The Lottery Winner Scammer

Now then, simply because they keep sending me this nonsense, and simply because all good things and bad things come in threes, I thought I'd round out this set of posts dealing with internet scammers with another egregious example of the unwelcome work of an internet scammer. Otherwise known as a member of that subspecies we call homo sapiens spammeritis annoyingus. They never do take a hint, and keep emailing the same random ploy to hundreds of thousands of people, all while hoping for someone to be dumb enough to buy into the scam.

Such as the following, which came to my email some weeks ago.

MEGA MILLIONS JACKPOT

Customer Service Centre

Ref:USS/34085746305872/11

Batch: 828/34/3473

Dear Lucky Winner:

We happily announce to you the draw of the US MEGA MILLIONS-JACKPOT Lottery programs held on TUESDAY, 1/31/2023. Your email address attached to ticket number: 564 75600545188 with Serial number 5368/01 drew the lucky numbers: 7-9-18-29-39-13 which subsequently won you the lottery in the 2nd category.

You have been approved to claim a total sum of (Nine Million Four Hundred Thousand United States Dollars only) in cash credited to file KTUS/9023118308/01.This is from a total cash prize of $515 million jackpot, shared amongst the first Lucky-Winners in this category.

All participants were selected randomly from the World Wide Web site through a computer draw system and extracted from over 100,000 companies. This promotion takes place annually. Your lucky winning number falls within our North American booklet representative office as indicated. In view of this, your (Nine Million Four Hundred Thousand United States Dollars only) will be released to you by our paying bank in that regard.

Our North American agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your funds as soon as you contact him.

To file for your claim, contact our fiduciary agent with your full names, mobile number, Age, Occupation, physical address and copy us:

Contact person: William Jobs

Email: megalottous@usa.com

Do quote your winning/reference/batch numbers in any correspondence with us or our designated agent.

Sincerely,

Ms Linda Pacelli

US MEGA MILLIONS Co-ordinator 

TAKE NOTE: If You Receive This Message In Your Junk Or Spam Folder It’s As A Result Of Your Internet Provider Move It To Inbox

Sigh. Double sigh. Infinity sigh plus one.

They just don't get it.

Well, where to begin? Well, yes, there's a Mega Millions jackpot, but this isn't it. First off, you have to buy a real ticket. Second, I haven't been in the United States in years. So being told I'm a random winner of a lottery that I didn't even buy into is suspicious.

Along with everything else.

They use the term "the World Wide Web site." I mean, who says that? Aside from a scammer who's desperately trying to come across as a native born speaker of the English language, and trying to come across as professional and legitimate. And failing badly.

They capitalize words that don't need it. They have the tell tale issues of spacing in their sentences.

They use a name, Linda Pacelli, that was used in internet scams going back over ten years. I feel sorry for the real Linda Pacellis of the world.

This idiot comes up with an agent who'll handle everything, one "William Jobs." All while asking for my full names (yes, names), mobile number, age, occupation, and physical address. 

Oh, right. The social insurance information and credit card numbers will come later as part of the inevitable "processing fees" that this scammer will use to scam a few thousand off of the gullible.

Nice try. But I know better. Maybe one of the other five hundred thousand people you sent this to will be dumb enough to believe it.

Why don't you do the world a favour?

Go back in time and meet up with the real Cocaine Bear. Somewhere in that five minute window.