It is time once again for the point of view of the dog and the cat. As always, the dog gets the first say, because he gets easily distracted.
7:04 AM. Waking up at home. Taking a big
stretch while I yawn. Slept well. Dreamed of chewing on dinosaur bones while
paleontologists were yelling at me.
7:06 AM. A quick look outside. The dawn is
happening later and later now. And the days seem to be getting shorter and
shorter. A bit of chill in the air all the time. Trees are starting to turn
colours.
7:09 AM. Looking forward to getting out
there for a run. Priorities first, though, Loki. Breakfast must be seen to, but the human has to do that for me. First, I
happen to lack the opposable thumbs to open the pantry door. Second, if I could
get into the pantry and raid the kibble bag, I probably couldn’t be trusted to
finish at one helping.
7:13 AM. I can hear the human upstairs
moving about getting ready for the day, so I’ll be nice and patient and await
her arrival. Because I’m a good dog. A very
good dog. Oh yes I am. Despite what the vet and the mailman and that cranky
cat down the road have to say.
7:27 AM. The human comes downstairs. I wag
my tail in greetings. Hello, human! Fine day, isn’t it? Say, have you given any
thought to seeing to my breakfast?
7:28 AM. Watching the human getting my
breakfast ready. Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy!
7:29 AM. The human puts my bowl of kibbles
down on the kitchen floor. I commence eating.
7:30 AM. Licking my chops after finishing
off breakfast. Boy oh boy was that good!
7:33 AM. Inquiring with the human as to if
she’ll let me out the door for a walkabout.
7:35 AM. Out the back door for a run. See
you later, human!
7:42 AM. Dashing through the back fields,
barking my head off, as happy as I could be. Nothing bad can possibly happen
today, if you ask me, and of course you are asking me.
7:56 AM. Stopping by to see Spike the
Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. Hello, Spike!
7:57 AM. After greeting each other in the
customary canine fashion, Spike and I compare notes. We remark on how many days
before the first frost will show up. Can’t be too long now, what with cooler morning
temperatures.
8:01 AM. Spike and I confer on the movement
of the enemy. The squirrels seem extremely busy at the moment on nut hoarding
activities. There must be some reason for it- aside from the onset of cooler
weather, because that can’t be the only reason. Surely it must be something nefarious, like world domination.
8:03 AM. Parting ways with Spike. We agree
to keep each other up to date by the barking system as to any movements of the
enemy. Fortunately, the mailman isn’t coming around today, what with it being a
weekend, or we’d be giving him such a barking that he’d never want to come back
down this road again.
8:15 AM. Trotting through the woods, as
pleased as I can be, on my way home. I’m looking forward to getting home,
having a nice nap, that sort of thing. I always say, you can never have too
many naps.
8:22 AM. Slowed down considerably on the
path by the presence of a turtle ahead of me. I’d veer off the path, but
there’s poison ivy in those woods, and I always get confused by how to identify
it. So better safe than sorry. Say, buddy, could you speed it up a bit?
8:43 AM. Barking at the back door for the
human to let me in. She opens the door, checking to make sure I haven’t been
rolling in mud puddles or splashing about in the water. Come on, human, you
know me better than that. Then she lets me in. I happily head in. You know, it
might seem a bit odd for me to say, but I had the strangest feeling I was being
watched.
12:08 PM. Mooching a dinner roll from the
human while she has lunch. Ham and cheese always hits the spot for a good dog
like me. And I am a good dog. A very good dog.
2:40 PM. Lying on the back deck, snoozing
away, dreaming well. Nothing can possibly go wrong now if you ask me…
My reverie is interrupted by two
simultaneous and unwelcome things. My snout getting hit by a claw and a hiss
that sounds like something that came forth from the seventh circle of hell. I
yelp, jump up, and open my eyes. And standing there on my deck is that cranky cat from down the road, glaring
at me.
2:41 PM. The cranky cat keeps her claws out as a warning not to approach and
delivers a stern warning. Something about threats of sending the skunk after me
if I ever bother her again by waking her up or intruding on her property. Oh,
and something else about how do I like being yowled awake. I could be
completely wrong… I’m not fluent in cat, after all.
She walks off the deck as if she owns the
place.
I’m too stunned to even bark.
2:47 PM. The human lets me in. I’m still in
a befuddled state. Come on, I didn’t deserve getting clawed and hissed at. I
mean, barking at the cat and shaking off water and mud? That’s just a dog being
a dog.
3:05 PM. Still busy processing what
happened. Did the cat really mean what she said about the whole sending the
skunk after me? Why would a skunk do a cat a favour? Should I be worried?
Of course not. I’m sure it’ll all be
forgotten in a few days.
6:32 PM. Dinner with the human. Enjoying a
few chunks of stewing beef. The human’s been thoughtful enough to held some
back from that stew stuff she’s made for herself. I don’t know, human, why
would you spoil some perfectly good meat by mixing it with vegetables?
8:09 PM. Lying on the living room floor
while the human is on the couch reading. Pondering the great mysteries of
canine existence. Did the belly rub come before the wagging tail, or after?
11:28 PM. The human is off to bed. Well,
good night, human. Sleep well. I’ll keep a guard down here for the night. In
between naps. Because naps are a good thing. But if Jack Frost decides to start
painting the grass out there at three in the morning, you should probably know
I’ll be barking up a storm.
Bad Bad Bad cat ! Loki did not deserve the CLAWS in the nose.
ReplyDeleteThe do not move a sleeping dog is so true. I have a similar photo of the dog getting in the way of the photo. No one could say Winston could pass for a cloud.
Such a great post today.
cheers parsnip and badger
Oh, Loki had it coming after splashing water and mud all over the kitty!
DeleteOh BooHoo the cat had it coming.
DeleteLoki likes to pretend he's a good dog, but he can be very naughty!
DeleteWilma says to say "hi."
ReplyDeleteLoki says hi back!
DeleteThese posts are so hilarious!
ReplyDeleteJust thinking about getting up makes me tired... hahaha priceless
Thank you!
DeleteI love them all!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteI would have thought the cat would be named Loki. Somehow, it just seemed a better fit.
ReplyDeleteFace it, this doggie's a dunce!
I tend to write him like a goofball, totally oblivious at times and glossing over his own bad behaviour. Spike's an older dog, and wiser- including in not annoying cats!
DeleteWagging tail came first. Cute post. You know, for all her naughtiness, Fiona is always ready to go to bed at 10pm and she sleeps quietly all night.
ReplyDeleteGood for Fiona!
DeleteDat was geweldig / that was great to read in the early morning. Smiling now.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteSo. Cranky Cat strikes back. This is not over! Go Loki!
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, the guy in the swimming pool keeping his food safe from his dogs... LOL
Cranky Cat rules!
Delete