A Day In The Life Of A Cat

And now it is time for the cat to have her say, for as a supreme being, she must always have the last word in everything.

6:57 AM. Waking up and taking a big stretch. Slept well. Dreamed of fields of catnip.

7:03 AM. Examining the exterior from the back of the couch. Some flying lunches pecking around on the grass. Sun's been up for a long while already. It's too early in the day to wake up if you ask me, and you are asking me.

7:09 AM. Wondering how long it'll take for the staff to get down here and start seeing to my breakfast. 

7:15 AM. Come on, staff, I know you're awake, get down here and feed me!

7:24 AM. The staff finally comes downstairs. It's about time, staff, I was about to come up there and yell. Did you know I've been awake nearly a half hour and haven't eaten yet?

7:26 AM. Issuing instructions to the staff on specifics for my breakfast. 

7:27 AM. ...and by the way, staff, just to be absolutely clear, there is to be no bowl of field rations involved in my breakfast. Do we understand each other?

7:29 AM. The staff puts my breakfast down on the floor. A bowl of milk and a plate of chicken meet with my approval. The bowl of field rations does not.

7:32 AM. Have finished my breakfast. I have entirely ignored the bowl of field rations in the hope that my staff might someday understand my disdain. 

I shall leave her to have her breakfast in peace.

7:35 AM. Somewhere off in the distance I can hear the barking of that foul hound from down the road.

He'd better not come onto my property, or there'll be hell to pay...

7:42 AM. The staff is on her way out the door to go to that work place. Staff? A reminder that we're running low on milk.

7:45 AM. The staff is on her way, leaving the driveway. Now then, as I'll be alone for a few hours, planning out the day and how to occupy myself must be seen to.

Naps will be a priority.

8:12 AM. Barking off in the distance disturbs my reverie. I get up on the windowsill and look, but there's no sign of that foul hound on my property. Something appears to have him agitated.

Good.

8:20 AM. The barking continues, and sounds like it's relatively stationary. Just as long as he doesn't think of coming here.

8:30 AM. It appears that the dog has stopped barking. I wonder what got him so mad.

My compliments to the cause of it.

8:42 AM. Okay, all things being as they are, I think that a nap is called for at this point in the morning.

11:32 AM. Waking up. Big yawn and a stretch. Feeling a bit hungry.

11:33 AM. Oh, that's right. The only food still in the open is that bowl of field rations.

Oh well. When in need....

1:30 PM. Distant barking from that foul hound from down the road, barking at the mailman.

Has it occurred to you that he's only doing his job?

2:23 PM. Starting to have a case of the zoomies. Will have to sprint through the entire house.

4:45 PM. Waking up from another nap that was well earned after I dashed through every room of the house at maximum speed.

5:29 PM. The staff arrives at home. It's about time, staff. Tell me, did you bring milk?

5:32 PM. Supervising the staff while she unpacks the groceries. Good, very good. Two cartons of milk.

6:24 PM. Dinner with the staff. Bacon apple pancakes are very much approved of by me, if you ask me, and you are asking me.

8:48 PM. Pondering some of life's great mysteries. What is the meaning of the ball of string?

11:20 PM. The staff is off to bed. Good night, staff, sleep well.

Keep the door open, because I'll most likely be walking all over you at three in the morning.