A Day In The Life Of A Dog

It is time once again for the point of view of the resident dog and cat, starting off as always with that of the hound...

7:22 AM. Waking up. Had dreams of devouring leftover steak. I wonder if we’ve got any leftover steak in the fridge. I could find out myself, but I suffer from the disadvantage of not having opposable thumbs.

7:26 AM. Having a look out the front window. It looks like a nice, pleasant day. Some birds are out there on the lawn, pecking away. If I was out there right now, I’d be barking up a storm and chasing you all off.

7:33 AM. The human comes downstairs. I wag my tail with a furious energy in greetings. Hello, human! Isn’t it a lovely day? Say, have you been putting any thought into breakfast? Because I’d love to wolf down a bowl of kibbles right about now. I’m just saying.

7:35 AM. Chowing down my breakfast. Kibbles are yummy first thing in the morning.

7:41 AM. Out the back door for my morning run. See you later, human! 

7:48 AM. Running through the back fields, barking my head off. Woof woof woof!

7:57 AM. Stopping by to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. Hello, Spike!

7:58 AM. Spike and I greet each other in the customary doggie fashion and then begin to confer on the movements of the enemy. And by the enemy, I refer of course to the despicable ne’er do wells known as the squirrels.

8:01 AM. Spike and I wonder if the increased chatter of the squirrels lately means they’re up to something. I suggest that they might be plotting something nefarious and vile, like an all out raid on the bird feed stocks the humans will be buying soon. Spike says he wouldn’t put anything past the squirrels, what with them being squirrels and all.

8:03 AM. Parting ways with Spike. We agree to keep a close eye out for squirrels and mailmen.

8:19 AM. Passing by the home of that cranky cat. Well, there she is, out on the deck. Pondering the wisdom as to venturing over there. Oh, why not? I think I should go say hello. Top of the morning to you, and maybe bark my head off. What’s the worst that can happen?

8:20 AM. Wagging my tail as I walk across the lawn. The cat hasn’t noticed me yet.

8:21 AM. Closing in on the cat. Still haven’t been noticed. Looks like she’s dozing.

8:22 AM. Despite my better judgment, which, admittedly, I wasn’t listening to when I pondered whether or not I should come onto the property for all of 0.0006 seconds, and which would tell me that I should just turn around and leave her to sleep in peace, I can’t resist.

I let out one loud woof.

8:23 AM. Running for my life with that cranky cat at my heels, wagging my tail, thoroughly pleased with myself.

8:25 AM. Back in the woods. The cranky cat has broken off the pursuit. 

8:39 AM. Coming back home. Barking to alert the human to my presence. 

8:43 AM. Circling around on the living room rug three times before settling down for my morning nap. Note to self: set the internal alarm clock to wake up before noon. We can’t miss out on mooching opportunities, after all.

11:57 AM. Waking up. Checking the clock. Ah, good, I didn’t sleep through lunch.

12:11 PM. Mooching  a couple of dinner rolls from the human. Yum yum yum!

1:03 PM. The human asks if I want to go for a ride. Human, you don’t even have to ask. Though I must raise two points. First, if we leave now, that deprives me of the chance to bark at the mailman when he shows up. Second, are we going for a ride, or is this your way of tricking me into a visit to the vet?

2:17 PM. Running around in the park in town, splashing around in the lake, catching a stick for the human. Having a ball. Does life ever get any better than this? I don’t think so.

2:46 PM. The human’s treating me to an ice cream cone. Yum yum yum!

6:21 PM. Dinner with the human. Some cuts of steak for me. Human? Have I told you lately that I love you?

8:40 PM. Engaging in a serious session of chase the tail. The human looks at me as if I’ve lost my mind.

11:29 PM. The human is off to bed. Good night, human! Sleep well! Never fear, I’ll keep a close eye on the house and guard against an invasion of squirrels. Right after I catch forty winks.