Spammers And Scammers Everywhere!

They never take a hint, do they?

You can post something with this very title, and sure enough, it will attract the sort of spam crap that you'd like to never see again. The spam about medical insurance, travel to Djibouti, carpets, running shoes, or where to bury yourself if you die far from home. Nonsensical sentences with the inevitable links turn up. And yet the blog filters send them off to the purgatory of the spam folders nearly every time, where they will languish forever after, never to be published, and rightfully so.

And then there are the endless variations on the Nigerian Scammer. Such as this one that turned up in my email junk folder a couple of weeks back.

UNITED NATIONS COMPENSATION AWARD 2015 APPROVED YOUR PAYMENT.UNITED NATIONS ASSISTED PROGRAM
DIRECTORATE OF INTERNATIONAL
PAYMENT AND TRANSFERS.
TRANSFER/AUDIT UNIT
Our Ref: WB/NF/JPP/UN/XX-321/02015.
Attention : Sir/Madam .
 
I would like to let it be known that in a meeting held by the United Nations in Affiliation with the World Bank Organization and the U.S States Government, it has been agreed that a compensation of USD$6.5 Million has been approved in your name. This Compensation program was organized to compensate all the people who have in time past had unfinished transaction and those that has been scammed in any part of the world. This compensation scheme was set up under the United Nations Project for unsettled debts and scam victims rehabilitation scheme.
 
Your E-mail Address was drawn automatically web directory through an E-mail ballot machine, that is why this mail was sent to you and you are qualified to receive the above mentioned compensation payment.
 
A Bank Draft RefNo: 972 7742 431 002626 has been allocated to you which will be credited with your payment of US$6.5 Million Dollars which will be delivered to you in person at your place of residence.
 
You are hereby advised to contact Bank Manager of Zenith Bank Plc in the name of Dr.Jim Ovia at the address below for your payment :
Contact Person : Dr.Jim Ovia.
Bank Name : Zenith Bank Plc
Email: zenithbank-ng-plc@cd2.com
Personal Phone: +234-814-820-2663
 
You are also instructed to forward the following information below to the above Bank for complete processing and delivery of your Bank Draft to you.
1. Your Full Name :
2. Your Home/Mobile Telephone No:
3. Your Home or Office Address :
4. Age/Occupation/Marital Status:
5. Country OF ORIGIN:
You are advised to contact the Zenith at the address above, and have your information listed above forwarded to them with 72 hrs you receive this message to avoid cancelation of your payment.
Thanks for your patience, and do contact us in the near future when you have successfully received your payment.
 
Best Regard,
Ms. Valerie Amos.
 
 

And I'm back again after that rambling scam by Ms. Valerie Amos, or whoever the hell is really behind that nonsense. Did you know that if you google the UN Directorate of International Payments and Transfers, what you get is pages of scam alert bulletins. Not that it's a surprise, given that this bears the usual hallmarks of the Nigerian Scammer. Capitalization in the wrong places. Incorrect grammar. I mean, seriously, the U.S. States Government? You do realize, Scamming Scammer, that the S means States, right? Or are you even stupider than I already think you are? And it's unfinished transactions, not unfinished transaction.

Apparently Ms. Amos thinks I'm qualified to have 6.5 million dollars because I've been scammed elsewhere in the world. I've got news for you: I've never been scammed. Unlike the knuckledragging buffoons who are dumb enough to believe any of this. 

Dear scammers and spammers, from the bottom of my heart, I can only say this: 

Find a bridge. Jump off it. You'll be dead and we'll be rid of you. It's a win-win both ways. Well, not so much for you, but for the rest of humanity that find you tedious, obnoxious, and a pain in the butt, it's a big win!