The Old Nigerian Scam Ploy

They come back every once in awhile. The spammers try leaving comments that inevitably turn up in the spam folders. Recently several of my dog posts have attracted the attention of a spamming nitwit named Jon desperately hoping I'll publish his pointless comments with their website link. Whatever they're trying to spam, I don't want it cluttering up my comments. I don't care about insurance, ugg boots, and luggage.

And then there are the scammers. I tend to get those in junk email, and often they're suitable for taking apart in a blog. Such was the case with this email I got a few days ago. 

GOOD DAY TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY,


I Just received a call from Mr. Randy Buday the Director Of DHL Company West Africa. Regarding a Bank Draft inheritance cheque of $10.5 Million USD I sent to you which was returned back due to wrong address provided.

Don't you forget that this Bank Draft was the one awarded to you by Mr. Glenn Thomas, my late husband who died in a Malaysian airline MH17 on March 8th,2014. clicking this page will surely explain better

Now they (THE DHL DELIVERY WORLD) need the reconfirmation of the below information;


Your Postal / delivery address:

Your Full Names:

Direct telephone number:


Mind you, you should never pay for the delivery Charges, the Insurance premium and the Clearance Certificate Fee of the Cheque because I already have paid for them, the only fee which you are expected to pay is $230.00 USD for the security keeping & intuity fee of the cheque.

I would have settled the fee, but the company insisted that I shouldn't because they don't know when you will be contacting them so as to avoid demurrage or further cost.

Here is the security keeping code: (DHL/0433/SKC) of your Bank Draft. You are expected to tender this code alongside the $230 Security keeping & intuity fee for verification before your delivery.


Dhl Address: DHL DELIVERY WORLD, Nigeria Ltd, DHL House ABUZE ABUJA.
Contact Person: Dr. Jerry Babs
Contact E-mail: depatchdeliveryworld09@gmail.com

I will be waiting to receive your quick response. Mind you, the earlier the better cause the Draft will surely be awarded to someone else if we didn't get to hear from you in the next 48hours.


GOD BLESS YOU.

Best Regards
Mrs. Jane Milne Robert.

Well, there we have it. A rather thorough take from the classic Nigerian Scam notebook. Lots of capitalized letters, particularly where not needed. Capitalized words and sentences, for that matter- one wonders if these buffoons realize they come across as really pissed off and deranged when they write in all capital letters. For example: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS WANTS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD versus Spongebob Squarepants is a tedious and obnoxious cartoon character.

There is a DHL corporation that operates out of Africa, as a logistics firm, an off shoot of a German firm. And yes, it does employ a fellow by the name of Randy Buday (at least he's got a LinkedIn profile that suggests he's with them), but these are where the facts end and the lies begin. Then there's the usual dangling out a large sum of money hoping the poor sucker will bite. Someone will bite, saying to themselves, "Gee, all that money just coming to me from a complete stranger? What could possibly go wrong?"

There are the usual tell tales of grammar that always come up with scammers. A proper business letter (which this is not) would use "because the draft will certainly be awarded" as opposed to "cause the Draft will surely be awarded". The word intuity caught my attention, so I googled intuity fee. Variations on the above letter turned up, with the same name, Mrs. Jane Milne Robert on them, and Scam Alert featuring prominently. 

On a hunch, I looked up the name Glenn Thomas, along with Malaysian Airline crash 2014. Well, there was a Glenn Thomas who died in one such plane crash in 2014. Only it was in July of 2014, not March the 8th, as our scammer indicates. The March 8th crash was that Malaysian Airlines plane, an MH370 type that took off from Kuala Lumpur and disappeared soon thereafter, yet to be found. Malaysian Airlines Flight 17, an MH17 flight, crashed en route from Amsterdam to Kuala Lumpur after being hit by a surface to air missile by pro-Russian forces in Ukraine on the 17th of July. Four months later.

Mr. Thomas was one of the passengers on board. It turns out that he was in fact a press officer for the World Health Organization, a British citizen whose funeral was attended by many. Before that he had worked extensively with the BBC, described as "a very nice, kind man who was popular with his colleagues." He was travelling to Australia for an AIDS conference when the plane was hit. And there was, in fact, no wife at all. The  article I came across eulogizing him mentions his significant other taking part in the funeral service- his same sex partner.

Nice try, Mrs Jane Milne Robert, or whatever the hell your real name is. Pretty despicable of you to use a real life tragedy, particularly a real life victim of said tragedy, to scam people, but hey, let's face it... scammers are despicable. And if you can't even keep the plane crashes straight, you've already blown your attempted scam wide open. Sure, it might be enough to give someone named Jethro or Bubba or Mama June the hope that you're legit, but anyone with a brain can see right through you.

In the future, why don't you try pulling this scam with someone of the most mild, serene, and forgiving nature? Just to see what will end up happening. I'm thinking you should try this with a short and stocky despot with a bad haircut living in North Korea.