The Secret Order Of Infernal Scammers

 You would wish that they'd just go away. Or into a coma, or even better yet, just die. It's not as if they contribute anything at all to society. I speak of the hordes of repugnant people otherwise known as homo sapiens spammeritis annoyingus. The internet scammers and spammers who have absolutely nothing to do with their time but spam us with crap we're not interested in, or send the same form letter scam to hundreds of thousands of random email addresses, hoping someone will buy the bait. The following turned up in my email recently.

Greetings, from the illuminati world elite empire, Are you a business Man/woman,

politician, musician, student, salary earner.

Do you strive to expand your knowledge and personal development, want to be rich,

need protection, be powerful and famous.

if YES!. Then you can achieve your dreams by being a member of the great illuminati empire,

Once you are a  member all your dreams and heart desire can be fully accomplish.

With this brief summary, If you are interested to become a member of the great illuminati then

get back to us for more information about joining the illuminati.

kindly reply us back on our direct recruitment email only at: infoilluminati003@gmail.com

Please note, Kindly make sure all your response are send directly to the email stated above only at: infoilluminati003@gmail.com

For more instructions on our membership process.

Note: Some email providers incorrectly place official Illuminati messages in their spam / junk folder or promotion folder.

This can divert and exclude our responses to your emails.

The Illuminati.                     

I've seen this kind of crap before. There's an idiot out there who mass spams the same copy and paste  Welcome to the Illuminati comment into blogs from time to time- but haven't heard from him in a long time. Maybe Covid did us all a favour and removed him from the face of the earth.

This idiot gives us some of the same tell-tales of your typical scammer, capitalizing some words and not capitalizing words that do (note to the scammer- if you're claiming to represent the Illuminati, you might want to actually capitalize the damned word). They're passing themselves off as a member of the Illuminati, looking to recruit.

Only thing is, there is no Illuminati, hasn't been for centuries. Except in the demented fantasies of a bunch of conspiracy theories, and in the plotline of a Dan Brown novel. It's defunct, kaput, a non-entity. Point is, the organization they claim to be part of is as non-existent as the 5.2 million dollars that you see a Cancer Widow offering in other scam emails (the money's not really resting in an account, and unfortunately the scammer doesn't actually have cancer, we've pretty much established that by now). So no, this is not the Illuminati.

Nice try, numbskull. But if I were to start going down this rabbit hole of emails with you, it would end with you wanting access to my bank account numbers, social insurance number, and life insurance policy. What could possibly go wrong with that?

As it's not possible for you to do anything productive in life, I think there's only one option for you.

I'd suggest something medieval, just to teach you some manners.