A Day In The Life Of A Dog

It is time once again for the perspective of the dog and the cat. As always, the dog has the first word in these things, since he is perpetually distracted by so many things.

7:21 AM. Waking up out of a sound sleep at home. Slept very well. Dreamed of chasing squirrels.

7:22 AM. A look outside. Still dark out there, but there's been more snow in the night. This is a good thing. I love doing snowdrift jumps. But first things first. Breakfast. Priorities, Loki my boy, priorities.

7:27 AM. The human comes downstairs. I start furiously thumping my tail on the floor as a sign of how pleased I am. Good morning, human! Fine day, isn't it? Say, how about breakfast?

7:29 AM. The human is pouring me a big bowl of kibbles.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy....

7:30 AM. Licking my chops after finishing off breakfast. That was good!

7:42 AM. Inquiring with the human as to if she'll let me out for a run. 

7:44 AM. Out the door and on my way. Boy, is it brisk today! See you later, human!

7:55 AM. Running through the back fields and all the snow, barking my head off, as happy as I can be. 

8:09 AM. Stopping by to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. Hey, Spike!

8:10 AM. After the customary doggie greetings, Spike and I start discussing things of most pressing importance to hounds. Like the movements of the enemy, otherwise known as squirrels.

8:12 AM. Spike advises me that his humans have started feeding the birds, so of course the squirrels are out raiding the feeders on a regular basis. But they seem to know when he's outside.

Same here, Spike. Same here. They must have inside information.

8:15 AM. Spike informs me his humans are having company over for the upcoming Christmas holidays. Oh, Spike, hopefully it's not company with kids. Kids do things like pull your tail and want to ride you like a horse...

8:20 AM. Spike and I go our separate ways after he assures me he'll keep me posted by dog barks when the mailman shows up at his place.

8:28 AM. Wandering through the woods, sniffing at things... hey, you know what? I'm near that property where that cranky cat lives.

8:31 AM. Wandering about on the property, looking around... oh, wait. There she is lying on a windowsill. Looking all content and quiet.

I think I'll bark a hello.

8:32 AM. My hello has not met with the ideal response. Instead she appears to be hissing at me, making all sorts of curses, and giving me the finger.

I will never understand cats.

8:34 AM. Departing the property and back into the woods. I wonder if she's going to call in a favour with a skunk or something like that.

No, no. Skunks are hibernating right now.

She may call in that favour in the spring.

8:31 AM. Strolling through the snow and the woods, thinking of cookies. 

I do not have a one track mind.

8:50 AM. Barking to let the human know I'm back. Human! It is I! Loki! Chewer of Slippers and Annoyer of Mailmen!

8:53 AM. The human manages to stop me before I can sprint outside and vigorously applies the Towel of Torment to dry me off.

Human, there is no such thing as wet dog smell. I am perfectly capable of drying off by the fireplace, you know...

10:45 AM. The human is having coffee. She has thoughtfully provided me with a sugar cookie.

12:21 PM. Lunch with the human. I have mooched a ham and cheese sandwich off her.

1:29 PM. Unleashing a volley of barks at the mailman as he drops stuff off at the mailbox and drives away.

And don't come back, you coward!!!!!!

4:12 PM. The human is having tea. I've convinced her to give me a cookie.

6:38 PM. Dinner time. The human has cut up a plate of beef for me. For whatever reason she insists on having carrots with her meat.

11:38 PM. The human is off to bed. Good night, human! Sleep well. I shall guard the house throughout the night without fail.

In between naps.