A Day In The Life Of A Cat

 And now it is time for Her Supreme Highness, the cat, to have the last word in such matters.

7:02 AM. Waking up. Yawn and a stretch. Still looks kind of dark out there.

7:05 AM. An examination of the exterior from the back of the chair. Some flying lunches at the bird feeder. Twitching my tail and muttering to myself, fixated on them. Of course they're oblivious to me.

7:14 AM. Waiting on the staff to get downstairs and see to my breakfast. After all, I don't have all day to wait, and she'll be going off to that work place sooner or later...

7:18 AM. Come on, staff, what's taking you? Do I have to come up there and meow?

7:23 AM. The staff finally makes her way down stairs. It's about time, staff.

7:24 AM. Explaining to the staff about my requirements for breakfast. While I certainly appreciate milk and meat for my breakfast, I must remind you that the field rations are not welcome. So it's time for you to stop buying it. Are we understood on that?

7:26 AM. The staff has put my breakfast down on the floor. The plate of tuna and bowl of milk are a welcome sight. The bowl of field rations is not.

7:28 AM. Finished with breakfast. I have ignored the field rations. Will leave the staff to have her breakfast in peace.

7:36 AM. Sitting on the back of the couch. Somewhere in the distance I can hear the barking of that foul mutt from down the road. Stupid dog.

7:46 AM. The staff is heading out for the day. Staff, I would remind you we are running low on milk.

7:49 AM. The staff has departed the property in the car. 

Now then, what's on the schedule for today?

8:02 AM. Watching the Weather Channel. Grown adults are talking about what sort of weather Santa is going to be dealing with in a few nights.

Come on. There are no kids watching this. And Santa doesn't exist.

8:35 AM. Have spent some time watching the flying lunches. Since I can't go outside and chase them, I might as well take a nap.

11:49 AM. Waking up from my nap. Slept well. Feeling a bit hungry.

11:51 AM. Disappointed to find that there's only field rations in the kitchen.

Oh well, might as well make do.

1:30 PM. Woken up out of a perfectly good nap by the barking of that foul mutt from down the road. A check of the clock determines that he's barking at the mailman, no doubt.

2:47 PM. Checking the calendar. Note to self: hopefully the staff doesn't invite any of her idiot relations over for the holidays. I really don't like going into hiding for three days.

4:53 PM. The staff arrives home, bearing groceries.

You remembered the milk, right?

5:00 PM. Supervising the staff while she puts groceries away. Ah, yes. There's the milk. Good.

6:35 PM. Dinner with the staff. She's made apple and bacon pancakes, and has cut up a couple into nice bite sized pieces just for me. Very good, staff. Very good indeed.

8:21 PM. The staff is busy putting up the Christmas tree. I am supervising, and planning my first climbing routes to the top.

9:34 PM. Staff? Can we please turn off the Christmas music? I don't want to listen to Mariah Carey sing that awful song.

11:30 PM. The staff is off to bed. Good night, staff, and sleep well.

I may knock an ornament or two off the tree in the night for no reason.

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

It is time once again for the perspective of the dog and the cat. As usual, the dog gets the first word in, as he is so easily distracted.

7:05 AM. Waking up. Big yawn and a stretch. Slept well. Dreamed of chasing squirrels.

7:07 AM. Checking the exterior. No sign of squirrels. The sun rises later and later these days as we get closer to winter. Speaking of which, more snow on the ground during the night. I approve of this, because I like playing in the snow.

7:11 AM. Waiting on the human to get downstairs. After all, breakfast won't see to itself, you know.

7:19 AM. Thumping my tail furiously against the floor as the human comes downstairs. Good morning, human!

7:21 AM. Watching with great anticipation as the human pours me a big bowl with kibbles.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy....

7:22 AM. Licking my chops after finishing off breakfast in near record time.

7:26 AM. Inquiring with the human as to if she'll let me out for a run.

7:28 AM. The human lets me out the back door. See you later, human!

7:37 AM. Running through the snow in the back fields, barking my head off, as happy as I can be. Woof!

7:52 AM. Stopping in to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. Hey, Spike!

7:54 AM. After the customary doggie greetings, Spike and I set to talking about what's most important in life. To crush the mailmen. Drive them before us. And hear the lamentations of their women.

8:00 AM. Spike advises that his humans are getting visitors in over the Christmas holidays. As long as there aren't kids involved, Spike. They chase you and they yell and they never let up...

8:12 AM. Spike and I part ways after he says he'll keep me up to date on the movements of the mailman.

8:29 AM. Rolling through a snowdrift just because I can.

8:41 AM. Coming home. Barking to let the human know I've returned. Human! It is I, Loki! Annoyer of Mailmen and Chewer of Slippers. Let me in!

8:43 AM. The human catches me before I can sprint in and starts to apply the Towel of Torment. Come on, human!

8:45 AM. The human finally lets me in and I settle by the fireplace. Human, honestly. There is no such thing as wet dog smell.

10:45 AM. Using my patented mooching eyes to convince the human to part ways with a cookie.

12:13 PM. Lunch with the human. I've mooched a ham and cheese sandwich off her.

1:30 PM. Fierce barking at the mailman as he drops things off at the mailbox.

3:42 PM. Afternoon tea with the human. By which I mean she's having tea and I'm enjoying a cookie.

6:21 PM. Dinner with the human. She's made spaghetti and meatballs for herself. While she's not sharing spaghetti- something about the last time she did that- she did make some meatballs for me, which I'm devouring at my leisure. Life is good.

8:45 PM. Sitting in the living room, staring at that blank spot by the wall. In a couple of days the human will put a Christmas tree there.

I think the only reason she does it is to befuddle me.

11:26 PM. The human is off to bed. Good night, human. Sleep well. But keep the door open. I might want to come jump up on you for no reason at two in the morning.

An Annual Turkey Fueled Black Friday Riot

It is American Thanksgiving today, that annual kick off of weeks of feasting that is mashed up right into Christmas, along with Black Friday assaults for the latest Grand Theft Auto or whatever the hell is this year's must buy. I have an image blog for the occasion.  Enjoy!