A Day In The Life Of A Cat

And now it is time for the point of view of that highest of life forms, the cat.

7:00 AM. Waking up at home. Slept very well. Dreamed of vengeance against my enemies.

7:03 AM. An examination of the exterior from the back of the couch. Some flying lunches out there pecking away in the grass. I wonder how soon we'll see frost. Fall is coming.

7:07 AM. Waiting on the staff to get downstairs. After all, it is breakfast time, and I haven't eaten in hours.

7:12 AM. As there's no sign of her yet, but I can hear her upstairs, I shall have to remind her to get down here by singing the song of my people, as loudly as I can.

7:20 AM. The staff finally comes downstairs. It's about time, staff. Did you know I was this close to sending a search party after you?

7:21 AM. The staff makes a remark about my singing. Yes, whatever. Now how about we get you going on my breakfast?

7:22 AM. Supervising the staff while she gets my breakfast ready. No field rations, staff, are we clear on that? I don't like field rations. 

7:23 AM. The staff puts my breakfast down on the floor. The bowl of milk and the plate of tuna meet with my approval. But she persists in putting down a bowl of field rations too.

The things I put up with....

7:25 AM. Finished with my breakfast. Milk and tuna were welcome. I have ignored the field rations. Time to give my staff a bit of peace and quiet before she goes to work.

7:40 AM. The staff is off to work. Well, farewell, staff. Do remember that we're low on milk, if you don't mind. And I could use some catnip.

7:43 AM. Sitting on the back of the couch, staring outside. Somewhere in the distance I can hear that foul mutt from down the road barking.

Stupid dog.

8:02 AM. Watching the Weather Network. They mention the cooling temperatures in the days ahead. And that suits me just fine. I'm not one for summer humidity as it is.

8:49 AM. I believe a nap is called for, if you ask me- and you are asking me.

10:55 AM. Waking up. Big stretch. A patrol of the house is in order. But first- I'm feeling a bit hungry.

10:57 AM. Disappointed to remember that the only food out in the open is that bowl of field rations.

Oh well, when in Rome....

11:25 AM. Making use of the scratching post. My claws are unleashing residual scent... oh, it's catnip. 

That'll set off catnip zoomies in three, two, one...

3:25 PM. Waking up out of a sound sleep. Catnip zoomies always end in me taking a long snooze.

Better assess what damage I might have done around the house before the staff gets home.

3:45 AM. Okay, so not too bad. Four scatter rugs upturned and in piles, but nothing busted. I'm sure the staff will look at them and mutter a few choice words of dismay.

5:10 PM. The staff arrives at home, bringing in groceries. Staff, for the record, I did that to the rugs in self defense. 

5:23 PM. The staff is putting groceries away. I approve of the milk.

6:33 PM. Dinner with the staff. She's made apple and bacon pancakes, and has cut up a couple into nice bite-sized pieces for me. Very good, staff, I approve.

8:10 PM. Lying on the couch, pondering the great mysteries of existence. Is catnip the meaning of life?

9:31 PM. Allowing the staff to give me belly rubs.

11:40 PM. The staff is off to bed. Good night, staff, sleep well.

And keep the door open. Or I will have to sing you the song of my people.

A Day In The Life Of A Dog

 It is time once again for the perspective of the dog and the cat. As always, the dog gets the first word in on these things, since he is so easily distracted by everything.

7:02 AM. Waking up at home. Slept very well indeed. Dreamed of chasing squirrels.

7:04 AM. A look outside the windows. Birds out on the lawns. The sun is rising later these days, and the nights are getting cooler. Soon we'll be running through leaves and getting frost, and before you know it, it'll be winter.

7:09 AM. Waiting on the human to get downstairs. After all, I can't see to my breakfast alone. 

7:21 AM. The human comes downstairs. I thump my tail in greetings. Good morning, human! Fine day, isn't it? Say, how about we start putting some thought into my breakfast?

7:23 AM. The human is pouring a big bowl of kibbles.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy...

7:24 AM. Have finished off the kibbles in near-record fastest time. 

That was good!

7:27 AM. Inquiring with the human as to if she'll let me out for a run.

7:28 AM. Out the back door and on my way. See you later, human!

7:43 AM. Running through the back fields, barking my head off. As happy as I can be.

7:52 AM. Stopping in to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. Hey, Spike!

7:53 AM. After customary doggie greetings, Spike and I get down to talking about matters of the greatest canine urgency.

What are the mailmen plotting?

8:03 AM. Parting ways with Spike, who says he'll let me know when the mailman is passing by his place.

8:13 AM. On my way through the woods, heading home, not a worry in my head.

8:14 AM. Pause in my steps. Uh oh.

It's a black and white striped terror ahead on the trail.

A skunk.

8:15 AM. Staying perfectly still. Don't set him off, don't set him off.

Hey, skunk, listen... you don't want to spray me, and I don't want to get sprayed. Can we agree on that?

8:16 AM. The skunk stares at me as if considering his options.... and then wanders off into the brush. 

Deep breath of relief. That could have gone much worse.

8:31 AM. Back home. Barking to let the human know I'm here. She opens the back door.

Human! You're lucky! You might have been putting me through the tomato juice bath of doom right now.

10:35 AM. Scarfing a cookie from the human while she has coffee.

12:10 PM. Using my mooching technique to convince the human to let me have a ham and cheese sandwich.

1:34 PM. Barking at the mailman as he drops some stuff off at the mailbox and drives away.

The human tells me he's just doing his job.

But human! He's evil!

3:24 PM. The human is having afternoon tea. I am convincing her that it is necessary to provide me with a cookie.

6:30 PM. Dinner with the human. She's given me a plate of macaroni and meat.

This is good!

8:41 PM. Pondering the great mysteries of existence. What if the mailman has a dog at home? And the dog doesn't know he's a mailman? Or worse... doesn't care?

11:28 PM. The human is off to bed. Good night, human, sleep well.

I'll likely join you at two in the morning.