It is time again for the point of view of the dog and cat. As always, the dog has the first word.
7:09 AM. Waking up at home. Slept
exceedingly well. Dreamed of chewing on a nice stewing bone.
7:12 AM. Looking outside at the pre-dawn.
More snow fell in the night. Such a pleasant sight to see. I’ve got to get out
there for awhile and run around in it, but priorities first, Loki. Breakfast is my highest priority, and for that I require the presence of my human.
7:16 AM. The human comes downstairs. Hello,
human! Top of the morning to you! Say, are you feeling as hungry as I am? Because
I’m hungry.
7:18 AM. Wagging my tail furiously while
the human pours a big bowl of kibbles for me.
7:19 AM. Licking my chops after devouring
breakfast. Boy, was that tasty!
7:22 AM. Beckoning the human to let me out
for my morning run. She complies.
7:25 AM. Running through the back fields, barking my head off, as happy as I can be.
7:33 AM. Sniffing around in the woods. Nice
and cold today. The kind of cold that makes you feel alive. And happy to be out
in. And then happy to get back in and by the fireplace where you can warm up
your belly.
7:37 AM. Running into something much larger
than I am on the path in the woods. Well, hello, moose!
7:38 AM. It turns out a moose doesn’t have
much of a sense of humour. Getting chased through the woods by the big fellow.
Note to self: don’t bark at something that big.
7:40 AM. The moose appears to have broken
off the pursuit and is satisfied that I won’t bark at him again. For future
reference, only bark at a moose from behind the window.
8:03 AM. Arriving back home. Barking to
alert the human to my presence.
8:04 AM. The human opens the door and
intercepts me with the Towel of Torment before I can run inside and shake off
the excess snow in the living room. I sigh, but put up with the application of
the Towel. After all… she feeds me.
8:06 AM. The human is finished toweling me
off, and I give her a nice wet nose touch to the hand. Cold, huh? Oh, by the
way, did I mention the moose? I don’t think I made a good impression. Just in
case you’re wondering later why that moose is staring into the windows. Not
that something like that would happen, I’m just saying in case.
8:49 AM. I think it’s time for a nap. Sure,
I’ve been awake less than two hours, but I had a busy morning already getting
chased by a moose and running around in the snow and facing the Towel of
Torment. I’d say I’ve earned it. Therefore, I circle around three times on the
rug in the living room before settling down for a nap. Belly towards the
fireplace, of course.
11:17 AM. Waking up from nap. Looking at
clock. Oh, good, I didn’t oversleep. I can mooch at lunch.
12:08 PM. My patented sad eyes look at
lunchtime pays off. The human gives me a dinner roll. Ham and cheese! Oh boy! Yum yum yum!
1:37 PM. Barking up a storm as the mailman
drops off some mail. Get lost, vile fiend!
2:44 PM. Coming through the living room
when I notice something out of place outside the front window. Hey, it’s that
moose! And he’s staring right at me!
2:46 PM. The human, alerted by my barking,
steps out on the front porch and gives the moose a carrot. The moose accepts it
happily. Say, human, you never give me a carrot. Wait a minute, do I even like carrots?
2:48 PM. Watching the moose head off away
from the house. The human comes back in after bidding the moose goodbye. Oh, sure,
human, give him a carrot, but tell me this: can a moose wag his tail? I don’t
think so!
4:11 PM. I have just mooched an oatmeal
cookie from the human. Yum yum yum!
5:03 PM. Coming to make inquiries with the
human. Have you put any thought into dinner?
6:36 PM. Dinner with the human. Sausages
cut up for me. I approve of this, human, I really do…
8:50 PM. Lying on my side near the
fireplace, warming my belly. Pondering the great mysteries of canine existence.
Does the tail wag the dog?
11:41 PM. The human is off to bed. Very
well, human. Good night. Sweet dreams and all that. I shall remain at my post,
guarding the domain against all threats, real or imagined. After all, you never
know if this is the night the mailman decides to screw with our heads and deliver
the mail at three in the morning.
I'm so glad we only have squirrels for my dogs to bark their brains out. Or, also, nothing at all--because one of mine just like to bark down the empty street for the hell of it....
ReplyDeleteDogs can be weird!
DeleteYep. I hear the nothing there barking regularly. My dogs tell me it's their version of Nine o'clock and All is Well.
ReplyDeleteThat would make sense!
DeleteBest post !
ReplyDeleteMandibles was barking like crazy at the red trash can at Pet Co. Not sure why but we decided that we really did not want to find out what was in the can and why he did not like it. He is so weird.
cheers, parsnip and mandibles
Weird but adorable!
DeleteThat German shepherd is gorgeous!
ReplyDelete...and knows it!
DeleteSo funny! We don't have any moose around here, but the Great Dane I had while growing up did get attacked by a mama raccoon once. He survived with a scratched nose.
ReplyDeleteMama critters are not to be trifled with!
DeleteLoved the moose. Beautiful German Shepherd in that one picture.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteI really love Bouncer Dog!
ReplyDeleteBouncer Dog is a cutie.
DeleteThe bouncer dog is great, but my favorite is the blackmailing dog who knows where the socks are. He seems so suave about the whole thing!
ReplyDeleteHe does!
Delete