A Day In The Life Of A Dog

It is time once more for the point of view of the dog and the cat. As always, the dog gets the first word in, because he gets so easily distracted.

7:01 AM. Waking up out of a sound sleep at home. A big yawn and a stretch. Already light out there. The sun gets up earlier and earlier every day. I, meanwhile, need my eight hours of sleep. Plus naps.

7:04 AM. A look outside. Looks like a misty sort of day. We've been having a lot of that lately. 

7:10 AM. Waiting on the human to come downstairs to see to my breakfast. After all, I don't have the opposable thumbs to open up pantry doors, so...

7:19 AM. The human comes downstairs. I vigorously thump my tail against the floor. Good morning, human! Fine day, isn't it? Say, how about we get started on my breakfast?

7:21 AM. The human is pouring me a big bowl of kibbles.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy....

7:22 AM. Polished off breakfast with just seven seconds shy of my all time fastest consumption of breakfast. 

That was good!

7:26 AM. Inquiring with the human as to if she'll let me out for a run.

7:28 AM. Out the door and on my way. See you later, human!

7:35 AM. Running through the back fields, barking my head off, as happy as I can be.

Life is good!

And so am I. 

Because I'm a good dog. A very good dog.

Just don't believe anything you hear from the mailman, the vet, or that cranky cat down the road.

7:50 AM. Dropping by to see Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. Hey, Spike!

7:51 AM. After the customary doggie greetings, Spike and I get to discuss matters of great importance.

When spring will really feel like spring. The movements of the squirrels. The true agenda of the mailman. 

7:54 AM. Spike tells me that he was barking at the wind last night just to keep his humans on their toes.

Good idea, Spike. I should try that sometime.

8:00 AM. Parting ways with Spike. See you later!

8:12 AM. Walking through the woods in the general direction of going home. 

Lots to do today, lots to do...

8:19 AM. Halting in my tracks. Porcupine ahead on the trail. Definitely someone not to annoy. Nearly as bad a reaction as a skunk.

Hey, pal, don't mind me, and please don't do that whole needle thing with me.

Been there, done that. It wasn't pleasant.

8:22 AM. The porcupine has passed by me after giving me a good serious glare. And looking over his shoulder. I'll just sit perfectly still until he's long gone and then continue on my way.

Honestly, what is it? Are the animals all listening to that cranky cat who's making me sound disreputable? Because I'm not disreputable.

I'm a very good dog.

Most of the time.

8:34 AM. Passing by the property where the aforementioned cranky cat lives. Wonder if I should go on and say hello.

8:36 AM. Out on the back lawn, approaching the house. The cat has seen me from a windowsill looking over the yard and now commences to hiss at me and make all sorts of derogatory remarks.

Fine, be that way.

8:40 AM. Back into the woods and on my way home.

I will never understand cats.

8:52 AM. Barking at the back door for the human to let me back in.

Human! It is I! Loki, Chewer of Slippers and Annoyer of Mailmen!

8:53 AM. The human intercepts me with the Towel of Torment before I can get past her. 

Come on, human, I just splashed around in the stream for three minutes!

10:58 AM. Waking up from a nap just as the human is having morning coffee. I use my patented sad eyes trick to convince her to give me a cookie.

12:45 PM. The human is having lunch. I have convinced her to give me a ham and cheese sandwich.

1:30 PM. Barking at the mailman as he drives off after dropping off some mail. Don't you ever come back here again, you fiend!

6:31 PM. Dinner with the human. She's made shepherds pie for herself, but has given me a plate of stewing beef. This is good!

11:28 PM. The human is off to bed. Good night, human. Sleep well.

If you hear me barking at three in the morning, never fear, I'm barking at nothing at all.