A Day In The Life Of A Dog

It is time once again for the point of view of the dog and the cat. As always, the hound has the first say.

7:05 AM. Waking up at home. Still feeling out of sorts. The human said she had to switch the clocks backwards a few days back, so everything went out of whack. Darker earlier, and earlier dawn, but less and less light by the day. I don’t see much point in switching clocks back and forth twice a year. All it does is make humans cranky and doggies confused.

7:09 AM. Looking out the front window. There’s been a hard frost overnight. And the odd snowflake here and there in the last few days. It won’t take long before I’ll be looking outside and seeing snow covering everything. Winter is coming, so they say. And I’m definitely going to have to take advantage of it.

7:12 AM. The human comes downstairs. Hello, human! Fine day, isn’t it?

7:13 AM. Following the human into the kitchen. Breakfast right about now is a good idea.

7:15 AM. The human has poured me a big bowl of kibbles. Yum yum yum!

7:19 AM. The human is letting me out for a run. See you later, human!

7:27 AM. Running through the back fields, barking my head off. Woof woof woof!

7:40 AM. Sniffing around at the long grasses. A nice chill to the air. Come on, winter, I want to get jumping around in fresh snow. One can’t go wrong with jumping around in the snow, am I right, or am I right? Of course I’m right.

7:56 AM. Stopping to pay a visit to Spike the Magnificent, Tormentor of Squirrels. Hey, Spike!

7:58 AM. Spike and I confer on colder temperatures and shorter days and the general weirdness of switching out clocks. Spike reports that he’s seen a squirrel yesterday with an exceedingly bushy tail. This may indicate a colder than usual winter. Did you catch him, Spike?

8:03 AM. Parting ways with Spike. See you later, Spike!

8:20 AM. Returning home. Barking to let the human know I’m back.

8:47 AM. Circling around on the living room floor precisely three times before settling down for a nap. There are protocols for this sort of thing, after all, and one must follow the protocols for nap time. It just makes sense, right? Of course right.

11:19 AM. Waking up to the sound of car keys jingles. The human asks if I want to go for a ride. Do I? Of course!

11:23 AM. In the car with the human as she’s driving. So, where are we going, huh? Are we going to a dog park in town? For a splash in Crazy Dog Creek? Can we go to town hall and visit the mayor? I can chase him up a tree again.

11:41 AM. Driving through the streets in town. Hey, wait a minute… this isn’t the way to any of the parks. This is… oh, no! Human! How could you? 

Not the vet!

11:43 AM. The human has parked the car right outside the vet’s office and is presently trying to get me inside. I am doing my best to not go inside while she pulls at my leash. No, no, no, no! How could you bring me to see that horrible monster?

11:45 AM. In the waiting room. Other dogs around. Cats in carrying containers. None of us look like we want to be here. So help me, human… this is why I’m going to be chewing one of your shoes later on tonight.

12:03 PM. In one of the examining rooms. The human has brought me face to face with the demonic villain herself. Oh, sure, human, you might think she looks perfectly normal, but we dogs can see the vet for the evil wretch that she is. I’m onto you, lady! Don’t forget, I’m onto you!

12:06 PM. Subjected to shots from the despicable beast. And my human’s just watching this happen and chatting in a friendly way with this vet. I won’t be forgiving you anytime soon, human! Do you hear me? Not anytime soon!

12:14 PM. The villainous fiend says I’ve been a good dog. If it was just you and me alone, lady, I’d be biting your leg right about now! You’re just as despicable as the mailman, do you know that?

12:26 PM. Stewing in the front seat of the car while the human drives. I’m mad at you, human. Mad, mad, mad, mad…. Wait a minute, why are we turning into this parking lot?

12:29 PM. The human brings me an ice cream cone. I look at it. I look at her. I look at it again. Okay, I’m not so mad at you that I’ll pass that up.

12:30 PM. Happily devouring the ice cream. The human apologizes for bringing me to the vet and says it’s for my own good. Yes, well, whatever… right now I’m more interested in the cone.

6:36 PM. Having dinner with the human. Bacon pancakes really hit the spot.

11:41 PM. The human is off to bed. Good night, human. Sleep well. Never fear. If the vile fiend happens to show up here tonight to finish mistreating me, I’ll bark my head off and chase her up a tree.