds where the Emmerich version did not. While the human element of the story is overwhelmed at times by the monsters- to be expected in something of this scale, and while there is a somber tone to the story, Edwards has crafted a film that still touches on the central themes of the franchise- man's arrogance and the punishment nature can inflict in the face of that arrogance. It gives us a monster we can still cheer for, and as a disaster flick, it rampages gleefully. 

Somewhere, Roland Emmerich is no doubt wondering if he can have a do-over.

Revenge Of A Giant Cranky Lizard Part One

Before I get into today's mayhem, links to see to first. Norma had this post about looking at reviews for her novel, The Unicorn's Daughter. Mark writes at his page about powdered alcohol. It was Friday yesterday, and so Parsnip had Square Dog Friday.

Today then, the first of two reviews. With the new film out in theatres this weekend (review expected for Monday), I thought I'd look back at the 1998 disaster as a counterpoint.

"He's not some monster trying to evade you. He's just an animal. If you find what he wants, he'll come to you." ~ Nick

"Okay, party's over, time to leave. Anyone care to join me?" ~ Philippe

In 1998, Roland Emmerich directed the big budget American Godzilla, an over the top action thriller with the big beast from Japanese films redesigned (in a way that annoyed traditionalists) and attacking New York.  The film was savaged by critics, and despite making a healthy box office at the time, no sequel was ever made, and the film's largely considered a failure. For good reason.

The original concept of Godzilla in the Japanese franchise was a response in the post-World War Two era to the trauma of nuclear bombs. The beast was tied to nuclear testing and was a reminder of the consequences of the cataclysmic power of the atom. It spawned sequels, with the gigantic lizard often pitted against other monsters. Most of those films featured men in rubber suits stomping on tiny model cities- special effects were, to say the least, minimal at best. Emmerich and his production partner Dean Devlin wrote the script after their success with Stargate and Independence Day. 

The film opens with unexplained incidents at sea involving a mysterious force moving through the Pacific, attacking fishing trawlers and heading east. It's attracting the attention of the American military, who enlist a scientist, Niko "Nick" Tatopoulos (Matthew Broderick), who's been busy studying the effects of radiation on worms around Chernobyl. He meets Colonel Hicks (Kevin Dunn), the officer assigned to oversee the search, and Elsie Chapman (Vicki Lewis), the scientist in charge of the civilian side of things. And he quickly learns that there is something very large out there, something that for its own reasons has crossed Central America and seems to be swimming for the Eastern Seaboard (the reason being that New York City is a convenient place to get totally trashed by a gigantic monster). A French spy (Jean Reno) and his team are shadowing the search. And when the cranky giant lizard finally arrives in New York, the story brings in Nick's ex girlfriend Audrey (Maria Pitillo) and a local cameraman (Hank Azaria) nicknamed Animal. What ensues is mass destruction as the beast blasts his way through town and picks fights with the military. 

Where to begin with what's wrong? Emmerich and Devlin's story a good place to start with ye olde proverbial laundry list of disasters. Logic is thrown out the window. It's overblown and silly, dedicating itself entirely to action at the cost of characterization. It lifts things without shame from much better films, like Jurassic Park and The Lost World (the baby Zillas are pretty much an attempt to capitalize on the frightening raptors of those films). It asks us to accept- as other versions have asked- that an animal this big would be walking around causing destruction, when in reality the sheer weight of the animal would collapse and destroy its lungs, killing it quickly (one of those leaps of logic). The film is something that we should be shutting off our brains while watching, but it's impossible. The inaccurate science, the stupidity of the story, and the disregard of logic make it all implausible. Godzilla is all about being over the top but having little substance. Characters are sketchily developed, leaving it in the hands of actors to make what they can of the roles; some succeed, others do not. The dialogue often comes across as juvenile. 

The whole movie feels like it's drowning at times. For some reason the whole thing needed to be soaked in rain- to the point where the audience feels like they've been in a downpour. New York is rendered as a drenched hellhole (even before Big G starts going ballistic). When the critter (and his offspring) start running wild, this should be the point where the special effects kick in and start really shining (and distracting one from the weaknesses of the plot). That doesn't happen. Godzilla is inconsistent at times, mostly seen in flashes and in dim lighting (convenient to allow special effects to render him underwhelming). At times we're supposed to guess how big he is; that's the problem with the inconsistencies. He goes about totaling the city, picking fights with military forces, and being a really bad houseguest (this happens with giant monsters). While the destruction of the city is rendered well enough (with the destruction of Madison Square Garden in particular spectacular), the inconsistency of the special effects teams in regards to the beast and the hatchling monsters hurts the film as a whole. One element of the crew that's worth mentioning, however, is composer David Arnold. This is one of those movies that comes along where the music score is the only redeeming quality of the film (it happens more often than you might think). Arnold had worked with Emmerich and Devlin on Stargate and Independence Day before, and this was his last collaboration with them. As with the earlier work, his score was richly dark, thrilling, and magnificent- worlds better than the material of the film itself. At the time, Arnold was just starting out the beginning of a long run of James Bond scores, so he came out of this successfully.

The inconsistency extends to the cast, some of whom are better than the material deserves, some... well, who are not. Vicki Lewis is one of the former. She plays Elsie with a sardonic air, something of a smart aleck and cynic. She's underused, but even so, there's something of a spark between her and Nick- I find myself often wondering why they didn't go with that angle instead for a love interest. I've seen her in other work, and like what she's capable of. Kevin Dunn's an actor who deserves better than the material in question. He also turned up in Michael Bay's Transformers series, which would rate as another bad choice, but I've seen him in other films that give him better material- such as the sympathetic political operative in Dave. He's wasted here. Michael Lerner's another actor who should have known better, an interesting character actor who has to play the obnoxious local mayor (paired with one of his aides, the two characters are a direct lookalike insult to the late critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert). Harry Shearer, a comedian who's done a lot of respected work as a cast member of The Simpsons and as part of the mockumentary This Is Spinal Tap is also wasted as a lecherous local television anchor. And Doug Savant- whose acting skills I can't really comment on one way or another, since I haven't seen him in anything else- spends much of the film looking confused as a military sergeant who's pretty much in charge of things on the ground as infantry runs around the city trying to track down the big cranky lizard. 

The leads are also inconsistent. I'll start with the weaker side of things. I have not seen Maria Pitillo in anything else, so I can't comment on her qualities as an actress. I suspect, however, that the problems with her character are more of a reflection on the profound weaknesses of the script. Her Audrey is a whiny kind of daydreamer stuck in a rut, and yet also something of an opportunist willing to do something underhanded to get ahead. It's not a sympathetic character, and yet we're supposed to like her because she had a thing years ago with the lead character and neither of them quite got over it. Her colleague Victor (aka Animal) is another problem in the cast. Hank Azaria might just be playing Hank Azaria (from the other stuff I've seen him in, aside from his voice work in The Simpsons, he doesn't strike me as having much range), and he plays Victor as a sarcastic wiseass, and he comes across as pretty obnoxious. Is it that hard for a gigantic monster to stomp someone like this into paste? The other two leads are better than the material deserves. Jean Reno is a well respected French actor who, at this point in his career, had started branching out into American films as well. He plays the spy as a decisive leader, trying to fix a problem his country has inadvertently created. He's resourceful, pragmatic, and courageous, and he comes across as someone not to be trifled with. Matthew Broderick is similarly wasted in this film; he's capable of much better. He plays the role as a knowledgeable, curious fellow who follows evidence and hard data, making leaps of logic at times. He's exasperated by the fact that people keep mispronouncing his name, and more than one time in this disaster do we see Broderick with an expression that makes us wonder if he was thinking he made a mistake when he signed onto this disaster.

Godzilla, as envisioned by Emmerich and Devlin, is an exercise in stupidity that leaves the audience needing to leave their brain at the door. It's all spectacle and little substance that glosses over the deeper issues that made the original franchise relevant (otherwise who could find a guy in a rubber dinosaur suit interesting?), and wastes the talent of some good actors who should have known better. Yes, it has its moments, but generally speaking, it's a muddled mess.